Good morning, Hank, its Monday.

I'm in an airport! Fancy that. I like balls.

I'm on my way to Munich, and I've been thinking about an opportunity you missed, presumably intentionally, in your--I'm trying to record a video! Hank, hold on for a sec, I have to go to Munich. And here I am!

Took me longer than it took you. I know what you're wondering, Hank. John, did you sleep on the plane?

I did not, so here it is, one day later but zero hours sleep...fortunately, my hotel has welcome body and hair shampoo! I washed my body and my hair with the same product. Welcome.

Also, Nerdfighters, do you live in Munich? Come see me later this week. And, if you live in London or Edinburgh, next month.

More info in the uh... I'm tired. I assume that 'Einfahrt' means bad.

Right. So what was I talking about? Balls.

Right. Balls. So, Hank, in your video on Friday you revealed that you have two fun balls from the Vidcon ball pit signed by Shane Dawson.

Which, as you pointed out in the video means that technically Shane Dawson has signed your balls. Now Hank, I realize that I'm stating the obvious here, but if you title that video 'Shane Dawson signed my balls' then you put up a high contrast thumbnail of Shane Dawson's face, that video is more or less guaranteed to get ten million balls. ... Views.

I meant views. Sorry, I'm very tired. Walk with me.

So anyway, your decision not to call that video 'Shane Dawson signed my balls' seemed to me almost heroic. Well, I don't want to blow it out of proportion the day after Nelson Mandella's 92nd birthday. Maybe heroic isn't quite the right word.

But the fact is that the prevailing belief on the internet, and in television, and in movies is that all views are good views. Now Hank, we don't exactly have the moral high ground on this subject given that our three viewed videos are, in order, giraffe sex, giraffe sex and...giraffe sex. But your bold choice not to call your Friday video 'My balls got signed by Shane Dawson' reminded me that while I like balls, we are not in the balls business.

We are in the Nerdfighting business. That's why I make videos, and why I write books, and why I'm in Munich, because I like doing awesome stuff with awesome people. And that's why my proudest day as a Nerdfighter came last week not when the Vlogbrothers hit 300,000 subscribers, but when the Nerdfighters came together with Esther and helped the Harry Potter Alliance win $250,000.

That's what our community does, and while there is a place in this world for liking balls and giraffe sex, that's our real work, Hank. Thanks for reminding me of that and Nerdfighters, thanks again for voting with Esther to win the Harry Potter Alliance $250,000. DAAAAH!

FRENCH THE LLAMA! Hank, I'm sure you'll let me know what my punishment is on Wednesday. --after fade to black-- Well that's certainly the hairiest Jesus I've ever seen...