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Do you put your mask or earbuds on first? Why were soda fountains a big deal? Why don't holes in the ground below sea level always fill with water? Where did XOXO as hugs and kisses in letters come from? How do you tell if someone has been quantum leapt? Why is pint pronounced the way it is? Hank Green and John Green have answers!

If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjohn@gmail.com.

Join us for monthly livestreams and an exclusive weekly podcast at patreon.com/dearhankandjohn.

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*Music*

Hank: Hello! And welcome to Dear Hank and John!

John: Or as I prefer to think of it Dear John and staring into the middle distance in worry.

H: This podcast- god, John.

J: Sorry. I'm sorry, I was just staring into the middle distance with worry and I forgot what I was supposed to say. I forgot my line.

H: This podcast comes out on Monday, John!

J: Yup.

H: And on Tuesday! Anyway, we're answering questions, giving you dubious advice and bringing you all the news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. John, I was on TikTok recently and I found a TikTok that was forbidden. And it said "TikTok forbidden", and I was like "Why did I just get invited to check out 'TikTok forbidden'?"  but it was "For Biden"

J: *laughs* That's pretty funny.

H: It's a true story too! I was like "What's 'TikTok forbidden'?"

J: I believe it. That's exciting. Oh, I finally made it to the forbidden part of TikTok. I would like to talk to you today, Hank, about the only person I've been thinking about all day.

I think we all know who it is, it's Alexei Leonov, the first person to ever walk in space. 

H: Oh, Alexei, sure!

J: Alexei Leonov, who did the first space walk, and then when he was coming back into the capsule discovered that his space suit had inflated too much for him to fit back inside of the capsule.

H: *laughs* Yeah, uh-huh.

J: And then found himself in quite a pickle. So, the only thing that he could do was the thing that he did do: which was poke a hole in his space suit (*Hank laughing*) and listen as the air hissed out of it, so that he could climb back in to the capsule as the air hissed out of his one and only space suit after being the first human ever to walk into space. Alexei Leonov, Hank, whose troubles, as it happened, had only just begun. Do you know the rest of the story? 

H: He-he made it home!

J: No! Incorrect!

H: He didn't?

J: I mean, correct in the broadest sense.

H: Yeah!

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J: But incorrect in the narrowest sense. Which is then-

H: Okay, he made it back to earth.

J: They did land on earth, but they landed way off course. The other thing to know about Alexei Leonov's space suit is that it was drenched in sweat. Like, he had like sweat up to his lower calves-

H: Ugh

J: -because all the sweat just, like, went down.

H: Yeah.

J: So, they land. It's winter.

H: Uh-huh.

J: They're in Siberia.

H: Uh-huh.

J: They're in the taiga. 

H: *laugh* He's way off course, he's in the middle of nowhere. There's nobody around.

J: And they don't have any way to communicate where they are, and they don't have any way for the people to find them. So, they have to survive in the frozen tundra wearing space suits that have sweat up to their ankles. It was just a crazy situation!

H: It does sound bad.

J: I would like to read you Alexei Leonov's memories of getting out of that space capsule in the middle of nowhere: 

 "We both squeezed out through the hatch, and sank up to our chins in snow. Looking up, we could see we were in the middle of a thick forest, a taiga of fir and birch."-

H: Oh, no!

J: -"I tried to determine our approximate location by measuring the sun's height above the horizon. But it soon disappeared behind the clouds. The sky grew darker and it started to snow, so we sought shelter back in the spacecraft. Fortunately, Pasha and I were used to harsh climates."

Now, Hank. I would like to call your attention to one particular adverb in this memoir and that adverb is "fortunately."

H: *laughs*

J; What I am saying, Hank, is that there is a kind of person-

H: Yeah

J: -who having poked a hole in his own space suit to be able to get back into the space capsule, landed far off course in the frozen, endless wilderness can begin a sentence with the word "fortunately."

H: Also that "fortunately" being the fact that they were both raised in harsh climate, in maybe one of the worst places at the time in the world.

J: Yeah, so what I am getting at, Hank, is that I need to put more "fortunately"s at the front of my sentences.

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H: Yes! yeah, that's a good–that's good practice, John. What do we learn?–I guess we learn that you can make the transition from being in a leaky spacesuit into being in a capsule that will deliver you safely to a place where you will eventually be rescued. But you do have to poke a hole in your spacesuit first.

J: Anyway Hank, all of that is just to say that I am a little stressed out, but–fortunately–it's time to answer questions from our listeners.

H: It also sounds a little bit to me that also like, you're writing an "Anthropocene Reviewed" about Alexei Leonov.

J: I'm not actually, although I could! I'm not opposed to it.

H: *laugh*

J: This first question comes from Girstman family who writes: "Dear John and Hank, do you put your mask on first, or your earbuds first?–"

H: Oh!

J: "–The Girstman family."

H: I never wear my earbuds when there are people around.

J: I'm a headphones person.

H: And I only wear my mask when there are people around.

J: Right, I do wear headphones when there are people around so that I won't hear them.

*both laugh*

H: I like to hear them!

J: Yeah, I don't turn on music or anything, I just turn on the noise cancelling part–

H: Oh, wow.

J: –and then just can't hear them very well.

H: Just the "mumble mumbles" of people around you.

J: Yeah. Yeah, it's very comforting. But I put on my mask first, because if I put on my–

H: Ugh,

J:  –my headphones first, then I can't put on my mask properly.

H: And also you'd have to get your headphones off, it would be hard to do without getting your mask off–which you don't wanna do, whereas you probably at some point do need to take your earbuds out, right? 'Cause if you're gonna talk to somebody,

J: Mm, I mean, I guess in an ideal world, when I go out with my headphones on, I hope to not take them off.

H: Right okay, I see what–I see where you're at. Yeah, I think that makes a lot of sense. One thing that I have noticed that's quite nice is putting my earbuds in, and then my mask on, and then my hat over the whole thing,

J: Yeah.

H: 'cause it's cold now. It's like, eight degrees outside.

J: Yeah.


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