Good morning, John.

So, remember a couple of year ago when I had a baby?  Awwwww. Great.

I was really excited because I got to officially tell dad jokes as a real live dad!  And now, something amazing has happened.  And, uh, Orin, now two years old, barely, and he is now telling… jokes?! 

I have to share them.  Like, my dad jokes video had a lot of jokes in it, unfortunately Orin has not told that many jokes.  He has told four.  And so, I would like to share with you every joke my two year-old has ever told in order.

Let’s start with his very first joke, it went something like this: “Mama, dada… mamdaaah ehehehe.”

Imagine that but on a two year old, it was a little weird. 

And the weird thing is that, like, I also think that’s funny, and I feel like I think it’s funny for the same reason he does…?  Which is very weird considering that he only recently started, like, existing.  

Joke #2 went a little something like this: Blue.  Baby.  (laughs) 

So upon realizing that one word could modify another word, he's getting a grip on adjectives, he starts to apply adjectives to things that those adjectives don't apply to and he thinks that's very funny.

This was followed by others in the genre that I consider basically the same joke, so not separate jokes like "Blue moon" and also "Police bus" which is, you know, he doesn't know this, but like, blue moons do exist for us like as a metaphorical thing and police buses exist also, literally.  

Joke #3, they're coming faster now, John.  This was very recently.  He pointed to his, we put some corduroy pants on him, and he pointed to his pants and he said "Papa pants."  Papa being his grandfather, our dad, who, yes, wears lots of corduroy pants, so as far as I can tell, Orin is now making fun of our dad's fashion advice, which as far as I'm concerned, top notch.

And finally, also earlier this week, I'm looking at pictures with Orin of himself.  He's looking at pictures of himself and I say, who's that?  And he says "Baby" which is often what he says, and I say, "But which baby is it?" and he says, "Coconut".  

Which, everybody agreed, was a very good joke.

John, it's Black Friday.  It's the day in America in which we realize that there are no holidays left until Christmas and thus, we all have to be saddled with the collective burden of being societally responsible for the acquisition and giving of items to people that we love, which is stressful.  

It is also the time at which retailers offer outrageous savings and deals and etc, and when Cards Against Humanity does this!  I don't know what it is, I recorded this last night, so I don't know, but it's something weird, but maybe we can make your Black Friday shopping easier.  

I'll start out with this book of poetry that a bunch of Nerdfighters worked on together to create.  All proceeds will go to the Foundation to Decrease Worldsuck, but also this Friday and through the weekend, DFTBA.com isn't just celebrating Black Friday, we're celebrating 10 years of being a company with free shipping for every order $50 and over.  So if you want something from the McElroy brothers or the Gregory brothers or the Green brothers, I think that's all the brothers, or Sl1pg8r or Lindsey Ellis, The Valleyfolk, tons of other creators, come on by.  

The first 1000 items bought on Black Friday and on will get this token of our appreciation, like a challenge coin thing that says "Don't forget to be awesome" on it. 

Also, PodCon is having a special today and this weekend for people who wanna buy tickets as gifts.  Tickets aren't discounted but you will get an I Like Podcasts pin delivered to you in the mail before Christmas as long as you live in the US. 

DFTBA is also stopping the sock club and the pin club and instead we have a new thing: the Flair Club.  A quarterly box that increases the amount of stuff you get per thing and decreases how much we're paying for shipping.  It's $30 a quarter and we're stuffing each one full of a bunch of surprise goodness.  You can check out what's in the first box at DFTBA.com right now, and also, right after I upload this video, I'm going over to the DFTBA warehouse to do a livestream on hankschannel while we're packing up your packages, so come on over if you wanna hang out there.

John, I'll see you on Tuesday.