Lindsey: [laughing] Okay. Are we gonna do this? Making a video with my cell phone from the couch, because that's the kind of day it is. [camera pans to dog] What do you think? [back to L] This video is sponsored by adamandeve.com; they have been an amazing sponsor for me since almost the beginning of this channel and are continuing to do so. Thank you so much for being a part of sex educating the universe. Go to adamandeve.com, get 50% off one item and free shipping in the US and Canada with code "DOE," some exclusions may apply.

So, what I'm thinking is there's all this time that's about to happen where people are getting together with their relatives, and I think that it would be really great if we all had conversations with those family members about sexuality: that could mean your chosen family, that could mean your blood or by-marriage or by law or love family - it doesn't matter. Just the people that you're going to hang out with, because at lease in the United States of America and many places around the world, we're entering into this season of holidays and get-togethers, and why not mix in some, "Hey, how was your sex education? When was your first crush?" So, this is a collection of questions that I've come up with which I don't think are offensive that are going to be great conversation starters, and we'll hopefully gather so much information which you can share with me in the comments if you want to.

First on my list, which I've already mentioned is "Who was your first crush." The reason I bring this up is because I had a relative talking to me about how they don't think that sexuality should be taught in schools and especially not homosexuality. [short pause] Feeling like this is my profession and I should be able to take on the most difficult conversations and educate, I asked this person when he had his first crush, and he told me. And I think that that realization of when those feelings first came about was an opener for a conversation about how sex education is important for navigating those feelings, for understanding what's going on with your body, and attraction, and what to do about it, and consent. And the same way that he could not control having a crush on a girl, I explained that other people can't control having a crush on somebody of the same sex or gender. [vocalization] Aah!

Quick note - I don't want to say that it is wise to engage in conversations of that kind with everyone, nor does it necessarily mean it will play out like that; you can't always reason with people. But. Asking someone who their first crush is can get all sorts of other information. How old was the person when they started experiencing feelings of that kind? Was it a celebrity or a classmate? Are they going to admit it? Is it the person that they ended up spending the rest of their life with or someone that they haven't thought about in a really long time? And then, you could look them up together online? [laughs, giggles]

Let's go back to the sex education. So, "What was your sex education like?" Did they get it from school or were they taken out of class? Do they even remember? Did they learn it from neighborhood kids or their guardians? Such fascinating information. I think I need to interview a bunch of relatives. Or not even my-, like, other people, and just find out what their sex education was like. I've done that. [thumbnails of other videos flash by accompanied by bell sounds] [chuckles] Oh, Lindsey, you've done almost all of it. Just kidding, there's so much I haven't talked about. Yet. Am I going to get through this list? I'm just going to read it off of my computer.

"When did your family first talk to you about sex?" I think some people's families don't even talk to them at all about sex. Can you imagine that? You could ask the elders of your family when they first learned what sex was. Tell me if I'm wrong; maybe I'm just in a rosy-colored world, but are there people who would get offended by this question? Would they say, "It's none of your business?" Would they say - I don't know - did they learn it from the goats on the farm?

Then a related question, "Where were you told babies came from?" "How did you learn about menstruation?" I was working a job in college with a lot of older women, and they told me pads - menstruation/sanitary napkins, whatever they were called - were a really thick kind of mattress that got clipped in to your underwear or held up. I'm SO grateful for the alternatives now.

"What were pregnancy tests like when you were younger? Or when you had to take them?" Something about frog urine and rabbits. "Did you know anyone who used birth control when it was illegal?" There are people in my family who are alive and went through that era, and I haven't asked them that question! Do I need to Ohio for some of these conversations? "What was it like when the birth control pills were introduced?" "Did you know any homosexuals-" this is not the way I want to phrase the question; maybe you, like the person you're talking to is homosexual or asexual or bisexual or pansexual or agender, bigender, etc.

I'm thinking about my own family structure and how there are people who cannot acknowledge that homosexuality is an identity that someone would have; it's almost like a choice and a sin. And so, I would love to ask those people if they know someone who identifies as homosexual - who IS homosexual - and what that relationship is with them. Do they respect that person, do they trust that person to make decisions for themselves and to know who they are. And then, can they apply that to their sexual orientation as well. Why don't they.

"What sex advice would you give me?" Asking my mom what sex advice she would give me feels like such a precious conversation, because since I have been a sexually active person, I have been giving sexual advice to most people in my life, and so, to receive that from an elder in my community and someone who shares similar hormones, genetics, sex drive, etc., what a beautiful conversation. Do I get to have that conversation? If I do, I hope I get to record it. "When did your sex drive peak?" Do my family members and I have similar sex drives? Maybe there are patterns that I could recognize, which is data, which if we collect it, all of us, we could learn things!

"Do you have a celebrity crush now?" I would love to be sitting around a table eating mashed potatoes and you know how you go around and say what you're thankful for? I would also like to go around and hear who everybody's celebrity crush is. And if you're a celebrity, I know that this is strange because what it's doing is kind of sexualizing or romanticizing an actual human being; that's not really what I'm going for, but I do think that it could be a helpful conversation starter. Let me know if the comments if you have a way of talking about the fact that having a celebrity crush is a natural phenomenon without sexualizing celebrities.

Then, I just typed the word "circumcision" because I think that there are all sorts of questions that can go on around this. Like, "What were you told about circumcision, how did you come to that decision, did it just happen, how much did it cost?" And I think we could also ask for consent on a lot of this to say, "Oh my gosh, I'm so curious about some things related to sexuality, can I ask you questions about it and your experiences?" And if they say "no," then, I mean, that was a question in itself that gives so much information.

I started thinking about the younger generations, so I said, "Do you know how to use a condom?" It's not just like, "Can you do this," but "Can you actually do it?" And I'd probably do something like put it on my arm or demonstrate myself first so that it's not so intimidating or the pressure isn't there if they don't actually know. Gauge that and whether it's not appropriate.

I put, "Do you have sed ed in school this year?" is something to talk about. Hm, interesting. And then they'll either share or they won't. You could ask them if they know about Sexplanations.

This is the one I ended on which is, "Do you have any regrets about your sex life?" What it's doing is trying to get to the vulnerability and the real connection, but it's also a hard question to produce because even asking someone if they have any regrets about their life is heavy.

How would I answer that for myself, do I have any regrets about my sex life... I think I try to take my regrets and turn them in to curiosities. Like, I'm curious how different my life would be if I had had more partners when I was younger. I think that I wouldn't attach so quickly to people and believe that dating leads to marriage and there was more exploration, getting to know people, making decisions based on data and not just because they're the person in my life. But I think that there is something to be gained from all different kinds of experiences. I'm not done learning! I'm gonna stay curious!

[extra footage while credits roll, camera pans to dog] Hello. How was your sex life? Was it hard? Yeah. [back to L] We're just winging it! Do you think that dogs which don't ever have sex miss out. Mmhmm?

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