So this is it? We're just, like, off-brand Bo Burnham now? I'm into it. Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday.

I continue to be astonished by the likelihood that somebody behaving like a "first name buncha numbers" on Twitter or Reddit will actually have a "first name buncha numbers" username. You wanna know something weird? The Fault in Our Stars came out 11 years ago today, what- what a strange 11 years it's been. Sometimes when I'm really stressed out I'll think like, "You know what though? Like, you're not a computer. No wonder you're anxious like you're a monkey, wearing a jacket, trying to make a Youtube video. What a strange situation to be in." But right, about the The Fault in Our Stars. It makes me really happy to know that people are still finding that book and reading it as a story, instead of as like part of some larger cultural phenomenon that includes Saturday Night Live skits and everything. It's just so lovely that it is still in print and still finding people. It's been around almost as long as the Doritos Locos Taco.

Hey, so this is a literary device called "foreshadowing."

Lately I've been thinkin' about the fact that throughout history, most people had absolutely no idea what was going on inside of the body. Like there was this doctor and a few hundred years ago, he published a paper that was like, "What happens when a human being swallows a pin? We don't know. It might come out of the tummy, it might come out of the leg. It might come out in the pee. It's a magic." And that makes me wonder, like, "What do we not know that would be very obvious if only we had a way to know it?"

Hi everybody, thanks for coming to my show tonight. You know what really grinds my gears? Prepositions. People will be like, "You live in a country, but on an island because countries are made of human ideas whereas islands are ineluctable geographic realities." But, if I'm not mistaken, like, it's all an island? Like this is a water planet with some islands on it. It's all just human constructs, like if you zoom out, Earth itself is an island in an ocean of space. Everything is an island, we're not living on Earth or on the continent of North America. We're living in these things. I demand an end to the tyranny of On-ness.

Sometimes I read this stuff on the subreddit "im14andthisisdeep" and I think, "A-actually this is kinda deep and y'all are just jaded. This is the chair where I write all day. I'm used to looking from it, not at it, but it's-it's a good little chair and it's got my favorite painting right there. And I can just look at it and I am carried away. 

Lately I've been making these strange little wobbly close forms, hold on, let's cut to the pottery lab. I'm very much a beginner at pottery, but basically, I just take a lump of clay, center it as best I can, and then make a closed form that is hollow on the inside like when they're drying, they look like this. And then after they're glazed and fired, they look like this. The idea is that these are secret-keepers. Like you whisper things that are difficult or worrisome or traumatic or whatever into the little holes in the bottom and then they worry or trauma lives inside of the closed form, and not inside of your head. Does it work? No, probably not, but I like it conceptually, and then when I'm all done making the secret-keeper and I've whispered the secret into it, I kinda like holding the pottery in my hand and looking at it and thinking, "Oh, wow, I survived you." 

Hank, thanks for keeping it fresh for 16 years and counting. I'll see you on Friday.