Good morning, Hank. It's Tuesday. Today is the ninth day of Pizzamas, so to celebrate, today’s video comes to you in nine very special parts. That was part one, the intro.

Part Two: The unabashed Promotion of Saleable Goods. So there are only a few days left to order all your Pizzamas stuff from dftba.com. All these beautiful Pizza John shirts and the Pizza John PJs and everything else is only available ‘til the end of Pizzamas.

Part Three: Good News. So I don’t want to minimize or ignore the torrent of bad news currently washing over the world, but I did want to call your attention to one piece of extraordinarily good news that I think has gone under-reported.

It’s just been announced that global carbon emissions are expected to be nearly flat in 2016, marking the third straight year of no carbon emission growth. That’s really good news. Unfortunately, it’s not good enough news, because emissions are still far too high to limit post-industrial warming to below two degrees Celsius. But it’s important because it underscores that humanity can reach its other goals without increasing emissions. Like, the global economy grew by about 3% this year, and both poverty and disease burden were reduced.

Part Three [Part four! I'm so bad at parts]: Bad News. The UN has just reported that 2016 will almost certainly be the hottest year in recorded human history. And worrisomely, that record will likely only stand until 2017. Climate change is real, humans are causing it, and the people of the future will judge us on how we dealt with it.

Part Five: More Good News. AFC Wimbledon, the fan-owned English soccer team who wear DFTBA on their shorts, have had an astonishingly successful first season in the third tier of English football. Seventeen games into the season, they are just three points from a playoff spot, while the franchise currently playing in Milton Keynes is in the relegation zone. All of this is just further proof that we are living in the best sports timeline of the entire multiverse, and also the worst everything else timeline.

Part Six: Unabashed Promotion of Saleable Goods. While you’re over at dftba.com picking up this comfortable and fashionable Pizza John hoodie, why not buy an AFC Wimbledon Nerdfighteria scarf? All proceeds go to the club, and maybe if we sell enough scarves, they will make it back to the playoffs, and I will get to go to Wembley and feel like this again.

Part Seven: More Bad News. So Hank, one of my favorite songwriters, Leonard Cohen, died last week. He was everything I wanna be when I grow up: empathetic and smart without ever being condescending or cold, and he also gave me one the central ideas in my book Paper Towns. I’m gonna put a link to some of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs in the dooblydoo below for you to enjoy.

Part Eight: More Good News. Amid loss, there is still great art being made in the world. Quick side story, when I was fifteen, I wrote this extremely sincere and terrible paper for English about how there could never be another great work of fiction because Dostoevsky was dead. And then like four months later, we read Toni Morrison’s Song of Solomon, and Tony Kushner’s Angels in America, and I was like, “Oh... oh, okay. I would like to file a retraction.”

Anyway, twenty years later, Dostoevsky is still dead and there are still truly great books being written. Most recently I had been completely astonished by this book: What Is Not Yours Is Not Yours, but I’ll have many more book recommendations in my forthcoming holiday gift book roundup. In the meantime, if there are books that you would suggest to me, please do so in comments, thanks.

Part Nine: The Outro. So I think I’m gonna close out my part of Pizzamas on Thursday with an old-fashioned Question Tuesday, because, you know, what better day to do it? So please leave your questions, ideally brief ones in the comment section below. And I thought I’d leave you today with some of my favorite Leonard Cohen lines: Ring the bells that still can ring. Forget your perfect offering. There’s a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.

Endscreen! Oh look it’s that book that I liked and Pizzamas merch and a couple of my favorite Leonard Cohen songs and perhaps most importantly, a bunny from Rosianna. Self-Care Bunny is here to remind you to take care of yourself because there is only one of you, and the world is lucky to have you.