Hank: Since we live in Montana we decided, finally, that we would go out into Montana, where there are lots of trees, and get one ourselves.

Katherine: Backroad.
H: Backroad, yes, really backroad.

H: There's deers up there!

K: Hi cow!
H: Hi cow.
K: You like snow?
H: How're you doing?
K: Do you like snow? Hi! Hey you pretty girl!

H: There are a bunch of little trees. We're going to try and find one that looks like a Christmas tree, and then we're going to, er, murder it.

K: We're going to keep it cold.
H: And keep it nice and cold
K: We're going to water it.
H: Water it.
K: We're gonna put full-spectrum white lights on it to keep it healthier for longer.
H: Is that... Was that... Apparently Katherine has...
K: If you saw that SciShow.
H: Oh, I didn't.
K: You were on it.
H: Really?
K: Yeah. It was a question in the SciShow Quiz Show that you did with Henry.
H: Ohhh!
H: In the studio, they don't - you don't get the explanation.
K: Oh you don't... Oh, I see.
H: Yeah. Oh, we're making room for a friend in the car.

H: This is Brian.
Brian: Hello!
H: He's a, he's a city council person.
B: An alderman.
H: You're an alderman?
B: I'm an alderman.
H: That's the technical term?
B: I believe so.
K: Oh.
H: What is... Are there alderpeople?
B: Alderwomen. Alderpeople.
H: Alderwomen.
B: Aldermen.
H: OK. That sounds like it comes from elder.
K: Yeah.
B: Don't ask me questions I should know the answer to that I don't.

H: That's my friend Brian, the village elder.
B: Ward 1. Go Ward 1.
H: Go Ward 1. He had gray hair when I met him when he was a young man.
B: I had gray hair in junior high school.
H: Did you really?
B: A little bit.
H: You had your first gray hair in junior high school. That does not surprise me.

H: So looking around here I see some, somethings that are starting to look like potential Christmas trees candidates.
K: Yeah.
H: Mostly a little small.

H: Some deer prints and more deer prints. I think you got plenty of deer on your property.
B: Yeah I know. Unfortunately they all know when it's hunting season.

H: I think that one might be a little too big.
K: That's perfect.
H: It's pretty even. Even.

B: Ideally more in the thick would be better.
H: Why?
B: From the ones we want to leave.
H: Oh, right right. From your perspective as a, as a respectful steward of your land.

H: Alright, this is different from your average Christmas tree shopping experience.

H: Magpie!

H: But once you get more in the thick.
K: Yeah I know.
H: They're not as good.

H: Hello? It's a little bit crowded with tree back here.

H: Trying to get a little bit of snow off the tree.

H: We need a saw.
B: OK. You found one?
H: Yeah.
Woman: I got it, I'm on my way.

W: I've got a saw in my pocket.
H: Oh good.
W: It's actually really nice.
H: OK. I'll try not to fall over onto it.  Saws! 
K: Ugh!
H: Timber! 
K: Tiiiimber
H: It's goin' down.  Thank you, tree. 
W: Oh, it smells so good.
K: It does smell good.
H: You smell good in your demise, tree. Yeah, there you go.
W: There we go.
H: There we go. Alright tree, where did we come from?

H: And now my wife does the rest of the hard work, while I hold the camera.  

[Dramatic Christmas music plays] Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say "throw cares away." Christmas is here, bringing good cheer, to young and old, meek and the bold, ding, dong, ding, dong that is their song. With joyful ring, all caroling, one seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere, filling the air. Oh, how they pound, raising their sound, o'er hill and dale, telling their tale. Gaily they ring, while people sing, songs of good cheer, Christmas is here. Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas. Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas. Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas. Merry, merry, merry, merry Christmas.

[Song repeats] Hark! How the bells, sweet silver bells, all seem to say "throw cares away." Christmas is here, bringing good cheer, to young and old, meek and the bold, ding, dong, ding, dong that is their song. With joyful ring, all caroling, one seems to hear words of good cheer from everywhere, filling the air.

K: Posing in front of it, like people do with their deer carcasses. 
H: Yeah. 
K: Looking like -