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In which THAT WAS NOT A FOUL.
Our hard-working... That was not a foul. All I did was... Oh. Thank you for calling it on him.

Just... No. That was not a foul.

So, um, anyway... That was not a foul! I was just trying to give him a hug!

...like that. That's not a foul! I just gave him a little body hug! Come on. Let's see a replay. It's the Gaulden Child being, like, "Hey, I love you." Yes! Itwasu... What else could, what else could he do in that situation?

Our lives changed a lot financially and that, that allowed... Bald John Green, he's just a big person! That wasn't a foul, that's just a, something that happens when you're a big guy.

Are you really gonna, are you really gonna pull that back for a foul that wasn't even committed but if it had been committed was committed fourteen minutes ago?

What's wrong? I'm sorry, what's wrong? Who got... Oh, for what!? For having a bad haircut? It's not my fault! I got a better haircut but then it hasn't shown up in FIFA 15 yet. It showed up in FIFA 15 but you know, like, you can't change haircuts in this game.

So yeah. That said... Oh, what? 'Cause I kicked him a couple times in the ankles? I swear to God, you can't kick... Look. I kicked him once. Oh, and then I stepped on his shoulder, that's why!? I swear to God, you kick a guy once and step on his shoulder and suddenly you're an enemy of the state.

I was very resentful and I needed... That was not a foul! I hugged him from the side! Let's watch a replay. "I love you. I care about you." And then "Oh my God, he fell over." I was just trying to express affection.

That was not a foul. I was just trying to give him a hug! Are we just gonna ban affection from this game? Are we gonna say, like, this is no longer a game where men can express physically how they feel about other men?

There is always, like, the constant threat of... What? I hope you're just, that was not a foul. I hope you're not calling a foul there. That's literally ankle to ankle touches! He was just, Bald John Green was like "I don't know how to touch your ankles" and he tried to do it the best way he knew how. That came from a spirit of generosity, not a desire to hurt anybody.

To go... What!? All I did was give him a little bit of a hug from behind! Watch this. I was trying... How else can Francombstein say I love you?

Oh no! I just took him down from behind and somehow that wasn't a penalty. That is the only time I've ever felt in my heart that I actually did foul someone.