Lydia: Hey everybody! Now I know what you're thinking. "Hey Lydia, where's your much older, much more depressing sister, Lizzie?"

Who cares?! [laughs]

I've got stuff on Charlotte, she's got the camera, she and Lizzie have finals, and you've got the LYD-DEE-YAHHHHH!

Take a minute, enjoy the awesome . . . and the adorbs! My name is Lydia Bennet and this is my haul!

. . . whaaattt???

[Intro plays]

Lydia: Okay, now that Lizzie has stopped watching because she's completely disgusted at my "blatant consumerism" in the midst of our "financial difficulties," let's get down to the real issue.

Weird ploys with red gelatin are not going to get the job done for Jane and Bing. Or as I like to call them: "Jing!"

Jane and Lizzie are too worried about "propriety," and "letting things take their own time," and "not overusing air quotes!"

To get anything done at all, this is the type of situation that Lydia's Laws were made for. And what's Lydia's Law number one? Nothing gets done without alcohol! Talk about your truth universally acknowledged, am I right? 

What? I've got a t-shirt too. And I made mine awesome! 

And what's the best way to get alcohol? At a party. And who has already promised to host a party? Bing Lee. Yeah I know he was drunk at a bar at the time, but the point is, he promised. And THE Lydia Bennet never forgets a promise.

How do you think I got a pony when I was 10? 

Lydia as Mr. Bennet: Sure, Peanut, if the largest energy company in the world files for bankruptcy, then you can have a pony.

Lydia: Hello, Mr. Wuffles. Okay, so this is how it went down with Bing Lee the other day.

[door opens]

Jane: Oh, Lydia. Hmm, are you making a video?

Lydia: No, I'm just sitting here talking to camera for no reason. Duh, of course I am! Come join me!

Jane: Does Lizzie know about this?

Lydia: Sh-sh-she, ummmm . . .

Jane: Lydia Brittany Bennet, do not lie to me.

Lydia: Lizzie said she was too busy to make a video this week. I'm just helpin' her out. Besides, she was totally getting stale.

Jane: No need to get snippy, that is not nice.

Lydia: Tell that to Lizzie. Oh! Idea! You can help me with this!

Jane: What? Why? No, no . . .

Lydia: Oh, Mr. Bing Lee, what a surprise to meet you here outside your lovely and large new home.

Jane: No, that's not really a surprise.

Lydia: Never say "no" in an improv. You aren't allowed to deny your partner's reality. I read it online.

Jane as Bing: Okay, I guess it is a surprise! What brings you here?

Lydia: I was thinking, do you know what big houses are good for?

Jane: Sock slides?

Lydia: So true.

Jane: Hey, the living room's clear right now, do you want to go do some?

Lydia: Our living room? Yes! No! Focus, Lydia, focus. [clears throat] Why, yes, Bing, I would like that. But do you know what big houses are good for besides sock slides?

Jane: I-I-I don't know what you want me to say right here.

Lydia: Parties! And didn't you say you were gonna to host a party? Oh, you should do that. Like soon, really soon.

Jane: Lydia he was totally buzzed, do not hold him to that.

Lydia: Remember Mr. Wuffles?

Jane: I gotta go.

Lydia: Poor Mr. Wuffles, he died so young. But I did get a cat. I named her "Kitty." She follows me around everywhere, and now you can follow her cuz she's on Twitter!

But, back to Jane. It is time to bring on the aircraft carrier, cuz it is "Mission Accomplished, bitches!"

Bing will host a party . . . he and Jane will get drunk . . . drunken hookup, marriage, Eff-Tee-Dubs! That means "for the win."

Until next time, this is the LYD-DEE-YAHH giving you the real story. [blows kiss]

[Outro plays]

Lydia: Ooh, tell all your friends to watch this video so it will have way more views than Lizzie's. It'll drive her totes cray.