Good morning John, it's Wednesday and I have got a lot of weird to share with you today.

Just to start this on I want to say that I completely agree with you:

(Wearing a fake mustache) We require more vespene gas.

Some of the best things in the world are done simply because they're the best things in the world. Things like LOLCats and 4chan and - not to be too modest - Nerdfighters.

(Wearing false teeth) I can't say anything with this thing in my mouth.

These things were not created for money, they were not created for fame or power, they were created with the goal of awesome in mind.

(Wearing a mask) Just like the Gary Busey family portrait; just like this picture of Mount Rushmore from behind! The world is a better place because people just like awesome.

(Wearing bunny ears) That just really excites me, that there are so many people in the world who are just inspired to be awesome by awesome.

You know, there's a lot of reasons to do stuff.

(Wearing a hat) That is a boss Zefron poster. Rock on.

You could do it to become famous, you could do it because you believe in something.

(Wearing a hat) And of course you could do it to try and make money.

But the only real reason to do something is because it makes you excited. Because you love that thing. Like the way I love makin' videos.

(Unwinding duct tape, then wearing a beak) And I'm not even excited yet.

(Waving a plastic glove) The way that I can go to a party store and pay nine bucks for a set of clown hands, because I want to say Hey! (throws glove at the camera) Surprise, clown hand!

The way I can just put duct tape on my face (puts duct tape over his mouth). Mmm mmmm mmm m mmm yoooowwwwwww. For you, 'cause I like it! The part where my mouth got really big was really cool, I wanna do it again. Aside from the pain, it's a really unique experience. (Puts duct tape on mouth. Wears beak and plays recorder. Puts duct tape on mouth.) Ahahahah. Ohhhh that wasn't too bad, I was sweating a little bit underneath so it loosened it up, but still - stingy. Anybody want this? It's got my sweat on it.

(Wearing a beak) Let's be honest. Right now, your life is a little bit better than it was before I put the toucan nose on. (Moves the beak to his forehead) And now your life is just a little bit better than it was than when I was wearing the toucan nose as a nose and not as a horn.

I wanna be making your lives better.

(Wearing bunny ear) Well, and let me tell you, that squirrel did not enjoy my presence in his dance club.

Because you are making my life better. Let me tell you something else. I have people to give me weird things to say in a video on twitter and you have been hearing those all throughout the video.

(Wearing a mustache) I am the best crab fisherman that ever lived. What are you going to do about it?

I now am the instigator of one of the world's largest databases of random sentences. That may not actually be true, but maybe it is. Maybe it is!

(Breathes heavily while wearing mask then lifts it up) It's really steamy in there.

(Wearing a hat) I'm gonna put this little cowboy hat on again, I think it was my favorite thing so far. (Dances) Chris Crocker is so pretty.

(Wearing the hat and both clown gloves) Creating things because you think they're awesome is always a good thing to do for your future. That is undeniable because if you think they're awesome, then other people are gonna think they're awesome too. Especially if you are like the majority of people. Which, you know, you might not be, but look, neither am I, and I think this is awesome? Maybe you do too. Most people aren't gonna think this is awesome; they're gonna think it's dumb. (Pulls off one glove) My hands are getting really sweaty, ugh. (Pulls off the other) Ugh. Summertime is not the time for clown gloves. There's nothing wrong with doing stuff just because it's awesome. In fact, there's everything right with doing stuff just because it's awesome. So let's keep it up. Cause it's working.

(Wearing false teeth) I can't say anything with this thing in my mouth. It kind of makes me want to puke a little bit. Don't buy these. These suck, they just make you salivate and they fall out of your mouth. That's all they do. Mmm umm.

(Holding false teeth) And now, these are... wet.