Hello.

It may be day 2 of Pizzamas and I may be very tired from having done a gig here at the University of Florida, but I'm not gonna let that stop me from doing my job and keeping my commitment to a Pizzamas video livestream every day. So.

Tonight... This morning I flew down to the University of Florida, and today I have done a college talk. I hope it went okay.

If any of y'all are from the University of Florida, I hope you enjoyed the evening. I certainly did. It was really good, the audience was amazing.

So much depends on the audience with that stuff, and, um, it was great. And now I'm very tired, but I'm keeping my commitment to do a livestream every night until the end of Pizzamas. So, it's been a really good day 2 of Pizzamas, in fact it's been the best day 2 of Pizzamas in the history of Pizzamas.

Um, by a pretty wide margin. So, yesterday we surpassed our best day ever by about, like, 18%, and today we surpassed our best day---our best day 2 ever---by almost 50%, if I'm not mistaken, so, um. Even better today, which speaks to the fact that Hank's video was really good, and also, um, that maybe my video yesterday wasn't that good. [laughs] Is what I would---that's what I would chalk it up to, at any rate.

But yeah, it was a really, really good day today. Um, and...yeah. What are my thoughts on Hank---and maybe it was because Hank had a mustache.

Hold on, I'm gonna come over here, I'm in bed in my hotel room. Um, I thought Hank's mustache was really bad. Yeah.

Um, it looks like Minneapolis-based rapper Prof. I don't know how many of you are familiar with Prof. Rapper from the south side of Minneapolis.

Um, here, I'll put a link in the---the chat to, uh, where's a good Prof song that I could link to that's not too offensive. Um... Prof doesn't really lend himself to safe-for-work kinda stuff.

Here, we'll do this, uh...we'll do this. I mean, I still wouldn't say this is utterly safe-for-work, but it's...it's safer-for-work. So that's Prof, and you can watch that at any time.

I shouldn't probably be, um, advertising other people, I should be advertising Pizzamas. pizzamas.com. But, um, yeah, I thought his mustache looked pretty bad. But not as bad as mine.

That's my review. Um, both of our mustaches are bad. But yeah so it was a long day, and tomorrow I have to make a Pizzamas video which is gonna be about my strange, surreal visit to the United Nations, and I'm gonna get up real early before my flight and make that video, at least get it recorded.

I brought my good microphone to the battle, and so I'm just gonna record it in the morning. This hotel room is extremely echo-y as you might be able to hear, there's like nothing but hard surfaces, the floor is some kind of faux wood, and the walls have nothing on them, so like it's really not a good place to record a video but I also don't have any choice, that's the nature of Pizzamas. And yeah, so I might make a blanket fort and just record it inside the blanket fort.

But it's gonna be about the kind of day leading up to my speech at the United Nations, and then, hopefully it might include the speech itself. "is there a chance that we'll get a Pizzamas video including 'the format'?", oh yeah, probably I think there will be at least one format video from both of us. I'm tempted to make a format video tomorrow, but I'm probably just gonna do this thoughts from places because it'll be... Actually it won't be easier, I was gonna say it'll be easier but it won't be, the format will be easier, but it's just what I'm gonna do.

We've had four people order Pizzamas in the last minute from Eric, Shara, Gieslle and Kelly, thanks to all of you. Shara bought the most, Shara bought the "He's Just John" shirt which we just released today, the "Eras" shirt, both the pink and the black "He's Just John" shirts, that's a real commitment to Barbie, and the Pizza John scrunchy pack. Thank you so much!

And then since then Kai and Aryan both bought things as well, so thanks for going to Pizzamas.com,raising money to support the independent artists who contribute to Pizzamas but also, most importantly from my perspective, to support better TB diagnostics and treatments in impoverished communities. I've got four Pizzamas videos left so I'm sure I can squeeze in a format at some point.  It was a really lovely day actually. I was a little nervous about having to come down here and speak, and I haven't done a...

You know I haven't done an event like this in years, really, I did one at Brown University maybe a year ago. But this felt different, it was a big room and, just really lovely, lovely people, and really well organized, so very grateful to everybody who was there tonight. I really enjoyed it and I felt like...

Yeah. "What about Sierra Leone?" So, these are the Awesome Socks, and the money from them, and most of DFTBA's profit goes to support maternal health in Sierra Leone, and we think that's enough, we think we have enough to support the MCOE at the level that we need to, and so we're looking to do more, and for Pizzamas this year that means trying to reach a little bit into the world of tuberculosis, but with a lot of the same organizations, and certainly the same overall theory of change, for lack of a better term. We're very bought into, you know, Partners In Health' theory of change, that you have to strengthen the whole system not just make single vertical interventions, but instead invest in the system. Partner deeply with governments, partner deeply with the people who are actually providing care, to make sure that your'e doing a good job.

So that's the focus for us. And with tuberculosis, it's really important because almost all tuberculosis care in impoverished countries comes from governments, it comes from state-run hospitals, and so investing in those systems and investing in those hospitals is really good news because it then becomes a stronger health care system that is held together collectively by the people of that country rather than being held in private hands that are trying to run a parallel system. So that's the theory.

Uhh, every shirt is a TB fighter shirt. But yeah maybe next year we'll have more time to do TB themes. So yeah, how am I doing personally, somebody asked, I'm good, but I'm really tired, it was...

You know, it's really fun, it's so fun to do that kind of thing, I really loved being with that crowd and feeling their energy, and just being, it feels like being with Nerdighteria in real life in some ways, it's really quite thrilling and fulfilling. But at the same time it's a little tiring, so I'm definitely tired too. Jessica says "so go to bed!", no, I'm not ready for bed Jessica, I gotta do my live show.

What did I talk about? I don't know, somebody and people in comments can probably tell you what I talked about, but it was really good, it was good. We talked about uh... all kinds of things.

From mental health, to book writing, to my favorite Taylor Swift song, there were a lot of different topics. So I'm not... Sombody said "you got to recharge your social battery", and that's true.

I do have to recharge my social battery a little bit, but it's not even that, it's also that I was in New York, you know, for like three days for the tuberculosis UN stuff- and my favorite Taylor Swift song is currently "Vigilante Shit"- it's not even that I was currently, it's not even being here, it's that I was just in New York for all the tuberculosis stuff at the United Nations, and that was really fun too, and really fulfilling. So sometimes you stretch yourself out a little bit, this is my experience anyway, socially, but it's worth stretching yourself out a little bit because you get such good, you know, it's so meaningful that, you know, I'll be tired when I get home and it'll be kinda hard to make that video tomorrow, but it worth it because I got a lot of fulfillment out of it. So yeah, definitely, definitely a good day.  "How do you read at the speed of the stream?" I don't know Sadie, I've been doing it for like seventeen years, so I'm pretty good at it now.

People are saying "I'm tired, I'm tired, I'm tired" so I'm gonna, I'm just gonna tell you to go to Pizzamas.com, Pizzamas.com, Pizzamas.com. Yesterday when I told you to go to Pizzamas.com there was huge boost in sales, so now I believe in my power, the power of the daily live streams, so I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna stop doing it. There are 304 visitors at the Pizzamas.com store right now, that's pretty great.

Hard to complain about that.  I'm gonna read you a chapter of the thing I'm working on. Umm yeah. It's called "The Trauma Plot".

You know how books have those... Your stories have those little quotes at the beginning of them? The quote from the beginning of this one is from Annie Ernaux, one of my favorite, favorite writers.

She wrote in her book

Shamed: "I've always wanted to write this sort of book that I find it impossible to talk about afterwards, the sort of book that makes it impossible for me to withstand the gaze of others". I think I'm probably gonna cut that quote out of the book before it's all said and done, but that's like, my guiding principal for writing this story, trying to write in a way that... Oh Sarah's awake. Let me text her real quick, hold on.

I have to... I'm trying to write a story that, you know, is that story for me, that I find impossible to talk about afterwards, that makes it impossible for me to withstand the gaze of others. I feel like that's a really high bar to set for myself, but that's also what I wanna do, you know, if I'm gonna write another novel I want it to be something like that, something that comes from the way down deep that I can't...

Yeah, that is as vulnerable as I can make myself as, as deep as I can take myself, you know as a.. What did Kafka said? I mean, look I know I'm not Annie or no Kafka but I'm trying to do the best that I can do withing the confines of my own talents and experience.

So anyway this is, well it'll be pretty obvious that it's semi-autobiographical from the first sentence, but it's also written in the second person.