Hank, we had this big conversation about how you weren't going to get me anything for my birthday because I didn't get you anything for your birthday and then what should show up at our office but Nerdfighters - the actual original video game!

[playing the game] I'm a very happy person right now. Thank you. I'd like to announce my retirement from writing and the fact that I'm going to became a fullt- aww, I may not be able to become a full time Aero Fighters player because as soon as I announced my retirement, I lost. 

So Hank, good news and bad news. The bad news is that I am now hundreds of miles away from the amazing birthday present you got me. [stuttering] The good news is that I'm back in Pittsburgh on the set of the TFIOS movie. 

So I always thought that, when they made movies, by the way this is Ben Richardson, the cinematographer of the movie, I always thought when they made movies and there's like 7 different angles in a shot, um, that it was 7 different cameras, you know? But it turns out that it's just one very expensive camera 7 different times. 

Ben: Exactly. This was one of the great delights of my life was trying to explain this principle to my Mum. The tricky thing is, if we had another camera right now, for the shots that we just got, the cameras would be right there in front of the car...

John: Yeah, of course! No, I realize that now, Ben. 

John: There's Deb, she does the "chk" ACTION! One of the weird rules in making the movie, is we're actually not allowed to do anything until Deb hits the slate. Like, I can't eat until...

Deb: A Marker.

John: And if I want to go to the bathroom...

Deb: Marker. 

John: By the way, I was just like, "Why do all the cars have Indiana license plates?" and then I remembered, because of the movie!

So Hank, I always thought that making movies was super glamorous, but it turns out that it's mostly just a construction site; however, there is one very glamorous facet to the movie-making process. I am referring, of course, to the port-a-potties. I mean Hank, I've had apartments smaller than this port-a-potty. It has both a toilet and a urinal. It also smells great in here by the way; it smells like angels and stardust. I am serious, this is a fancy port-a-potty. 

Also, there's free food, including Atomic Fireballs, did you see that, Josh?

Josh: I did. Should we have Nat... [drops candy] Cut! Should we have Nat eat this right before he kisses Monica for the first time?

John: I'm here with, uh, Isaac and Alex. Isaac [camera points to Isaac] and Alex [camera points to Alex] and they were just saying that I should, uh, I should just stand in for Ansel. I am Gus. 

Alex: I mean, he looks older than you actually. 

Isaac: It's like the Olsen twins.

John: But of course most of my time on set is still spent watching and listening, although now with Nat Wolff making trouble in the background. [Nat mouths I Love You] Oh Nat, I love you too. 

So Hank, one of my favorite things about the movie so far is that they cast real teen cancer survivors for the support group - they're waving to you right now in fact - and I want to thank all of them for being part of the movie and also for sharing their experiences with us. It's just been awesome to hang out with them.

Mind if I send this to TMZ?

Shailene: [On Phone] Hello? Oh hey Sarah, what's up?

John: Can I tell you what's funniest about that? I turned the camera away when you answered the phone because you're such a good actress, that I thought you were really on the phone. That's just pure talent.

I'm here with Ansel Elgort [Ansel sticks his tongue out], who's playing Gus in The Fault in our Stars movie and has a blue tongue. We're gonna do like a quick Question Tuesday and then people can submit questions and maybe we'll do another Question Tuesday in the future with real questions. But the question I get the most often is "Have you read the book?"

Ansel: Yeah. I read it. [They both laugh]

John: Did you? What'd you think?

Ansel: It was alright.

John: It was a little... it was long in places

Ansel: I did, I loved it, I loved i, I loved it.

John: And then... I think we're about to get hit by a car. Nightmare scenario. What's your last memory? Ansel Elgort's beautiful hand on my shoulder!

[To Shailene who is fake interviewing John] Did you read the book?

Shailene: Yes.

John: People ask me that all the time though, like they think you haven't read the book. 

Shailene: I have read the book. I've read the book multiple times. It's definitely one of my favorite books meaning that its kind of my second favorite. Not my second favorite... it's in my top two favorite books ever...

John: Behind?

Shailene: I have to say that I really love 1984.

John: We've got to go apparently because somebody's about to make out. It's not me. But I'll see you on Friday. Ansel, can you say I'll see you on Friday.

Ansel: See you on Friday Hank!

Shailene (Sings): Hasta luego Amigo.