I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, and this is Sexplanations, the YouTube channel.  In June, to celebrate our four year anniversary, we launched Sexplanations: The Podcast.  It's an unscripted show where I talk to all kinds of interesting people about past episodes of Sexplanations and the tangential topics that come from them.  I've had a lot of fun with it; I laugh, I think my guest hosts are amazing.  We recorded some video of the most recent episode so you can get a little taste and hopefully add it to your listening pleasures.

[Theme song: Don't be ashamed to know the things you need to know, here's Sexplanations, with Dr. Doe.]

Lindsey:Oh, is it legal to hump a dog?

Hank: *laughs* I mean, that depends on what you mean.

L: Just like, you going up to the dog from behind, grabbing it by the hips, and then humping it.

H: With your clothes on.

L: With your clothes on.

H: Yeah.  I guess.

L: Well I'm gonna find out.  Cause I think it needs to be a Sexplanations episode.

H: You're gonna find out...

L: If it's legal.

H: By like doing it in front of a cop?

L: No!  I mean, research.

H: I've been jizzed upon by a dog.

L: Daaamnn.

H: Like, it was like , rmm rmm rmm, and I was like, "Off of me!" and then I was like, "What is that?"  And then I realized.

L: Did you put it under a microscope?

H: ...I mean, no.  I did not, that was not my first thought.  I wasn't like, "Sco-"  I was at a party I wasn't like, "Scuse me guys, really great party.  Your dog jizzed on me and I gotta go I can't tell you why."

L: Do you know the story of the first microscope?

H: Uhh, no.

L: Okay.  Antonie Van Leeuwenhoek.

H: Yup, that's a familiar name.

L: Yup.  He invented the first microscope, and he supposedly did it with his research assistant, Johann Ham.  Kay, so they're in the lab, they wanna see if this thing works, right, like you and I so they're like, "Oh, okay what do we have access to."

H: Yeah, what are we looking at.

L: So they came up with spermatozoa and white blood cells.  Which means someone was like, "I'll cut my finger, and you masturbate."

H: That's probably pretty fascinating to be like, "What is in- what it this stuff!?"

L: Well, because I'm told that if you have an egg, nearby, that the sperm-you can mix 'em up, and they'll all go 'vrmm' and start swimming-

H: Like, point.

L: To the egg.

H: Well, getting and egg would be harder.

L: Yes.  I mean, I could work really hard to collect, though.  It's just finding it, in the collection.

H: Yeah, right. *Laughs*  Yeah, and one comes out every month, so you could just be collecting them that way, all you gotta do is a lot of searching.

L: Yeah...

H: A lot, a lot. Like, not possible.  The-

L: No, definitely possible.  Okay, you see how much water I have in my glass?

H: Yeah.

L: I would say it's that, especially for me, I have very light periods, but that's how much.

H: So about two shot glasses worth of, of...

L: Yeah.

H: Okay.

L: That's not that much to go through.

H: No, I mean, but I think it might be if you, if you're thinking about how bug an egg is, because it's about-now you're drinking the water and that made me a little uncomfortable.  Um, because the e-it's not about how, like if you have a needle in a haystack, if, you know, the haystack is much smaller, but the needle is also muh smaller it's just as hard.  So, you might, but I think that a human egg cell is pretty small.

L: It is but supposedly it's visible with the human eye.

H: Oh.

L: It's huge compared to sperm.

(cut to different clip)

L: How many presidents have masturbated in the Oval Office.

H: Oh, gosh, wow.

L: Every, single, one of them.

H: No, just, cause we know that, not everybody, not everybody's into it.

L: Yeah... but if you were the president, would you not make it a thing to masturbate in the Oval Office.

H: I mean, I feel like my answer here is definitely going to disqualify me from being president, so yes I would.  I don't know, I mean like I've never, jerked off at work.  And that feels kinda like, like you shouldn't, you probably shouldn't go there.

L: Yeah, no, I, work to me is different than the Oval Office.

H: Well I feel like that's the work!

L: There's one Oval Office.  There's lots of works.  Lots of like workplaces, right, this is not your first workplace, you're not christening it.

H: But do you like, I mean, how many of the presidents have had sex with their wives in the Oval Office, cause that I feel like would be very hard not to do.

L: Well what's the difference?

H: I don't know.  I think both are disrespectful to the room.

L: Oh, really?  Cause I, mine's like, of course you respect the room, by masturbating in it, like. *Laughes*

H: I don't know, I fell like definitely not... nobody has had sex in the Oval Office.  Definitely not nobody.

L: Right well this gets into the sex in space conversation, too.  Because if I went into space I would totally masturbate and I would try to have sex with, whatever.

H: *Laughs* I would fuck that station!  Just whatever's near by.

L: Because you're there!  It's like, you know?

H: I know.  I think that practically, it's not easy to have sex in space.  But I think that like, that's never gonna stop somebody.

L: No!

H: And also, that make it more interesting to talk about it, which makes it more frustrating that we're not talking about it.

L: I think we just need a millionaire listener, or billionaire listener, or, you know, call Bill Gates and say, you know, "Send Lindsey into space, and she will absolutely test every model available."  Doesn't that sound amazing!?


As you can see, we had a blast.  If you would like to listen to the whole podcast you can go to SexplatationsPodcast on SoundCloud, Apple Podcasts, or Google Play.  It's completely free, but if you'd like to support us you can go to patreon.com/sexplanationspodcast and get cool perks for supporting us.  Stay curious, and as I say on the podcast, ancora imparo: I'm still learning.