Good morning Hank, it's Monday. Kirkland brand Ted Lasso here to share with you the good news that it's Pizzamas.

That's right, it's the most magical time of the year. For the next two weeks, Hank and I will be making weekday-ly videos just like it was 2007 all over again, to celebrate pizza, and mustaches, and E-commerce. It's the tenth annual Pizzamas. What?! And today I will be doing an unboxing video to show you all of the amazing things that you can get at pizzamas.com only for the next two weeks. All of our proceeds go to support stronger healthcare systems in impoverished communities. It is hard to say anything serious with this mustache. 

I saw my neighbor this morning and I waved hello and they said, "Oh hi, J--ugh!"
 
Okay we have some limited edition stuff this year because we couldn't get that many made, so I'll start with that.

We have the Pizza John candle. I'd say that it smells as much like pizza as I would ever want a candle to smell.

We also have this massive....massive blanket. 
Oh, hello.
Also a blanket featuring the floral Pizza John. Those are both limited editions so don't wait.
As is Puzzle John, the 1,000 piece Pizza John jigsaw puzzle.

There's also a Pizza John ice tray, and a dice set. It's only a matter of time before somebody invents a Pizza John role playing game, where you have to battle demons and dragons while navigating the universe using only dice, your imagination, and a mustache. 
Lastly, we have this beautiful, limited edition tie-dye hoodie.

Alright, let's get to the t-shirts.

"live laugh pizza john".

Oh, this one is really cool and just a little bit goth. I love how I have a third eye that's pizza. Hank, the Pizzamas designs just get better and better.

We got a a nice long sleeve baseball jersey here.

Ah, one of my all-time favorite jokes: "Old Man Yells At Pizza".

Oh! This one is great! The Pizza John is coming out of the box as a smell.

Side note: I suddenly realised that after ten Pizzamases, there may be a level of inside joke-edness that is very difficult for new viewers to parse, but don't worry, I have the face that Pizza John is based on and I also don't get it.

Anyway, with that noted, here's a t-shirt available only for the next two weeks that imagines my heaven where pizza can be picked from the ground like flowers. 

Oh, wow! Wow! I mean, these are all, like, actual works of art! This is phenomenal!

Oh boy. "Sneezing is never normal, I never sneeze". This is truly a work of great and terrible beauty. You know, every time I catch a glimpse of myself, I think, "Ted Lasso's done a lot for mustaches, but nobody can do much for this mustache." I feel like with the soccer stuff on, I didn't look like Ted Lasso, but I maybe looked like a, you know, like a Fred Masso, but now...now I just don't look good. 

There's also a bunch of other stuff at pizzamas.com, including this tenth anniversary Pizza John patch. There's also Pizza John scratch-and-sniff stickers. If you read "The Anthropocene Reviewed", you know how I like scratch-and-sniff stickers.

And there's also a Pizza John pin subscription. You get this pin board and then over six months you fill it out with all your toppings.

Oh, and of course, how could I have forgotten, this beautiful Pizza John winter hat, just in time for all of your wintry needs.

AND (sorry I keep changing clothes, I'm just extremely excited), there is this wondrous tenth anniversary Pizza John Zine, where nerdfighters from all around the world attempted to draw Pizza John from memory. It's amazing! 

Every year, the folks at DFTBA and the designers in nerdfighteria just astonish me. I am astonished! How did this happen? How did something that Valerie designed all those years ago turn into...THIS? I don't know, but I am so, so grateful.

Again, pizzamas.com --only for the next two weeks , lots of limited edition stuff, all our profits go to charity, Hank, I will see you tomorrow.