Good morning Hank it's Monday. This giant squid of anger is reading my collected works.You'll never guess what came in the mail today...unless you guessed it's the Fault in our Stars!

This is the real book, one of the few unsigned copies actually.On the back it has quotes from Markus Zusak, and Jodi Picoult and E. Lockhart. Markus Zusak says, "The Fault in our Stars is John Green at his best. You laugh, you cry and then you come back for more." Thank you Markus Zusak. More importantly, thank you for writing the Book Thief. That was nice of you. It's the real book Hank, it has all the pages in it and everything.

So Hank you know about Gaiman's law. Gaiman's law, invented by Neil Gaiman, holds that if an author opens a book he or she wrote, he or she will inevitably come across a typo. Of course Gaiman's law holds again. I think the only typo in the entire book is in the author's note. But I found it, immediately. Anyway Hank, that reminded me that typos are among my fields of expertise so I thought I would share with you my top 5 typos of all time. It smells so good.

Number 5, the Pasta Bible. Hank, this is a totally normal book about pasta except that it contains a typo so horrific that the publisher found every copy it could, and destroyed them. There was a recipe for tagliatelle that called for salt and ground black people. They meant pepper. They, they wrote people.

Number 4, the entire name Imogene. The name Imogene comes from the Shakespeare play, Cymbeline and it's probably a transcription error. Shakespeare probably meant Innogen which was a name at the time. But when they wrote it down those N's got really close together and became an M and BAM! We have Imogene Heap, whose name was based on a typo.

Number 3, and I'm cheating because this is not from a book, it's from a newspaper, but it's my favorite headline ever. From the Washington Post, "FDR in bed with co-ed." Cold, they meant cold, but they wrote co-ed. FDR was so delighted about this that he asked for a hundred copies but sadly they had already been pulped. This is particularly funny because Franklin Delano Roosevelt did have a lot of affairs, although never with a co-ed. But you know, this was back in the days when newspapers reported news.

Number 2, the United States Constitution. Article 1, Section 10 Hank, "No state shall, without the consent of Congress, lay any imposts or duties on imports or exports except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's, IT'S inspection laws." Hank when you write it's, if you are contracting it is, yes. If you are not contracting it is then no. I mean seriously hank Amendment 28 should be "We acknowledge that earlier in this very constitution we screwed up it's and its and we are sorry".

And Number 1, the Bible. So Hank in 1631 two printers were tasked with making a new King James Bible and they did a great job except when they were doing the seventh commandment, they forgot a 'not'. So their Bible said, "Thou shalt commit adultery.," As you can imagine Hank this didn't go over particularly well. The Archbishop of Canterbury said, "I knew the time when great care was had about a printing, Bibles especially." So there you go Hank, people have been declaring the decline of good proof reading for 5 centuries and the guys who made the mistake were fined as were the guys who made the 1716 version of the King James Bible in which Jesus encourages an adulterous woman,"Go and sin on more." It must be "Go and sin no more."

So Hank that's my list which I pretty much I created solely so that I could say, you know,forgive me for any mistakes. If you want to pre-order your signed copy of the Fault in our Stars there are links in the doobly-doo to do so. Hank, I'll see you on Wednesday.