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In which Hank is Grumpy and he answers questions from very nice people who deserve nicer answers but aren't going to get them because, as previously noted, I am grumpy. - Free shipping on orders over $80! - You can still join us tomorrow if you happen to have a great deal of free time this weekend and are already in Seattle!

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Good morning John. I am sleepy and there's a lot going on, and I'm making this video substantially ahead of time because PodCon is happening this weekend. I will admit that to a certain extent, not with my personal life, but with the world at large, I've a little bit had it.

I am feeling grumpy. I like to put positive energy out in the world, but also I like to be myself. And I like to experience the emotions that I'm experiencing. And I found in my pocket of this jean jacket questions from when we did live Dear Hank and Johns while on tour. We're gonna do a live Dear Hank and John at PodCon, so that's gonna be great.

What's this? This is just a coaster from my hotel.

So I wanted to answer some of these questions. I don't know if we answered them on tour, I don't know why they're in my pocket. But I will say that these are not necessarily that answers I would give if I was in a good mood. I'm very excited for PodCon, I'm very excited to do all the stuff I'm doing in my life, my actual life. Project for Awesome is coming, my baby is very cute, everything is good in my personal and professional life. But I don't know if you've heard about the rest of the world.

Alright, let's do the questions.

"How can you be supportive when a friend of yours gets a haircut you find really weird?"

All haircuts are weird. What other organism is like "I'm just gonna - My hair's just gonna grow forever. It's gonna get" Just like imagine a zebra galloping along tripping over its fur! People are so weird! Our hair grows forever, and the only other organisms that do this are freakin' domesticated dogs that we bred to have dumb hair! All haircuts are weird.


"What if, like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I want to believe there's no place like home, but also I don't know exactly where home is? - Rachel"

Welcome to Adulthood.

This is from Lindsey who asks, "What should be the signature dish that I bake to impress new friends?"

Your signature dish, I mean, nachos go in the oven, right? What else do you bake? Baked potatoes? Baked potatoes! Biscuits and gravy. Hot corndogs. Do you bake corndogs? No, you don't. You fry them.

This is from Anthony: "My brother spends a lot of time at home alone. I came home to him playing guitar and singing. I didn't know he did either of those things. I spoiled his secret talent! How do I tell him?"

Don't tell him! It's his secret! He wants it to be a secret. He wants to let you guys know in his own time. It can be really a lot of pressure at that stage between when you don't know anything and then you start to get kind of good at stuff. There's this huge gap between ok and good. And you don't know about that gap in the beginning. Anyone who can do anything with a guitar is magic if you don't know what's going on. I would let him practice in peace.

Annie says, "You're doing really great, sweetie!" Thank you, that helps.

"This world has a tendency not be as awesome as it should be. Brothers, would you be willing to support me in becoming the world's dictator?" And below that, it says, "Your loyalty will be rewarded." I mean, Dakota, you had me until the end there.

"As a turtle biologist, I must ask, what is your favorite kind of turtle?"

Um, I just realized I made a turtle face. I like sea turtles a lot. They're really good, especially baby ones. I like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I like Turtleman, like Dr. Laurence Turtleman, our least popular thing I've done on vlogbrothers, maybe ever!

"When I write sometimes it feels really stupid and bad writing, but when I read it back it's way better than I thought, but this makes me question my writing. Does this happen to you?"

Yes, it totally does! The thing to give credence to is not in the moment you're thinking about it and fixing and breaking and reforming. It's after you have done that, reading it and how you feel about that final product, not the terrible mess in between.

"How will I ever know if I have actually succeeded? - Meeka (?)"

Let me tell you, friend: it doesn't happen. You will never know. You will succeed in individual events, but failure will always be just around the corner, so find things that sustain you that aren't imaginary, like friends.

John, I'll see you on Tuesday.

Also, hey, John, free domestic shipping at for the next three days if you order $80 or more. Yeah.