Good morning Hank, it's Friday.

It's Question Friday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters. "Are you going to live in Indianapolis forever?" Well no, I'm going to spend the vast majority of forever deceased. "Are you a rebel?" No, I've always been for the Empire, that's no secret. The world needs order. And death stars. "Are you aware that on average that your videos that do discuss giraffe mating get ten times more views then your videos that don't discuss giraffe mating?" Yeah, I don't know what it is exactly, but for some reason, as previously noted, people love giraffes who love giraffes.

Maybe it's because the mating habits of the giraffe are profoundly fascinating. For instance, did you know, and by the way this is all going to be disturbing, when boy giraffes wanna have babies with girl giraffes, the first thing that they do is use their heads to nudge the girl giraffes in their lady parts. They do this, and by the way Hank you may want to put a bucket nearby, because it causes the girl giraffes to pee and then the boy giraffes drink the pee because they can taste whether or not the girl giraffes are ovulating. *gag* Sorry, I pictured it, I pictured it. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" Ummm... if you're thinking that urine-swilling giraffe sex is the most profoundly unerotic thing you've ever heard of then yes.

Otherwise, you disgust me. "Are you trying to take over the world using muffins and silly string?" Hank, we've been found out. "Are you gonna come to my graduation party?" No, but where is it, I'll send an emissary. "Are you my father?" Let me answer your question with a question. Are you a nine month old West Highland Terrier with an indomitable desire to eat shoes? If not, no. "Are you stuck in the labyrinth?" In the labyrinth, but not stuck. "Are you thinking about writing more books?" Yes, I'm contracted to write at least three more books, so don't worry. "Are you even reading this?" Well I was, but now I'm doing something else. "Are you an optimist with regard to the future of humanity?" Well, I'm an optimist in the sense that I think our relentless attempt to extinguish the species will fail for the foreseeable future.

Yay! "Are you Kurt Vonnegut?" Dude, I wish! "Are you Santa?" No, Santa's black. "Are you Gandalf?" You shall not... I mean ,who am I kidding? My wizard stick is an umbrella.

Also, I don't think Gandalf calls it a wizard stick. "Are you King James II of England?" Well, I'm not Catholic, I'm not British, and I don't have shoulder length curly hair and if I did, I wouldn't part it in the middle. "Are you a banana?" Oh, come on, these questions are just getting stupid, like do I have some kind of pale exterior that you can peel away and then find edible meat inside? Oh, yes. But, do I thrive in tropical climates?

Oh my God, I am a banana. "Are you going to put Bubbles the nerdfighting puppy in a video soon?" *clip of Bubbles* "Are you Jacques Derrida?" Je vais à la bibliothèque is the only sentence I know in French. Therefore, I'm probably not Jacques Derrida. "Are you a 40-year old virgin ROFL?" Is a question that was asked by someone who doesn't know the proper placement of question marks. "Are you gonna do your happy dance immediately after reading my question?" Yes! *performs happy dance* Yes! Hank, Happy 2009.