Good Morning, John. This is a weird way to make a video.

I recently fell down while ice skating. I didn’t fall down, actually, I dove in front of Orin to make him laugh because I will do anything to see that little kid smile. My ankle and my hip stayed like, in the same place, just sort of right in line with each other, but unfortunately my knee did not occupy any space inside of that line. Um, so that hurts and now I’m squatting. This is probably an observation that people have made about Los Angeles before, but it’s very weird that there are a lot, a lot of advertisements. Tens of millions of dollars of advertisements that are asking me to consider a film or television show for awards. There are 9,921 members of The Academy, so each of those ads is for an audience of less than ten thousand.

The thing is, it must work. Like, they wouldn’t do it if it didn’t work. But how many people have that kind of sway? So really it’s not the 9,921, it’s about the like, 45 people who might change their votes based on seeing this thing. If you could just find those 45 people and give them each a million dollars, it would be the same thing. All because there’s that much economic value.

Uh, now I’m doing stand up comedy, except I’m not, I’m not just doing stand up like, upset. A lot of stand up comedy these days is really just stand up upset. I’m gonna do squat down upsetedy. That's- (laughs…)

♩ Give me lovin', maybe I feel high. ♩

Here’s a weird thing. Like I can make a really bad joke uh, and everybody'd be like uuuuggghh. But, an artificial intelligence makes a really bad joke and everybody loses their minds, but this makes sense. Because if I ask you, what like, 522 times 8 divided by 64 is, no-uh, like, you don’t know.

If a computer does that, not a big deal. But if you do that, in front of me, everybody would lose their minds. Like, I would be like ohhh. But, when computers could first do those math problems, was it like that? Were people that freaked out? Like the way that we were like, write a poem about Gilligan's Island in the style of 50 Cent, and like the AI would do it, and we’re all like oh oh! Is that how people felt when calculators were first a thing?

Already I can see that happening, where we’re like, well yeah, of course AI can tell you how to hot-wire a car as a Shakespearean sonnet, but only if you give it like an ethical dilemma as a reason to tell you why to hot-wire a car. That’s no big deal. That’s what AI does.

It’s been a month. We adapt so fast. Like, we’re gonna make a living computer sometime in my life it seems like. And that’s gonna be like, amazing, huge news on Friday, they’ll be like, we found alien life in a computer, we accidentally did that. And then on Wednesday it won’t even be like new gossip, it will be the same gossip, but 40 years from now, it will just be like Harry Styles and Taylor Swift doing something. And I’ll love it.

And then a year later, I’ll be like yes, this is my friend Steve, he’s a computer man, he’s a computer man, he’s a man made of computer, and he’s my friend, and that’s not weird. We, this is what we do. I found a sticker, let me read you what it says. It says Samantha Rose Garrison "vampire boy" available on all streaming platforms. I think we should all go listen to it.

Garrison:
♩ Vampire boy ♩
♩ Killing all your favorite toys ♩
♩ Little did you know I've been bit before ♩
♩ Little did you know I could give you a tour ♩
♩ Of all the best places ♩
♩ And all the pretty faces ♩

Hank: John, I’ll see you Tuesday.