Lizzie: So a few days ago I told you about my mom, and because it's only fair, I'm going to give you the scoop on the rest of my family. Sounds cuh-raaaazy interesting, I know.

But this way, in a month, or more like a week, when I'm all
"Ugh, Lydia's being a stupid whore-y slut again!" and all you lovely viewers are like "Um, who's Lydia?" I can be all, "Hey, just go watch the second video I posted." Bam! Confusion over. Well, not yet. Now I've probably just confused you more, but we will get there.

My name is Lizzie Bennet and these are my sisters.

[Intro plays]

So I'm Lizzie, or Elizabeth if you're my mother and I did something to piss you off. I like rain, classic novels, and any movie starring Colin Firth. I'm in grad school studying Mass Communications, so I read a lot, I write a lot, and especially at this moment, talk a lot.

So that's me.

But wait! I'm not the only Bennet. I'm, in fact, one of three sisters, and I'm smack dab in the middle. That's right, I'm the dreaded middle child! Doomed to a life of drug addiction, irresolute drinking, and out-of-wedlock pregnancy!

But that thorny path is perhaps better suited to my youngest sister, who you've already met.

(Lydia: Jackpot, right? Whaaaat!

Lizzie: No.)

Lizzie: Lydia. We're all very proud she's now too old to be on any reality shows about having babies in high school. Seriously. She's like a puppy. A cute, adorable, humps-the-neighbor's-leg, never-know-where-she-sleeps-puppy. Yeah, she chews your slippers and marks her territory all over town, but you still love her.

And then there's the eldest Bennet sister, Jane. "practically perfect in every way."

Jane: Hey, did you say my name?

Lizzie: Including practically perfect hearing. No, we're just shooting a video.

Jane: Oh. Oh, I'm sorry.

Lizzie: No wait, come here. I was introducing you anyway, so just sit.

Jane: Do I have to know lines?

Lizzie: No! No. This is all completely improvised.

Jane: Oh gosh.

Lizzie: Internet, meet my sister, Jane. You look tired. Good day at work?

Jane: Yeah, yeah. I'm just really exhausted. They had me running around and ordering fabrics all day, and sorting them, and making phone calls, then I think I made ten pots of coffee and I drank probably a lot of cups of those. (laughter)

Lizzie: They work you so hard, I wish they paid you more.

Jane: Yeah. But that's the price of the industry, so. Okay. Alright, bye. Oh my gosh! I almost forgot, I fixed this for you during break, so be careful next time with those buttons but, you know, I'll fix this, so. Alright, bye.

Lizzie: Thank you.

Jane: Bye.

Lizzie: Seriously, she's the sweetest person you'll ever meet. It frustrates our mom to no end that Jane hasn't snatched up a husband yet. She's doing so much more with her life than prancing around as some trophy wife. We're super close. She's pretty much my best friend.

Charlotte: (clears throat)

Lizzie: Which brings me to my realest, most amazing, super fantastic best friend, Charlotte! She's totally my best friend. Did I mention you're totally my best friend?

Charlotte: Nice try.

Lizzie: Charlotte and I have been friends basically since we were fetuses. Feti?

Charlotte: Fetuses. Our mothers were bridge partners when they were pregnant with us.

Lizzie: And they went into labor within like ten minutes of each other at the same book club meeting. And what were they reading?

Charlotte: Sense & Sensibility.

Lizzie: So it's pretty much destiny. We've been inseparable ever since. Charlotte is as constant in my life as my sisters.

Charlotte: And I always will be.

Lizzie: Especially now, because she's shooting and editing these video diaries, fulfilling her need to have total control over our friendship.

Charlotte: Says the girl who cried through my entire birthday party until I gave her one of my presents to open.

Lizzie: I was six!

Charlotte: And a total brat.

Lizzie: So that is all for today! Don't forget to tune in next time, as I'm sure there will be more mama drama in the mystery of Which Bennet Sister Will Mom Throw At The New Neighbor Next?

Charlotte: Dun dun dun!

Lizzie: Peace!

Charlotte: You need a better sign off, something that sticks with your audience but isn't so incredibly lame.

Lizzie: Get your own video blog!

[Outro plays]