Hank: Hello and welcome to Hank Green plays L.A. Noire. I just interviewed a nice, young man, wasn't that young, about railway stuff and he... He, I interviewed him somewhat poorly and I don't think that I got all of the... Black Resistance? Residence. OK, yes, let's go there.   Cole: 620 Bunker Hill Avenue. You know where that is? Stefan: Behind Bunker Hill. Couple of blocks north of central station.   Hank: It's right by Bunker Hill. So I don't know if I got all of the information that I should've gotten. Just too bad.   Stefan: So let’s see how it plays out.   Hank: Right. And... So if you're confused, the...   Radio: Any unit able to handle, a citizen reports a 211 in progress, 437 Eighth Street. Unit to handle, Code Three, identify.
Stefan: Could be a car...

Hank: Where's that? Is it on the map? What's this? That's the freight depo. I can't... Wow, this is a big freaking map, Jesus! Wow! Man, Los Angeles is not insignificant. OK, so what I was saying was just so... Oh, there it was. Oh, whatever. Just so you know...

Stefan: Make Black drive somewhere lonely then give him a tap...

Hank: Actually, I am (?~1:22). This game contains spoilers, it contains bad words, and it contains violence, and apparently it also sometimes contains nudity, though I haven't yet seen any of that.

Stefan: Well, obviously someone got a little heavy handed...
Cole: It’s the wrong way around.

Hank: And, uh... So yeah, I found a car that had a great deal of blood on it.

Cole: ...all the trouble to steal the car, and it goes wrong, you’d leave the body behind. Not the car.

Hank: And it also had these dudes.

Stefan: You’ve got something there, Phelps. It doesn’t add up.

Hank: Oh, I got some experience for no reason. It had a lot of blood on it and it had this dude's wallet that owned the car. So we have to go talk to his wife which I'm not really looking forward to but there's also a street crime in progress that I'm headed to.

Stefan: You read about the guy on the crossing yesterday?
Cole: No. What happened?
Stefan: Over on Lincoln Avenue. This guy is driving along and his oil light comes on. He stops the car and gets out... he pops the hood, and...
Cole: He’s on a rail crossing?
Stefan: You got it.

Hank: Oh, that's bad.

Stefan: He’s got his head under there checking the oil when the Southern Pacific freight slams into his car doing ninety miles an hour. Car came to a rest more than a mile down the track.

Hank: Oof. Well I'm glad you told me that story, I feel much better about my life now.

Stefan: You’ll get plenty of blood and guts and mindless stupidity working Traffic, Phelps. Who needs the 2nd Amendment when we’ll give a goddamn fool the license to...

Hank: Apparently we work in Traffic. It doesn't really feel like we work in Traffic. I'm getting better at the driving too. I've hardly crashed into anybody today.

Cole: If it’s a kidnapping, why leave the victim’s ID? If it’s a murder why leave the car?

Hank: I don't know.

Radio: Any unit able to handle, a citizen reports a 211 in progress.

Hank: 211 in progress. Alright.

Robber: Kid, drop that money one more time and you're a goner.
Hotel worker: Sorry, mister. It's just my hands are shaking.
Robber: Shut up. Get the money in the bag.

Hank: You are not helping with my nerves, sir.

Hotel worker: Yes, sir.

Hank: Should I just shoot him?

Robber: Hurry the hell up, will you? Come on! It's the goddamn cops!
Hotel worker: Careful, he's got a gun!

Hank: Don't shoot the nice man. He's nice. Oh, he went this way, this way, this way. I'm walking up a thing. Why are they always so hard to find? Oh come on. I'm gonna do a car chase now? I'm gonna hot wire this car? I don't actually, apparently I don't have to hot wire... Oh no! No! This one is nice, though. This is nicer than the police cars. Out of my way, there's a car up here that totally needs... OK, I saw him. At least I can still see him. I'm on the other side of the law than I'm used to being in these games.

Ooh, sorry parking meter. Your car is much slower than my car. Oh my God. Apparently not, you ha... Now you pushed on the accel... I'm not as fast on the uphill. What!?

Stefan: Stop here, they're making a break for it on foot.

Hank: How do I get out of the car? Oh, oh jeez, Cole. Cole, get in the fricking place. Should've driven the car a little farther. Faster, friend, faster.

Stefan: Throw out the guns.

Hank: What is going on? Did they get another car? Put the gun away. Run, just run. Get in the car, get in the car. Is that what I'm supposed to do? I'm supposed to get in the car? I assume. Faster, Cole, jeez. That was the slowest any person has ever gotten into a car. To be totally honest, I'm not sure what's going on but I'm a bad driver and I don't know what's going on. I left my partner in the lurch and I don't know what the car looks like.

OK, well thank you for watching this episode of Hank Green plays L.A. Noire. Sorry about the fail but I'll do better next time, I promise. And you will not see me and I will not see you but you will hear me next time on Hank Green plays L.A. Noire.