Good morning, Hank, it's Thursday!
Today we're gonna learn how to make fairly good roasted potatoes despite the gnawing feeling that the universe and everything in it is absolutely apathetic to you.

This recipe comes from my digital cookbook, the new version of which is available only during this year's Project For Awesome at projectforawesome.com/donate.

Okay, so some people cook because they love it or because they have extremely sophisticated palates and find delight in perfectly balanced flavor combinations... I cook because I am hungry.

While we wash the potatoes, it's worth considering that the kinds of food you crave are dictated partly by your cells and partly by the bacterial cells inside of your gut. Like, studies have shown that people with certain gut microbiomes are more likely to crave refined carbohydrates, while people with other microbiomes might crave other foods, so you should remember that when cooking, you're not just making food for you, you're also making food for the trillions of microorganisms that colonize you and influence your every thought, feeling and experience, even though they are not, in the narrowest sense, you. Alright, let's make some potatoes.

You want enough potatoes that they will sustain the sack of flesh that contains your soul for several hours, and ideally you want these little red potatoes, which you then cut into sixths or eighths if they're too big. Don't overthink the size of your potato wedges, but also don't underthink it. This is the key not just for cooking, but also for most things. Spread those potatoes on a greased baking pan. 

Oh, no! You forgot to preheat the oven to 350 degrees, do that - or 375 if you want to take a risk and have fun. Now drizzle olive oil all over the potatoes and then sprinkle them with salt and pepper. Some people like to add garlic salt here, which is fine, I'm not gonna judge - I mean, we're making a meal, not a spaceship.

Next, wash your hands and consider if you have any herbs. Rosemary is ideal here, thyme is also good. Oregano? I don't know, maybe if you're feelin' it. Now sprinkle some herbs on top of those potatoes and mix it all together.

Don't be afraid to get a little dirty - there's not enough joy in the world, so take the time to really feel a deep sense of kinship with these potatoes. These fellas were in the ground not long ago, growing in the soft dirt of Nebraska or Idaho or some place you've never visited except to drive through.

Alright, that's enough, now put them in the oven for 15 minutes.

While you wait, read two paragraphs of a New Yorker piece about King Tut, but then start wondering whether King Tut died of tuberculosis, a question which can only be answered by your phone, where you learn that it turns out he might have died of a fractured femur. Anyway, since your phone is already out, you might as well check your e-mail and then... You know what, just one TikTok, and now, suddenly, the timer is beeping and literally where did the time go?

Alright, now it's time to flip the potatoes. I like to do this by hand because I don't have a lot of adventure in my life and this really gets the blood flowing, but you can also use a spatula.

While you're flipping, let a random TikTok play over and over again because there's some weird comfort in the loop of it, in another human voice in the room with you saying the same thing over and over and over.

At this point, you'll want to think about how incredibly weird it is to be a human, like, you're a mammal eating the storage organ of nightshade plants in order to sustain your own departure from chemical equilibrium while listening to a repeating TikTok. Don't think about this too much, though, or else you'll forget that the pan is still very hot and not use appropriate protective mitts.

Now put the potatoes back in the oven for another 15 minutes and then take them out and debate whether they are done. If you're a risk averse person like me, leave them a little undercooked, but if you want to peer out over the edge of a great height, then put them back in the oven and try to time it perfectly so that the potatoes are browned but not burnt. Then pull them out probably a couple minutes too late and let them cool before enjoying.

Hank, the fundraiser for the Project For Awesome is live now, you can get great perks at projectforawesome.com/donate, the livestream starts at noon tomorrow, I will see you then!