Hello and welcome to HankGames without Hank. I am John Green, the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Womblys who are playing at Wembley.

(Singing) Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be. We're gonna win at Wembley. Que sera, sera.

Today we're taking on Charlton Athletic in the League 1 playoff final. The winner goes to the Championship. The loser has to go stay in League 1 and play the likes of MK Scum again.

(Talking to Meredith) Do you know, Meredith, that we might just have played our last game against the team that, uh, did not exist before they, uh, stole themselves from us? Um, it a--by the way after the game, did you hear the supporters all, all singing, uh, (singing) "You're not going to Wembley. You're not going to Wembley. You're not going, you're not going, you're not going to Wembley."

But we are. We're at Wembley, Wembley Stadium. 90,000 people, many of them, many of them long-time Dons here to support their team--the club they love so much. Um, as you can see there's more red in the stadium than there is blue, but there's a lot of blue. Uh, today we're starting the exact same team that we started, um, in the last game. Oh god that was so fulfilling. It was so ritually rewarding. Let's just hope that we can do it again today. We're gonna need the support of everybody involved. This is our last game of the season.

I also wanna ask you guys, um, what you want for next season like, uh, what you want more of, what you want less of. Um, on world class skill level so I don't think I can get any better on the, on the, skill level front, but d--do y'know want--um--I--I--do you want more player bios? I--I'm thinking, basically I'm thinking that like--oh boy that was a bad pass--we need more player bios but it, it, took us a couple seasons to get to a place where we have a standard squad. Um, but I think by the end of the summer we'll have that. We're gonna have a lot of new players this summer. We're saying goodbye to some of our old favorites including, of course, uh Lizzie Bennet but, um, but y'know now that we actually have a squad that we can talk about--it's really, the pitch quality is not great considering that this is the premier stadium in England. Um, but now that we have a squad--it's r-raining really hard, to be fair, but y'know that's-that's what they should be prepared for that being as they are on a small rainy island where the sky is extremely close to the ground.

ANYTHING BUT THIS! Ah, everything worked out better than expected. Woulda been a nice time to use the X button, but we chose not to. Um, oh that's a nice ball, nice piercing ball--and then to his husband--WHAT A GOOD BALL! GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, TO THE FAR POST, TO THE FAR POST, TO YOUR HUSBAND--NO, ANYTHING, OH!! 

Um, so anyway, now that we're gonna know, now that we're gonna know the players, y'know, and we're gonna, they're gonna be with us for the long haul, um, I wanna know if you want, y'know, if you wanna hear more about them, um, then I think that'd be great. Like, uh, y'know, we've got some, we've got a couple players in the youth squad, um, who are gonna come up to the senior team next season, including one, um, who actually is actually on the bench today which is a huge honor, this is the most important game of the Wimbly Wombly season-win and we go to the Championship, lose and we stay in League 1. Um, and, the manager, that is me, saw fit to put him on the bench for this game--oh Ya Bamba rarely outpaced by anyone--that's a helluva left back. Get there! Uhhh, I mean, y'know, not the best shot I've ever seen in my life, I might of crossed it if it was my personal decision, but I support you! I support you Francombstein.

So yeah, um, I think we need to get to know the players a little better, but I also want to know anything else that you want, want, for next season: ideas that you have for videos, where'd you'd like the series to go. Um, I'm very very excited for our sponsorship of AFC Wimbledon, the real club, to continue, um, into next season for them, um, it's gonna in fact grow, it's gonna be a bigger sponsorship then ever next season, and I'm really really excited about that.

Um, oh god! I'll tell you what I'm not excited about, the possibility of losing this game and having to play next season in League 1. Um, and then lots and lots of the naysayers will be like, "Man, I can't believe you lost all of those games on purpose and scored 25 goals on yourself." Oh no! Oh yes! Nice moment for the X button, but I made a different choice. Back it up. NO! What! Ugh! Goodness gracious. Alright.

So yeah, um, thoughts on next season, thoughts on strategy, thoughts on players you'd like us to get--all that stuff is always welcome, but mostly I just wanna know, y'know, what do you like and not like about being an AFC Wimbledon Wimbly Wombly supporter? Do you care about the real club as much as I do? Um, ugh, but remember, and I'm saying that not just because, um, not just because I wanna know, but also because, like, y'know, I want to remind you that this club is literally owned by its fans.

Go! Get there, get there, get there! Oh, Ya Bamba, Ya Bamba, Ya Bamba, YA BAMBA, ugh, was behind him, was a great lookin' cross, was just a little bit behind him, and now we've got to rush to get back. Oh now it's panic, panic. Yep, yup, this is problematic. Definitely an issue. Oh don't worry, don't worry, I dunno what we were worried about. We got the White House on our team.

Go! Yes! Nice! Calm, calm, no, KENNEDY! KENNEDY, IF YOU GIVE UP A GOAL I'M GONNA BE SO MAD AT YOU! He didn't.

We are living on the edge right now, though. I mean our whole season is in the balance, and this is not the best play we've had all season. You can tell, there's some Wembley nerves, there always are in the first half of the game, I mean y'know this is an amazing, amazing thing. We're a club that, um, we're playing in front of, y'know, 100, 200, 300 people a few years ago, and here we are at Wembley. This is pretty crazy.

Get there! Ugh. Trying to cross it into the box too much. Not enough creative play. We need some more creative passing, like that, like that. Yes! Make 'em, make 'em think a little bit. Make 'em feel a little uncomfortable. Pass it into the box, Bald John Green, STEP BACK, CUT BACK, ugh.

Bald John Green wanted that really bad, you can tell, you can tell, he just, he wants the goals. He wants to be the hero who sends his club into the Championship: the second tier of English football. I mean next season we could be playing teams that last season were playing in the Premier League. And I will remind you, like, we just got out of the, uh, we just got into the football league in 2011 thanks to the hard work of Seb Brown saving 2 penalties against Luton Town. And so, um, this is a pretty crazy story. We're a team owned by our fans.

Anyway, the thing I was saying before is that, like, it's important to me that you understand that you own this club--this is your club, uh, just as, just as, the fans of AFC Wimbledon, and myself, and other fans of AFC Wimbledon own AFC Wimbledon. Um, like my son and my daughter are both, um, are both owners of AFC Wimbledon, and you can be too. I think it's like 75 bucks, um, a year. It's worth it, though. It's worth it, though, to support, to support real football.

Um, and yeah it's really, so I just want to remind you that like this is your team, this is our last game this season, I believe that we can win it. Even if we lose it though, it's still your team. Y'know, it's still, um, y'know, it's still, it's ours, it's our club together. And, um, it's really important to me, especially moving forward that that be the case even more.

Um, I'm gonna be using next season some more, hopefully, some better technology so that--OH GOD, OH GO-AAAHHH! UGH! ABSOLUTE, UNADULTERATED HEROISM from the boys ending with Seb Brown. Look at that. He just put his body in front of the ball 72 different times. I believe that's Amoura. Um, y'know, when you really love your club, and you take it in the nubs, that's Amoura (John laughs).

(To Meredith) Cause he, Meredith, it's cause he kept getting hit in the balls.

Oh! Seb Brown with a big punch.

Um, and I dunno why I called them nubs. It's cause it rhymes. I, I, I'M NOT A VERY GOOD SONGWRITER! That's the other thing, if you could write me some songs, that's always appreciated.

Um, alright, we gotta win this game. This is getting ridiculous. This is it! This is everything! I think we were a little too hyped about getting, making it--OH GOD! (John squeals and makes other weird noises) I think, uh, we all saw...our lives flash in front of our eyes then.

Um, anyway, I think we're a little too excited playing MK Dons. Like we were--oop I hate saying their name. Um, I think we all just like, we, it was almost like that was the end of the season. But none of it matters if we don't win this game cause then we'll just have to keep playing those scumbags. So we--oh! It doesn't seem like me to go play for the other team, but whatever. Um, maybe that's my brother Darren. NO IT'S DAVE, IT'S DAVE GREEN! BASTARD! (John laughing) Always knew he wasn't a loyal brother.

OH NO! GET UP, GET UP, GET UP, GET UP! Ugh god. 70th minute. Time to stay calm and find a winner. We've gotta find a winner right now. This is, this is still a winnable game. Obviously Charlton Athletic has had probably the bulk of the chances, but we've had the bulk of the Seb. Seb, Seb! Thank you. It was like for a second he forgot that the ball was there. 

Alright, come on guys. Let's find a way. Passing...passing is good. Wide...to Ya Bamba! I like it. Inside to Other John Green, Other John Green, nah, it was a good idea, I like the idea, but we weren't on the same page communication wise and now suddenly we are caught out in the back.

Get there, get there, get there, run, run, run, run, I know you're tired, I know you're tired, I know you're tired, it's been a long season, NO! Ugh, yes. NO! OHH, SEB! This is insane! I mean we don't even--I really, really, really, really, really, want to continue our march to the Premier League. I really don't wanna play in League 1 again. I don't like playing MK Shmook.  I don't like playing them at all.

GOOD RUN, GOOD RUN, GOOD RUN, GOOD RUN, GET IT, GET IT, GET IT, NO, GAH! What a great pass. That was like a Steven Gerrard quality pass, but it was all for nothing as it so often is in this world. Oh sometimes I wonder what's even the point of endeavoring it all.

Okay. Nope! Yes! Nice pass. No! Bald John Green! Obviously in that case you need to see the ball and go to it! Ugh. We're all feeling the tension right now. Oh goodness gracious.

(John makes weird noises) Ugh! That would've been a really good time for the X button, but instead we dribble it out as we always do. Ugh and that pass just wasn't there.

The boys are a little tired. You can tell. It's still nil-nil. We're in the 90th minute now. Extra time looming! But, can we get the ball to Other John Green, NO! Ugh! I love that idea, that pass, though, I love the idea of that pass. It was a big bold slice of fresh ideas. We just gotta do more of that. Let's get--we're gonna have to go to extra time. We're going to extra time. We're going to make some substitutions. Everyone stay calm. We have Seb Brown, they don't. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. Stay calm. We're gonna be alright.

I'm workin' on a--I listen to the Chipmunks Movie a lot--I say listen because I don't really watch it at this point because I'm so familiar with the plot. But, there's a song (John singing) "We're the Chipmunks: Alvin, Simon, Theodore." Anyway, I've been thinking about a Wimbly Wombly song like (John singing) "We're the Wimblys: John Green, John Green, Seb Brown, and more. We're the Womblys. Something, something, something-gore". I'm not a great songwriter. I'm workin' on it, I'm workin' on it. I'm just throwin' it out there as an idea. (John singing) "We're the Wimblys. Doo da doo da doo da doo doo." I dunno. You guys, you guys work with me. 

There he is, by the way, M. Mose Vestergaard. That's our, that's our new, uh, right midfielder. We've got a lot of right midfielders, nothing we can do about it.

Um, I'm gonna bring on The Gaulden Child, and I think I'm gonna bring on, um, I think I'm gonna bring on Kaz as well. I just feel like we need--and then Moura is really exhausted so I'm wondering if there's anyone we can bring in for him. There really isn't. Moura has had himself a helluva game and full credit to him for it, but, um, yeah obviously this is tense times. We're exhausted. We're in extra time against Charlton. We're at Wembley. This game decides what league we play in next year. Bald John Green just looks beautiful bald, never want that guy to have hair on him, not a stitch, except for the mustache of course.

There he is, The Gaulden Child, he's 15 years old: just, just hit puberty. Still kind of, y'know, it's not something you hit so much as it's something you sort of go through, and he's going through it, but he's going through it on a very public stage. And I--OH NO! Don't give up possession that easily! Come on! D'AHH! AHH! Seb, Seb, thank you! Where would we be without you? Oh my god! This is terrifying! GOOD BALL, GOOD BALL, GOOD BALL! John Green, CUT BACK! GO THROUGH! GET FOULED! SHOOT! YES!! YES, YES, YES! OH YES, YES, YES!

(John singing) "He's big! He's tough! He has a brilliant puff! Other John Green, Other John Green!"

Ahh! He's had a rough season! It hasn't always gone the way he wanted it to, but Other John Green with the most important goal that the Wimbly Womblys have scored all year long. OTHER JOHN GREEN! Hero to his people! Ahh! They're singing his name!

(John singing) "John Greens, John Greens, Bald and Other John Greens, they're the best forwards that Wimbledon has ever seen!"

Oh, its a beautiful day. It's a beautiful day in London! Oh, it can rain all it wants, but you can't rain on our parade. We just gotta find a way to hold on to this lead. What a fantastic goal, and frankly, when we were rather on the back foot, you gotta say we were, we were really struggling. Here we are in extra time. We got--Seb's got that covered. Take, everybody, take it down a notch. Just stay calm, stay calm. Alright we're going to the second half of extra time.

(John singing) "A-F-C Wimbledon. A-F-C Wimbledon."

Suck it Dave Green, suck it!

That's right, Seb Brown, he's wearing--what's that thing called? It's not a turtleneck exactly, it's like, uh, it's a snood? Is that what it's called?

(To Meredith) Will you Google snood, Meredith, and see if that's right?

I think it might be called a snood. A lot of people wearing snoods considering that it's like June. Seems a little warm for the snood to me.

Alright, they're changing shape to try to find a goal. They've got 15 minutes to try to save their season, and we've got 15 minutes before we are going up. We--ugh, could be, that would be magical. Come on, come on boys! Great, great, great job there! Not a great pass, NOT A GREAT PASS! (John squeals) Great job tackling, stay on that ball, stay on that ball! Make him dribble it out of bounds! I'll take it, I'll take it, I'll take it.

(To Meredith) Is it a snood Meredith? Was I right?

Get to him, get to him, get to him, get to him, get to him.

Alright, I was right. Well, long story short, I know my fashion. I know my men's fashion.

'Kay, I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it! Bald John Green stay on that ball! Oh he was just trying to dribble it into the corner, but he didn't have--he was just a little too tired. This is tense. Ugh! Look at that! Francombstein with the most important steal of the season. Oh and then he passes it away.

Get there! Yes, yes! Get to the ball, get to--WHAT REFEREE! If we, if they score here it is entirely the referee's fault. Oh, Seb! Oh, Seb Brown! Saved two penalties against Luton Town, he's had a huge game here today in the League 1 playoff final.

And we are minutes away, seconds away at this point from headed to the Championship. And the cry begins from the blue section of Wembley Stadium (Chanting) "WE ARE GOING UP, SAY WE ARE GOING UP! WE ARE GOING UP, SAY WE ARE GOING UP! WE ARE GO"--ARE WE, ARE WE? CAN WE PLEASE? ARE WE, ARE WE, ARE WE, ARE WE? YES! WE ARE GOING UP! WE ARE GOING UP TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP FROM THE BOTTOM, THE BOTTOM OF THE FOOTBALL NON-LEAGUE. FROM PLAYING ON HILLSIDES TO THE CHAMPIONSHIP! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! We made sure that Milton Keynes isn't living this dream, and now we do get to lead it thanks to--ugh! Lead it, live it!

THANK YOU! Thank you Other John Green! Thank you Bald John Green! Thank you to all the supporters! You own our club. You are our club! We're not a franchise! We are part of this community. Oh, this is amazing. This is so special right now. Look at that. Look at the boys. They're just--oh, the blue and yellow confetti falls, the fireworks over Wembley Stadium. There that is us saluting you as we see your many scars that instantly disappear for reasons that are obscure to me. Thank you so much for your support!

Next year, next year, we will be playing in the Championship. Tell me what you want that to look like. But, we will be playing against some of the biggest names in England. Oh, it's a beautiful day! It's a good looking trophy that we just won! I don't think we've ever won that one before. Oh, this is great! This is, it's just what dreams are made of--indoor fireworks and then the pitch emptying inexplicably. What a season! Thank you for your support. Thank you for being part of this. Congratulations to all of the Wimbly Womblys on a hard fought season, hard fought campaign. Oh, everything is beautiful and nothing hurts. Best wishes.