Good morning John. There is a Roast Yourself challenge happening right now. I've got some lyrics. We're gonna do it--it's probably a bad idea.

(background auto-tune woman: Absolutely brilliant.)

Hank *rapping*: Yo. What's up? Hank Green. Here to roast myself like Ryan Higa said.

(very fast) Giving it all that I gotta give

*rapping*
I haven't even started
already feeling culturally appropriative
Here I am
sitting where I sit every Thursday morning
Yeah, Thursday
cause I'm careful. I'm normal. I'm boring.
I'm not gonna risk a punishment
I no longer have time for that
I keep adding to my list
cause I like getting hit with baseball bats

NAH
it's cause I like how it makes me feel
like I matter cause I'm doing things
even though it's not real
I want to be remembered!
but here's what's pretty clear:
someday there will be no humans left
to remember anybody was here!

I need approval from society
so I do what it expects of me
as a straight pale male I can do it quite expediently
I sit in front of books so that you know that I'm smart
and while my brother has natural puff
I use the stuff I got at Wal-Mart

The majority of my audience wants me to feel the Bern
But I'm too old for revolution
I just don't want to feel the Donald Trump, okay?

Spending money has always given me anxiety
I avoid cursing because my freedom is trumped by propriety
And I'll never be like Pewds on the cover of Variety
And having a notable brother doesn't convey notoriety

I keep talking about a book that I'm gonna write someday
But it's never gonna be TFIOS so why do I try anyway?
But I love Snapchat like a tween, so let's do that instead
Takin' cat snats with my Gilbahrt, doin' it straight from my bed

I'm 36 years old but I pretend to be a punk rocker
but as you probably heard I'm a nerd,
who sings mostly about Harry Potter.
And thanks to a teleprompter I get to pretend
that I know everything about the standard model, and philosophy,
but mostly I'm just reading

so I pay people to do the things and to help me create
It's capitalism, a system I support but my former self would hate
I pontificate like I'm an expert
but I'm really not that great.
And yes, if she asked?
I would be Hillary's running mate.

But she's not gonna. Cuz I'm a gangly white dude
RoASTIN' MYSELF ON YOUTUUUUUBBBE!

*rapping becomes crappier*
I may be a little old to be doing this stuff
Maybe a little less sillier in the future?

*stops rapping, but back beat continues*
Just chill it out a little bit? I...I..I feel like maybe focus on the educational stuff? Not the, like, the fun hip rapping challenges? That doesn't seem like a good idea. NAH!

Thanks for bearing with me on that one, ENTIRE WORLD. Not just the people who watched, EVERYONE. I APOLOGIZE.
I don't know why I was like "Hey! Let's do a song challenge! You don't have enough to do right now!" AAAHHHUUUUHHHAAAA

If you're wondering, Vidcon's coming up. I try not to talk too much about Vidcon because most people can't go, even though it's a really good time.

BUT! For the first time ever this year, thanks to a sponsorship from YouTube, we are going to be able to livestream significant portions of the event. So YAY!

People who can't go, at least know that's a thing, if you wanna check it out. Please do!

Thanks to Ryan Higa for injecting some silly into the YouTube community. We...take ourselves to seriously sometimes. No doubt about that.

Also, this is a thing we're doing now. It's a little tiny French llama vinyl toy. And I think it's cute!

We've never done toys like this before, it's seven dollars, and you can get it at dftba.com.

If there's a way for me to apologize for ever rapping..let me know in the comments.

John I'll see you on Tuesday. TUESDAY. NOT WEDNESDAY NEVER WEDNESDAY. TUESDAY. What the heck?