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Pizzamas! Get your Pizzamas!
In which John goes to Brazil to deliver a pizzamas zine and some stickers. Along the way, I contemplate the meaning of life and recall the time I met Kurt Vonnegut.

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I'm not sure I can show up on a stranger's doorstep with this mustache. I'm going to shave.

That's better. Good morning, Hank, it's Wednesday. It's the third day of Pizzamas. Let's go to Brazil...Indiana. Somebody in Brazil, Indiana, ordered some Pizzamas stuff, so I thought I would partially fill their order. And also, my book, "The Anthropocene Reviewed" comes out this week in Brazil and so, you know, I can't go there right now because of...gestures broadly, so I'm going to go to Brazil, Indiana to celebrate.

Brazil, Indiana is a small town just over an hour's drive away from my home in Indianapolis, which I suppose is a long way to go to deliver a Pizzamas zine and some stickers, but whatever, it's not like I have a packed social calendar. 

Here comes Brazil.

Okay, I have made it to Brazil, Indiana, but it turns out this person does not actually live in, like, downtown Brazil. They live fifteen minutes away, so I am now going to drive to their house and then come back to Brazil.

Now this is proper Indiana. It's just... it's just corn.

Okay, I'm on a dirt road and I'm not, like, brimming with confidence that Goodle Maps has nailed this one. I hope this person's home. Oh, yeah, somebody's coming out. Okay, hold on.

I'm an author, and a youtuber that I think she watches?

Well those people were lovely, and they have beautiful ducks and guinea fowl. Unfortunately, the person who actually ordered the Pizzamas stuff wasn't there; she's at work, and I feels like I should meet her. Like, it's weird to go to their house and drop the Pizzamas stuff off and not meet the actual person, so I'm just going to go to their work and hopefully be able to say hello. This is turning into, like, a little bit of a day of errands, which in some ways is my favorite kind of day.

Like, one time when I was in high school, I saw the novelist Kurt Vonnegut give a lecture. By the way, I'm back in downtown Brazil, Indiana. 

This is a replica of a famous Brazillian fountain that was given to the city of Brazil, Indiana by the nation of Brazil almost seventy years ago. And I just want everyone to know that it is lovely and well cared for.

But right, so I heard Kurt Vonnegut speak once, and mostly what I remember is that he kept smoking cigarettes inside the auditorium and the people at the university were like, "You can't smoke", and he was like, "Yeah, what are you going to do? You already paid me." But I also remember he did this bit about how most of adult life is just what he called "farting around". Like, you go to the post office, and then you take this thing to that person, and then you pay some bills, and so on. And at the time, I remember thinking, "No, life is joy, and love, and loss, and yearning, and pain, and hunger", and I still think that life is those things, but it's also farting around. 

But now I have a clear and unambiguous mission to my day, which is to say hello to this one person who ordered Pizzamas stuff. And if the Good Lord is willing and the creak don't rise, I am going to do it!

Okay, just four and a half hours into my journey, having visited Brazil twice, but it turned out I didn't actually need to go to Brazil, I have reached my destination and now I am hopefully going to meet this person who bought some Pizzamas merch.

I have met Betsy! So I decided to come to your work. Also, my wife is like, "They make the best bread in Indiana, so you have to buy some."

I'm back home. I did not have the day I thought I was going to have. Instead, I had a much better day. Betsy and her family are lovely, and it was so nice to be reminded that people can be so warm and generous. And the fountain in Brazil reminded me that such kindness and generosity can extend across vast expanses of time and distance. 

So yeah, it was just a day of farting around, the thing that high school me feared most about adulthood. But I loved it.

I find myself thinking about a different Vonnegut line: "I urge you", he once wrote, "to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim, or murmur, or think at some point, 'if this isn't nice, I don't know what is'." 

What a nice day I had. Happy Pizzamas. Hank, I'll see you on Friday. NO! Tomorrow!