Good morning Hank, it's Wednesday. Suddenly and unexpectedly it has become... spring, so I thought I'd take you on my favorite walk today while I answer real questions from real nerdfighters.

How do I know if I love him?
Well for one thing, you don't generally find yourself asking that question.

Who the eff is Hank?
Hank is a small coral atoll 703 nautical miles south of the equator. Hank is known as one of the most remote uninhabited islands in the world.

Do you have any beard-growing tips?
Uhhh...I mean I guess the main tip would be just try to avoid shaving. That's really in the end what takes down almost 100% of beards. Shaving.

Ah, we have arrived, Hank. Right here, in suburban Indianapolis, nature!

When you coming with a new book?
My new book, which I co-wrote with my friend David Leviathan, is called Will Grayson, Will Grayson and it comes out in 28 days.

Wait, wh-wait hold on a second! I have a book coming out in 28 days?! French the llama!

Are you going on tour?
Yes! I will be in Indianapolis on March 15th talking about vlogging, and then in April I will be in Chicago, Boulder, Austin, Texas, New York City, Madison, Connecticut, LA and San Francisco. More info in the doobly-doo! I pointed in the wrong direction! Haaaah!

Will you give away some Advance Reading Copies of Will Grayson, Will Grayson to nerdfighters?
Yeah, that's a great idea. I have five Advance Readers Copies of Will Grayson, Will Grayson at home. I will give all of them away to a random commenter here or at the Ning.

How's the diet?
The diet's still going well, but one thing I wanted to mention, I'm not actually losing weight because people were shaming me. In fact I think shaming is always inappropriate and it's a particularly bad motivator. The whole idea of the "John Green Is Fat" video was to talk about why it's so enjoyable to have fun at other people's expense, but then it just got muddled and confusing and I'm sorry. The reason I'm losing weight is because of Henry, like I look at him and I think, "Well, I guess the only real motivator in this world is love." Well, and also wanting to make your ex-girlfriends regret dumping you. Yes, true, also that.

If you were in a band, what would you call it?
I would definitely still call it Mow and the Lawns. Or the Moby Moby Dick Tones.

Why is a raven like a writing desk?
Hank, that is a trick and I am not going to fall for it. Lewis Carroll intended that riddle to have no answer. But what does a writing desk have in common with a raven? Hmm. Ah! I got it. Edgar Allen Poe wrote on both! Riddle, even when you don't have a solution, I can pwn you!

What part of VidCon are you looking forward to the most?
I can't pick just one, I'm gonna pick four. Ze Frank, the ball pit, Charlie McDonnell biting my finger, and the awesome concerts at night.

Are you and Hank trying to get rich from VidCon?
Yeah. Hank and I were sitting around one day and we thought to ourselves, "How could we get rich?" Maybe a YouTube conference. No, any proceeds from VidCon are gonna go to charity, and one other thing I should tell you, you can get a full refund until June 15th if for some reason you can't go. And if you don't know what VidCon is, there's a link in the doobly-doo, but I'm not going to humiliate myself by pointing in the wrong direction again.

Will I become incredibly sympathetic to the homosexual agenda after reading Will Grayson, Will Grayson?
Well, I have to say as a writer I don't really aspire to be in the agenda sympathizing business, I aspire to be in the telling good and true stories business.

Why don't you and Hank do challenges any more?
I don't know. Hank, let's do some challenges. I'll see you on Friday.

See what happened, Hank? I was trying to give you a good video outside, but then I cut myself on nature. Stupid nature.