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Last sync:2023-12-05 03:30
In which Hank as Desmond as Ezio visits Altair's old haunt in Masyaf, and then totally misunderstands a mission and kills a bunch of people he wasn't supposed to kill.
Hello and welcome to Hank Green Plays Assassin's Creed Revelations. What we got? We got this thing here...can I have this? I would like this. This looks like fun. Nope, I can't have that. There is..."a sort of homecoming." Where is Ezio? Ezio? Oh, you are standing on nothing. OK. Woah! That didn't look possible. Who is this? Is this Ezio right there? I guess because we're in Mas...or I mean Altair I mean. So I'm accessing my database about Ezio Auditore Da Firenze because I really, I just want to know as much as I can.

Ezio, son of Giovanni and Maria, born into luxury ah wow kay, plenty of back story. In case you haven't seen just pause and watch, pause and read this. Ah thank you Mr Auditore for that for doing all his homework so you don't have to. Just like Zefrank.

I think this is the ghost of Altair there. It looks like Altair there, that looks like his clothes. Yeah. So apparently this guy, he sounds like he did not die. I don't know what I'm doing. What's going on? Aww, objective completed, "kill a Byzantine Templar with counter kill", yes I don't mind if I do! Well this is just much, oh I guess this is kind of a tutorial, uhm, for people who haven't played before, so we're kind of getting a bit of tutorialization going on.

It's amazing how these people move in precisely the exact same way. Oh oh, ok. Last time on this, you should watch it because it explains everything that is going on. And there's a link in the top left if you want to go back and watch that now. But I seem to have acquired a hidden blade which is not so bad, and also a sweet sword. Check that out. Don't mind if I do. I already had a scabbard just waiting for this, y'know, just a scabbard, always carry...woah he's fast!

Enemy: You can't escape!

Hank: Don't mind if I do kill you. Oh there's three of you. Oh you had a lot of -- oh you did not. You. This is what you get. Oh your face! Your face has a sword in it. Come on get me. Oh oh oooooooooooooh! What?! Whaaaat everybody what?

What's goin' on? Where you going? Where you going Ezio? Hey let's go. I'm ahead of you! I'm faster than Altair. "Climb Masyaf's central keep." If you want me to I will. Oh man I killed that guy with a vengeance. Oh there's a ladder. Old school like a normal person...climbing things. Wait. There was a thing, I could have used the thing. Oh that's boring, just climbing is boring when there's awesome things. Press at any time to see my current objective. What is my current objective? I don't even know. Climb the keep, that's all I know. Climb the keep. Climb the keep, that's my current objective. "Kill a Byzantine Templar with a counter-kill", already done.

How did I did Ezio get over there? I mean Altair. Ahhhh uhm ah! That was quite a jump. OK, I'm glad I'm dressed warmly. This is uh, your fingers have got to be totally numb. This is insane. Why is there a phone ringing? Who is calling? That's not even my phone. Why doesn't Katherine have her phone? Can I pause? I'm gonna pause. OK I'm gonna go check the phone, make sure Katherine's OK. OK it wasn't anyone important.

Oooh ah! I didn't mean to go that far. It scared me. I'm's awfully hard to I'm glad that I've got this Altair ghost ahead of me helping me out. The snow effects are very realistic, I can tell you as someone who is currently experiencing a great deal of actual snow. C'mon, go on, follow the Altair, Assnass...Assnassinate from the ledge. Don't mind if I do. Oh I didn't even kill you. I'm so much better than Altair. I do not need Altair. Oh.

Altair seems to have gotten up on a wall that isn't there anymore which is interesting, so apparently we are historically.... Oh I jumped sideways. I already know how to do that. Who's up here, anybody up here? Anybody? There is a big bird. Hello big bird. Hi hi. What's up? You wanna hang out? You wanna hang out sometime? Me and big bird. I can punch you...can I punch you? Nope. Yagh! Nope. Nope nope. I can't punch the big bird. Sometimes I like to punch eagles.

OK you are over here. This big bird was the important one. I *can* interact with the big bird, just not that big bird. Only -- no -- I'm not interacting with the big bird. It's a sparkly bit. Was it sparkling? I didn't even notice. Oh! Oh, what are you doing? You knew that that was going to be there somehow? 'Cause that's clever.

"Uhm, I am unprepared for this person being in my house." Oh, yeah, what was that like Matrix stuff that just happened? Sweet. "Your next available missions are always shown on your map and the mini map". OK, well I see it in my mini map.

The ceilings in here are pretty low which is actually I'm sure more accurate than the towering ceilings of previous....OK, air assassinate, press LT to lock on to your target, that guy for example, then press X to perform an air assassination. Hiiiyee! Yowzas, your head has a thing in it. That must be embarrassing for you.

What are we doing? Oh hey, how's it going? What's up? Oh ow! OK, OK, who's next? You? Oh, that looked like it hurt. Ah, my butt, you should have died. Oh I don't even know how I managed that one, but that was cool. Who's there? Are you a child? Are you a person? You're sparkly. I can interact.

Well if you're not trying to kill me then I'm not trying to kill you. Well. No. That's not what I mean sir. Does that guy have yellow eyes? Sweet.

OK. "A journal of some kind". What, I have a choice to not accept? "Mysterious journal has brought the Templars to Masyaf. Find the Templar captain and recover it from his cold dead hands." Doesn't say that but that's what they mean. There is an assassin's crest on the top of there, that's good to see, so they are at least expecting me.

Blinky light. Blinky. Blinky. Paige? Paige Railstone? Dickhead? Are you there? No. Nobody.

All right, there is a dot just ahead, but is it above or below me? It appears to be just ahead, neither above nor below. He's faster than he used to be. Ezio, in shape. I like that because I don't like to be waiting. Oh what a pretty pretty pretty game. Go through this door. Who's around? Anybody? Anybody around? No.

I know I'm supposed to go the other way but I want to look this way first. See what's over here. Just curious.

[singing:] Call me sentimental but I want to go back.

It's sparkly. Oh oh. Is this the -- have I been here? I have been here before. Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. I remember. I remember, guys. I also remember I can't jump that far without hurting myself, but now apparently I can, so there's that. Oh I remember all of this place, that's where I used to learn how to fight.

I think uh you are going to die. That's my prediction. Find the Templar captain and retrieve the journal from this cold dead hands. OK. Oh hi, I didn't see you guys. Are you the Templar captain, I don't even know. Oh Ezio you are so good at games. I don't know what I'm doing to be totally brutally honest with you. Oh running up a wall, just run up that wall.

Oh hi everybody, I forgot about...where's my sword? Oh. I forgot. Oh. Yeah. I don't know why you're alive still? You should totally be dead. Oh yeah, I remembered how to counter kill y'all. That did not look right. Not counter-kill, but like the extension kill where you continue killing after your first kill, I forgot how to do that for a second, but I remembered, don't worry I remembered. Hi guys. Yeah. Stabby stabby. Yeah oh oh in your head! Oh your nose is off! Sorry about your nose not being attached to your face anymore sir! Sorry. Mah!

Weee. That looks like a hay-bale down there, but I don't think I want to go down there, do I? Or do I not? I dunno, do I? I dunno. Do I? I dunno. I don't. I wanna go this way. Oh God it's cold enough in the real world does it have to be freezing in Masyaf too? Uhhh. Check your weather reports people, Montana has not been nice lately.

Oh apparently I'm going up here to go into the hay-bale. Ezio's parachute?! How do I use the parachute. Press X while falling to open the parachute. OK. There I go. No problems. I can use LS to steer. I was hold -- I was like jamming X and was like "do I need to keep holding X?" What's up guys? Press X to assassinate any guards below. Any of them? Yo guys, guys. Oh I wanted to assassinate from above.

Templars are gathering...I missed it, what did it say. Templars in village, nine of nine. Just drop on down. Then you can be your stealthy pants. That's not -- those guys aren't bad, I almost killed them. They're not bad. Ahhhh, hay-bale! I don't want to assassinate from the hay-bale. Anybody? Are any of you bad?

Where are they? Templars? Hello? Nnooo burger! All right you guys, I'm coming for you. I'm tired of waiting. Should have jumped on to that Ezio, come on. Aaaand....oh, oh, there are so many of them. Oh you died too sir! Ooh, arh, femoral artery, the largest artery in the body.

Warning, reduce target to distance....distance to target. I didn't know that he was running away, I would've not killed all his friends first. Oh I don't even know if this is... OK good. Yeah run away I'm a bad man. Don't get in my way. I will kill your babies.

No, no, you're not going up Ezio, go up, go up the battles, go up things. Keep going up. Oh, I know what pigeons mean. Don't patronize me! OK. Why did I jump off that when clearly that's not what I meant to do. Templars in village eight of nine? Eight?

Hey what's up? No it's cool. It's cool. I said it was cool. No it's nothing. Oi that was my head dude! Oh gosh it must suck to be so dead. Where did everybody go? Oh no no I keep not killing the guy I'm supposed to kill. Seven of nine though. I did kill the guy I'm supposed to kill. I don't understand why's saying I need to reduce distance to the target. What it definitely should be saying that you need to reduce your...eagle sense...use LS. Oh hello LS. Who's there? Anybody there? Hello? Locate my target who's in gold. None of your are in gold unless all of your are in gold.

What? Nobody here. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. Are you all? Why aren't I killing them? Oh it escaped, it escaped, I don't understand. Templar escaped. Six remaining. Ah oh ohohoho. I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. But I do know that this episode of Hank Green plays Assassin's Creed Brotherhood Assassin's Creed I slipped into the depths there...has to end...because it can't go on forever..I know that's so sad. But it can't, it just can't, but I can kill these last couple of people. Just oh in the Matrix, just the Matrix at the end there.

Thank-you for watching. You will not see me and I will not see you, but you will hear me. Good-bye.