Lizzie: [reading from a page] OMG have you been watching Lydia's latest videos? If you haven't go watch them right now. Now! Watch them twice. Like, share, favorite. They're totes more adorbs than mine, and not a total boo hoo downer like these videos. 'Cause of my younger way cuter sister's ridiculous talents ah... there is no need to continue my own videos unless she's in them of course. 

My name is Lizzie Bennet- 

[Lydia enters]

Lydia: And my name is Lydia Bennet.

Lizzie: -and we're even now right?

[Lydia flips her hair and winks]

Lizzie: Right?

[Lydia continues to play with her hair]

Lydia: Yeah, whatever.

[intro plays]

Lizzie: Don't you think my endorsement would have sounded better if you hadn't written it yourself?

Lydia: You have a short memory, Lizzie Bennet. 

Lizzie: I forget nothing. And I'm totally going to catch up on your videos soon.

Lydia: Aw, thanks! 

Lizzie: So you're going to keep making them? 

Lydia: Pshh! Please! Now that you're back I can just crash into yours. So much easier! Stay tuned for the adorbs, everyone!

[Lydia winks and exits]

Lizzie: Ahh... there's no place like home! And it does look like I'll be here for a while.
While Mr. Collins has been a remarkably good sport about the whole... blackmailing thing, I think I'm going to give him some time to cool off.
Plus I've learned more than enough about Collins and Collins for my paper.

[Charlotte enters]

Charlotte: Admit it! You're afraid of dinning with Ms. de Bourgh again.

Lizzie: Discretion is the better part valor. Besides you should be nice to me. Not only did Mr. Collins give her the holiday off, but he said she could take the whole week.

Charlotte: I am glad I got to spend the holiday with my family, but I can not condone your methods. 

Lizzie: Diplomatically put. Now go enjoy your week off! You earned it! 

Charlotte: Wait! You're kicking me out? 

Lizzie: This is what you get for leaving me alone for a month. Self-sufficiency! Now shoo! [Lizzie pokes Charlotte in the sides to get her to stand]

[Charlotte exits] 

Lizzie: I regret nothing! And being at home does have it's perks! It's nice to see Dad again. 

Lizzie-as-Mr.-Bennet: Lizzie, you're back. Thought I could feel the average level of silliness in this house dropping. Guess I won't start pushing a bonsai just yet. 

Lizzie: From him, that's positively gushing. Plus there is also...

[Jane enters] 

Lizzie: Jane!

Jane: Hi! It's so good to see you! 

Lizzie: At least for the next week, internet, the elusive Jane Bennet! [Gestures to Jane]

Jane: I'm not elusive. I was in Lydia's videos. 

Lizzie: [Laughing] You mean because she drove hours in the middle of the night to go visit you? [Gesturing to the camera] Lydia, the Los Angeles adventures! Go catch up now! I know I will! Sort of a contractual thing... 

Jane: Oh. [Laughs] Well, it was really sweet of her to come and see me. Even though it was very wrong to cut school. 

[Both nod]

Lizzie: Speaking of people who unexpectedly took off for Los Angeles... The viewers would like to know if you ever heard from Bing. 

Jane: I- No. He was busy, and I was busy. You know how it is. 

Lizzie: I was hoping he would get back in touch after... you know. 

Jane: Me, too. 

[Lizzie shrugs]

Lizzie: Sorry.

[Lydia enters and hugs Lizzie and Jane]

Lydia: OMG! Did you hear? No, of course you didn't.

Lizzie: Hear what? 

Lydia: George Wickham, G-Dubs the ab-tastic, is back in town. 

Jane: Huh. I would have thought that the swim season would have been over by now.

Lydia: It is. He's just casually back in town. Maybe you can casually run into him, Lizzie. You know, since you two were all casual. 

Lizzie: And we are done! 

[outro plays]