Hank: Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John. 

John: Or as I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank. 

Hank: It's a podcast where two brothers answer your questions, give you advice and bring you all the week's news from both Mars and AFC Wimbledon. 

John: But this week, with a slightly different take. 

Hank: Oh, you know at this podcast we love Ryan's. We love Ryan probably too much.

John: We love Ryans

Hank: I'm not sure exactly why we love Ryan so much, but we sure do. 

John: Yeah. 

Hank: And we thought to ourselves, what if we had a guest? So sometimes we have, like when you're not there or I'm not there, we have like fill-ins but we never really have guests, but I thought maybe we could get a Ryan, to be like the like, dear Hank and John and Ryan. 

John: Yeah, and I am, Ryan not to be nervous about this, but not to take the dad joke duties, but we are joined today by noted Canadian actor, entrepreneur..

Hank: This this sounds like a joke, it sounds like we're making a joke 

John: We're not making a joke, Ryan Reynolds is here. 

Ryan: Oh, I had no idea this wasn't on video, I had my lips done.

Hank and John: [laughter]

Ryan: You’ll never get to see that

Hank: Yeah

Ryan: Uhm hi guys

Hank: Hello

Ryan: I love that Blake just you said yeah “I'll leave you in a second to your precious Anthropocene Reviewed podcast” and I said that I'm not doing the Anthropocene Reviewed podcast. They don't have guests.

John and Hank: [laughing]

Hank: You don't even make episodes of that anymore. 

Ryan: No, it got canceled. 

John: Yeah, I know what that's like though cause I have the same relationship with Sara. The media that I listened to, that Sarah engages with where she's like “Yeah, whatever John, just go in the corner”

Hank: Yeah, last night, Catherine said to me, “why are you going to be on Ryan Reynolds podcast?

Rest: [laughing] 

Hank: And I was like I have amazing news. 

All: [laughing]

John: So we're so pleased to be joined by our special guest Ryan Reynolds. And I wanted to begin Ryan, if I could, by asking you a question from a listener called Cassie, who writes 

Dear John and Hank at any given time when I look up at the sky, how much of the sky am I actually seeing? Like from my vantage point, it looks like almost exactly half. But that can't be right, can it?

Keep it classy, Cassie. 

Ryan: What wow, this turn? It's just a very remarkably thoughtful question. 

Hank: Yeah, I mean the bad news for Ryan is that I know the answer and so if he gets it wrong, I'm going to have to tell him.

John: Uh-

Hank: Did you know you were coming on a quiz show?

Ryan: I don't even know- how do you measure sky?

John: Yeah? 

Ryan: Like it's not, it's not hectares, right? 

John: Yeah, what is the sky Hank? I don't even really know like and where we've talked before about where does the sky start.

Ryan: What unit of measurement would you use? 

Hank: Well, it's got to be mathematical right? Because there is, you are right that it's not an area because of how it does not have a plane to it. So it kind of- in the night time it extends out to you know, roughly 13.7 billion light years. So that's a problem for us. 

John: It's big. There's a lot of sky at night. 

Hank: Yeah, so the thing you would be measuring is angles. So like is it 180 degrees? 

John and Ryan: Ohhhhh

Hank: Or is it less than or more than 180 degrees  

John: [overlapping] woah woah woah wait-

Ryan: [overlapping] Its gonna rest on your angles laurels (?) all right

John: You're telling me that the earth is round?

Ryan: Wait a second

Hank: No, I mean yes, but it wouldn't have to be to still measure it in angles. 

John: No, no, no man, I saw this YouTube video that got into this in detail. 

Hank: Oh goodness, I don't like this. This is terrible news for me. 

Ryan No no no no. 

John: Hank how much of the sky can you see? 

Hank: Well, it depends on where you are. If you are where I am, you can't see 180 degrees because there's mountains all around me. 

John: Oh, OK. 

Hank: If there's buildings all around you of course you have a similar problem. But if you are on a perfectly flat plane like say you're in the ocean on a boat, you can see slightly more than 180 degrees because the earth is round. 

Hank: The higher up you are, the more you can see. The more sky there is. And then as you like take off in a space- in a shuttle, and go farther and farther away, like if you're in a rocket ship going away from Earth that angle continues to decrease until eventually the sky is everything except for a tiny dot that is the Earth. So that's how- that's how it works.

John: Whoa. You just blew my mind a little bit.

Ryan: It's lonely. It's really lonely.

Hank: Yeah!

Ryan: Why does the sky look different in certain places? Have you ever been- like if you go to like Africa, if you look at the sky you're like, that's a different looking sky--

Hank: That's not the same sky.

Ryan: --than the one I grew up with in Canada.

Hank: Yeah. Well I live in Montana everyone calls it the big sky state. And I'm like well technically it's the same size.

John: But it does feel bigger! I mean is that just an optical illusion?

Ryan: Hank's version makes a terrible license plate.

[John laughs]

Hank: It does get me in trouble with the fellow Montanans.

Ryan: Technically it's the same sky state is a great license plate header.

[John laughs again]

Hank: That's what mine says. I've gotten my sharpie out and fixed it. I'm that kind of terrible pedant and I just want everyone to know that.

John: I don't want to be pedantic but I'm pretty sure that's pronounced pedant.

[Hank laughs]

Ryan: Pedant. It's so musical.

Hank: Okay John, John and Ryan, I have another question.

John: Great.

Hank: This one comes from Daisy, who asks: Dear Hank and John-- I think this is an important question-- I just bought a cup of coffee but I forgot to put milk and sugar in it. is it socially acceptable to go back into the cafe ten minutes later to add milk and sugar? I hate black coffee. Please help me. Not a Buchanan, Daisy.

John: No.

Ryan: Oooh.

Hank: I have this with bathrooms. A lot.

John: Oh!

Hank: Where I've purchased something recently from a restaurant or some other-

John: I was a customer.

Hank: I was recently a customer and I'm coming back for one reason.

John: Right. Because I have ulcerative colitis.

Hank: Yes.

Ryan: That sucks.

Hank: [laughs] Like I got a special card. You need to let me do this.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: Which bathroom's the most sterile? I need to make-- do a procedure in there that is gonna-- I always think that like-- Daisy, this is a good question but I always think that like you gotta just drive it like you own it. Like you just gotta go back. If you don't act like there's anything wrong, they won't either.

Hank: Mm hmm.

Ryan: That's what I'm thinking.

Hank: Con Man 101 is what Ryan Reynolds is teaching us.

Ryan: Yeah! This- this is the short con! This is an easy one, I mean the same with the bathroom it's like, hell yes I'm using the bathroom I'm a paying customer!

Hank: Yeah!

John: Right.

Ryan: And most folks are conflict averse.

Hank: Oh yes.

Ryan: Most people don't want to engage in conflict. Most people have not been trained in conflict resolution. So, if you got that under your belt, you're covered on both angles (?~6:34).

Hank: Yeah.

Ryan: I think just go back and get--

Hank: Where do we get trained in conflict resolution? Is that something that happens in like year two of Hollywood celebrity? They're like, hey, so we got a course you need to take.

Ryan: I mean, that'd be nice, boy howdy.

[John and Hank laughing]

Ryan: I did study conflict resolution and it's helped.

John: I know some working actors who have obviously not had conflict resolution.

Ryan: No! No no no! I feel like conflict resolution is like a life hack. They should teach that in school. Cuz I took a workshop in it when I was in my late twenties, and man, I have used that every day of my life since.

John and Hank: Wow!

Ryan: Yeah.

John: But it does speak to how profoundly conflict avoidant we are that we think to ourselves, Oh, I really shouldn't go back to this cafe where I bought a cup of coffee ten minutes ago because I am so worried about the potential conflict of--

Ryan: Mm.

John: --you know, people thinking I'm pouring milk into coffee I didn't buy here.

Ryan: yes.

Hank: Yeah. And John by the way would never do that. You would never go back into a coffee place.

John: no, because I'm so conflict avoidant, which is-- now I'm realizing that what I need is conflict resolution workshopping.

Ryan: Yeah.

Hank: Yeah.

Ryan: Just go in there, mirror, empathize, and validate someone and you'll make their day and yours.

Hank: Okay, now we're going to have to start charging for Ryan Reynolds' course on conflict resolution.

John: I was gonna say I feel like I just got it. I feel like I don't need to go to the training now, I just mirror empathize and what's the last one? Validate?

Ryan: Validate. Yeah. It's great. I'm telling you, it's a life hack. It's the-- very useful life hack.

Hank: Just thinking about this makes me nervous.

Ryan: Why?!

John: Not me!

Ryan: Why?

Hank: Because I'm imagining a conflict that I might be in.

Ryan: Oh!

[John laughs]

Ryan: If you imagine a conflict I can-- it's the easiest thing in the world. You're gonna mirror, empathize, and validate. So if John says, Hey, I'm really pissed off, like, you came back into my coffee shop and you went and you used the bathroom and you didn't flush the toilet, you know, you're not even a paying customer! You can mirror that.

You can say, Yeah, I came into your coffee shop and I did this thing and I imagine that did not feel good for you. I mean I imagine there's a lot of people paying customers people waiting and stuff like that. Now the bathroom's-- and that's when you say I can imagine that would be difficult for you John and-- so in a weird way you're not like, admitting you've done anything wrong, all you're doing is sharing their perspective, mirroring it back to them.

Hank: Right.

Ryan: And validating that it is viable.

Hank: Right. Real thing.

Ryan: That it's a viable perspective. And then you really actually don't have to be like, I did something wrong, or say something like that because you didn't necessarily. Your experience is yours and theirs is theirs.

Hank: Right. Valid (?~9:10).

John: Wow. I didn't know that I would get (?~9:14) therapy today but I'm very grateful that I did.

Ryan: Yeah. You will cut this whole section out of this, I promise you.

John: Oh, no we won't.

Ryan: Oh!

John: We won't even cut you telling us to cut it.

Ryan: Yeah. Good.

[laughter]

Hank: That's the best.

Ryan:  I love how you guys roll.

Hank: Ryan, I have a Ryan-specific question for you. This one comes from Hank who asks, What are you doing on our- what are you doing on our podcast?

John: How- why'd you come on our podcast?

Ryan: Oh!

John: So nice of you, but it's very surprising.

Ryan: Yeah. Big fan of both of you. John, you were very kind to chat with me a couple years ago on football matters.

John: Great conversation.

[Hank laughs]

Ryan: Among other things. Uh, your dulcet voice just soothes me.

John: This was before it became public knowledge that Ryan and his friend Rob have become the owners of Wrexham, a team that plays in Wales in the fifth division of English soccer.

Ryan: Yes.

John: And we talked about the perils and opportunities of loving lower tier English football teams.

Hank: Wow that is a weird thing to have in common with a person but love it for you both.

Ryan: Everything John said resonated and every piece of advice you gave me I feel like I put to good use. I'm gonna digitally pat myself on the back here. Literally doing it- can you hear it?

[sound of Ryan patting his own back]

[John and Hank laughing]

John: That's great.

Ryan: I took every piece of advice you gave me and I think I put it to good use. That has been incredible. And then, you know I'm a massive Anthropocene fan. I love the Auld Lang Syne episode that-- Hank have you ever heard that one?

Hank: Yeah of course.

Ryan: Yeah Auld Lang Syne. That one I think, I gotta say for like, just pound for pound, I think it's like twenty four minutes long, it's probably the most emotional podcast I've ever heard. I think I've sent it to everyone. Basically any hotshot actor I've ever worked with has listened to that.

Hank: Ha-hah!

John: Aw, well thank you for doing that. That's very kind of you.

Ryan: That one just gets me. And then Hank. A big huge fan of everything you do to promote and genuinely care for science.

Hank: Oh yeah.

Ryan: I have to say I'm a huge fan. I know this took a much more serious tone than you were thinking of, just gonna crap all over you both but that's just not gonna happen I'll wait til we stop recording.

[Hank laughs]

Ryan: So I'm a huge fan of you both guys. and then I often, I'll just find myself on a walk, I'll walk the kids to school and I'll be on the way back and I'll be listening to one of you guys doing something, and I often think to myself like how did they come up with the, uh, billing order here? Hank and John, John and Hank, if they added a rooster it could be John Hank-cock, which would be a good name for a show.

[John laughs]

John: That's a great idea!

Ryan: Like how does that go down? Right?

John: Yeah.

Ryan: But then you're stuck with a rooster.

Hank: well i mean they only live so long.

John: Yeah and he's probably a method actor and he'll never get out of character.

Ryan: A hundred percent.

John: Just a regular dude who's constantly trying to act like a rooster.

Ryan: Yeah.

John: It is a source of considerable consternation the question of, is it Hank and John or John and Hank? I think that Hank and I have somewhat different worldviews on the topic.

Hank: look, I think Hank and John just sounds better.

Ryan: Mm.

John: And it's alphabetical. I think that's an argument in favor of it. I was born first, so I tend to think of, I have to confess, think of it as John and Hank, but to mirror empathize and validate--

Ryan: Mm, well done.

John: --I'm hearing that Hank, you feel like Hank and John sounds better.

Hank: yeah.

John: And I can absolutely understand why that would make you feel more comfortable.

Hank: uh huh.

John: And I understand why from your perspective that is important.

Ryan: My God. That was textbook, John!

John: Thank you.

Ryan: Textbook! Oh my God! A Jungian freak out there is jumping for joy right now. That was really amazing.

John: You've really, you've really changed my life.

Ryan: Wow.

John: This is it moving forward. This is my only strategy.

Ryan: Right?

John: I think I got it.

Ryan: May this feed (?~13:17) and nurture all your relationships.

John: There you go. There you go.

Ryan: Hank and John sounds better I gotta say. I don't mean to pick a lane here--

Hank: Ha hah! Conflict resolved!

Ryan: John and Hank is like more work for me personally.

John: Yeah I hear it. Okay.

Ryan: Yeah it doesn't suggest preference in any way shape or form but Hank and John just sorta rolls off the tongue a little bit easier.

Hank: Well now we have one additional vote, there are only three of us, so I guess we know that is- also really rolls off the tongue.

Ryan: So does John Hank-cock also.

[John laughs]

Hank: and it's not hard to get a rooster in Montana.

Ryan: No! Oh please!

 Hank: They're available.

John: I have a rooster!

Ryan: Oh please, I'm wearing one right now!

John: I've already got one!

John: And I can't believe that I failed to name the rooster John Hankcock! What a massive mistake!

Ryan: Fail. Huge fail.

John: Oh but no the kids have already named the rooster so there's no going back from it.

Ryan: Do you actually have a rooster?

Hank: He does, yeah.

John: I do, yeah.

Ryan:  I have chickens but I don't have a rooster. Why would you do that to yourself? Is it just like--

John: If you get to a certain level, if you have a certain number of chickens you're supposed to have one rooster. I don't know why, but that's what my parents said.

Hank: Those are the rules. Chicken rules.

Ryan: Some sort of poultry sexism is gonna come into play there.

John: I don't know how it works.

Ryan: No.

John: I shouldn't say that they're really my chickens when they live with my parents.

Hank: Oh, I was wondering! I was like, you don't have chickens!

John: No, well I mean they are next door.

Hank: Joined ownership.

John: I look at the chickens all day long.

Hank: A lot. Yeah your kids take care of the chickens.

John: I can see them from where I'm speaking to you.

Ryan: Chickens are good for kids though. I like the responsibility. They're more work than you'd think.

Hank: Oh yeah! They need love.

John: Yeah I think they're great for kids and they're not inside, which is really nice for me.

Ryan: Yes.

Hank: They can be!

Ryan: We had them inside for a while though when they were babies.

John: Oh yeah. yeah.

Ryan: And that was just disgusting. I mean good god.

John: Well some people put their chickens in diapers and have inside chickens but that's never gonna be us.

Ryan: Wow! Cuz they're crap factories. I mean they're literally like-

John: They just never stop pooping.

Ryan: Yeah.

John: A lot of my time is spent in very close proximity with chicken poop wearing an N95 mask.

Ryan: I want an N100 where there's just no air at all and I just asphyxiate.

[John and Hank laugh]

Ryan: They gotta make one of those.

John: If you're near chicken poop, for sure.

Hank: So here's a weird thing about what it's like to be you.

Ryan: Mm.

Hank: I went through the Dear Hank and John questions inbox which has existed since I think 2016, and I just searched for your name and we had about twenty questions that referenced you specifically.

Hank: So inside of this little episode of Dear Hank and John, I'm gonna sprinkle a few of those, and here's the first one, and it is from Abby, who says: Dear Hank and John --and had no idea that Ryan Reynolds was going to be listening to this question so keep that in mind--

Ryan: Mm.

Hank: [continuing to read the question] I know the difference between Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling, but every time I try to picture one of them in my head, I just see their faces blurred together into a hybrid Ryan possibly named Ryan Gosnolds.

[Ryan laughs]

Hank: [continuing to read] Is there a solution to this problem? Abby.

Ryan: [laughs] You know what's funny? Years ago, I used to play fast and loose a little bit more on Twitter, these days I'm a little bit more reserved.

Hank: Yeah. Yeah. Do that (?~16:39).

Ryan: But I remember this question came up, I can't tell the difference between Ryan Reynolds and Ryan Gosling. And I answered the question.

Hank: Ooh.

Ryan: I said that- I would never do this today, but I answered it. I said, Well the difference is easy to spot. Ryan Gosling has blond hair and Ryan Reynolds is a [bleeped out word]. And um, yeah.

Hank: [laughs] Oh good, we get a bleep for the episode. Don't worry about what that word was, everyone.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: You're gonna be fine.

Hank: I have always remembered it this way. Ryan Reynolds is a Canadian, and Ryan Gosling is a very small goose.

[John laughs]

Ryan: There you are. Nailed it. Nailed it!

John: I don't have a hard time with this because I close my eyes and I picture Ryan Reynolds starring in The Notebook and it all, I'm like, nah that wouldn't happen.

Ryan: No way. No. That would've failed horrendously. Can't imagine.

Hank: I guess there is a different vibe, huh?

John: Well you would've brought a very different energy. I don't know if it would've been a better film or a worse film but it would've been a different film.

Hank: A different film, yeah.

Ryan: It would've been worse I promise you. it would've been unwatchable. The theaters would've just said, "How many walkouts today? A hundred percent." It would've been horrible.

John: It would've been funnier.

Ryan: Yeah.

Hank: Well hey.

John: You'd just bring a different energy to it.

Hank: Yeah. Did you start your career on Disney's The Mickey Mouse Club, or was that Ryan Gosling?

Ryan: That was Ryan Gosling, you're suffering from the same issue that Abby had.

Ryan: Yeah no that wasn't me. I did start like Ryan Gosling. I did start at a very young age. I didn't anything as notable as the Mickey Mouse Club. I did a bad sort of soap opera for teens called Fifteen for Nickelodeon.

John: Oh!

Ryan: And I remember they paid me two hundred fifty bucks a week and I thought I was the richest man on earth. I also had a paper route which I wasn't allowed to quit. And this paid like three times what my paper route paid. It was incredible.

Hank: Whoa. Yeah. I mean and also a little less physical activity, but also in addition to that I now think you're very old.

Ryan: Mm hm. I am.

Hank: Now I think you're eighty five years old.

John: Yeah!

Hank: When did paper routes stop?

John: When did you have a paper route, in 1961?

Hank: Is that still a thing in Canada?

Ryan: I had a paper route in, it would've been 1990 I would guess?

Hank: oh my god.

Ryan: I was born in 1976. I am currently forty five years old.

john: I feel like I'm having a moment right now where I'm Bella and I'm saying to Edward Cullen, How old are you? And Edward Cullen's like, I'm sixteen! And I'm like, How long have you been sixteen? And then Edward Cullen's like, A while.

Ryan: Oh god. Did you just throw down a Twilight reference? Good lord John.

John: Yeah I have the whole movie memorized if you need any Twilight quotes I'm your man.

Ryan: [laughing] Thank you.

Hank: Thank you for tell me- all of us about Fifteen by the way. I'm excited to look it up.

John: I'm excited to go watch some Fifteen clips on YouTube.

Ryan: You're so, so welcome. It was good times though. That was- to me that was a big job.

John: Yeah!

Ryan: I'd made it. And then only like a year later, basically quit acting altogether and um, you know tried to finish high school and I ended up working as a busboy and working at a grocery store called Safeway. And those are the jobs I look back at as- probably one of the most fun jobs I ever had was working at Safeway.

Hank: Oh that is not how I feel about my time at Walmart.

Ryan: No? You worked at Walmart?

Hank: Yeah.

John: Also not how I feel about my time at Steak and Shake.

Ryan: Ooh wow. Steak and a shake? Did they make steak shakes?

John: No, no. And they don't actually make steaks either, they just make hamburgers it's a little misleading.

Hank: I never thought about that.

John: It was a great place to- I worked the graveyard shift and so I got a lot of good stories out of it. It was hard.

Hank: Yeah. Hard work.

John: Hard work. Who do you usually get- do people ever walk up to you Ryan and say something because they recognize you but they recognize you as the wrong person?

Ryan: Oh I mean yeah I get-

John: Or do they always recognize you as you?

Ryan: No. There's a pizza place in the East Village in New York that I've been going to for years that- they believe that I'm Ben Affleck and I've never corrected them.

Hank: I mean.

Ryan: Years.

John: [laughing] I have a few things like that. If you don't do a good job of correcting people immediately, it becomes a situation where you can never correct--

Hank: Oh you can't do it after that.

Ryan: Yeah I'm kind of like- it would not go over well if I you know revealed-

Hank: And they've been telling their friends for so long that Ben Affleck comes in all the time and now they're gonna have to like issue a correction. That's no good.

Ryan: Yeah. I also don't accept anything, like they're not giving me free pizza based on the fact- I do everything normal like everybody else they just think I'm Ben Affleck, they'll ask how J Lo is. I'll be like, Great, good. No. Pizza and all. And off I go.

Hank: This is where all the Us Weekly news comes from.

Ryan: Yeah!

John: You're the main source for Ben Affleck related Us Weekly news!

Hank: Incorrectly leaking information.

Ryan: Yeah. What I think makes it so believable with them is that I look mildly sort of put out by the fact that they're asking me again.

John: Oh, sure.

Ryan: Like about my life and the movies and I sort of look like- yeah they're like- I don't- when I leave I think they sort of think, I don't think Ben Affleck's amused by us and our questions about stuff.

[laughter]

Hank: Now you're ruining Ben Affleck's reputation!

Ryan: Yeah. I gotta be more chipper. That's actually a note. Noted.

Hank: Yeah you've got somebody else on the line here. You gotta watch out.

Ryan: Yeah exactly. I gotta take care of him.

John: Okay I've got a- I've got an acting question. That is for I think all of us because I don't know if y'all know this but I--

Ryan: (?~22:24)

John: --but I am also an actor because I had a cameo in The Fault In Our Stars that was cut from the film due to performance issues.

Ryan: [laughing] Oh no! Oh no!

Hank: I've seen it, it's in the deleted scenes.

John: [laughing] It's not good!

Hank: I understand why they cut it.

Ryan: Yeah.

[John laughing]

Hank: I love you John.

Ryan: You could fill a thousand gymnasiums with writers who've been cut from movies. Really, I mean, please (?~22:46). Sorry.

John: As a rule we're so bad. Anyway so this question is from Bergen. Dear John and Hank and Ryan, Yesterday I had an audition, and although I had prepared in advance when I got there I realized that I really wasn't prepared, and I completely forgot everything I knew and I seriously bombed the audition and today I am overwhelmed with mortification and can't stop thinking through everything I should've done better.

Mostly I feel as though I made a humiliating first impression on people whose opinions really matter to me. Any advice on how to forgive myself for this screw up and move forward? Doesn't rhyme with sturgeon, Ber-gen? Ber-jen?

Hank: Ber-gen?

John: Bergen. I did it right the first time.

Ryan: Bergen. Oh man. I mean auditions are horrible.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: Auditions are terrible places cuz like, it's just straight up evaluation. It's not even observation.

John: Right.

Ryan: It's just evaluation, and anytime you're being evaluated by somebody it's aaah, it's an act of hostility. So I feel for you Bergen. I understand that. And I can tell you eighty percent of the auditions I ever did I bombed. And the other nineteen percent were awful!

[John and Hank laughing]

Ryan: So I don't- you know, that's just the nature of the beast, you just, you gotta get comfortable.

Ryan: I would say get comfortable with rejection. With lots and lots of rejection. I always wonder like- you know like lately there's been a lot of talk- or at least I've been exposed to a lot of talk because I guess my algorithms- but of like method actors. I always wonder, like how do method actors audition?

John: Did you read that same profile that I read?

Ryan: Yes I did! Yes I did!

John: Yeah, yeah.

Ryan: I did read that profile! And I've worked with some method actors and I do understand both sides of it, I mean I understand that one's process is one's process, but the issue I sometimes take with method acting is that like, okay now your process now has to be all of our process.

John: Right.

Ryan: Cuz like at lunch we're gonna be like, I'm gonna be like scooping out some Greek salad from the buffet table and you're still gonna give me the hairy eyeball from across the way because your character doesn't like my character. I mean it's just-

John: Right.

Ryan: It's just insane.

Hank: Now I'm here.

Ryan: Yeah!

Hank: You've brought me in. This is not a choice that only affects you.

Ryan and john: yeah.

hank: I would not have imagined that.

Ryan: (?~25:11) That's the thing that's going on.

John: But I would imagine having failed spectacularly as an actor myself, that it is really hard for some people to feel like they are inside of the character and if they can't turn that off that must be difficult for them. But you're absolutely right like, it affects other people and that's what's so hard about the collaborative environment of making a play or a movie or whatever--

Hank: Sure.

John: --is that it is, unless you're making a one man show that you're also directing, it is an inherently collaborative process.

Hank: Yeah it's also part of what's so wonderful about it. Not that I know, I've just watched a lot of friends- a lot of my friends do theater, and it's just so like- the opportunity to lean on each other is really great but it does mean that you know everybody has to be there to lean on.

Hank: And the thing that is brought up in this question that I think is really poignant is like, you've identified what actually feels bad about this. Which is that a lot of people who you respect, you are imagining that they are thinking less of you.

Ryan: Mm.

Hank: And that may be to some extent true, but probably it's much less true than it feels to you. Like, probably everybody in that room has bombed an audition. And they've certainly seen lots of people bomb auditions or-- whether or not you actually bombed it-- you know, perform less well than they had anticipated they would.

Ryan: Yeah.

Hank: And so they are probably thinking about it a lot less than you are.

Ryan: I've also spent a lot of time on the other side of that where it's movies that I've produced and you're in these auditions and I can only speak to the experiences that I've been in, and the rooms that I've been in, myself, the casting director, the director, any- maybe there's additional producers, the writers in the room as well- we're all like desperately rooting for these folks that are coming in and bearing their soul.

Hank: Sure, yeah.

Ryan: And we all sort of understand how challenging it is to like- I mean I know I work really hard to make sure that the person who's reading is extremely comfortable. But I remember lots of auditions where- I had an audition- one of the first ones I ever had was for a casting director, and I- he never looked up.

Hank: Oh.

Ryan: He never looked up at me.

Hank: Oh.

Ryan: It was such an odd thing and it actually goes full circle because I guess about three months later I got this pilot for a sitcom. And I loved doing sitcoms. Still one of the best jobs I ever had. Live audience, lots of fun, lots of writing in the moment which I always love.

And I remember we did this pilot and the pilot was okay, but I loved the role I had.  I remember the same guy came up to me and said, "I would love to have a meeting with you at some point."

Hank: Wow. Wow.

Ryan: And I said, "Oh no, we met!"

[John laughing]

Ryan: He was like "We never met." and I was like "No, I met you on a project. It was called Enemies and it was a sitcom and I read for you and it was three weeks ago, look at your chart or whatever you have, I was there." And he didn't remember. And I remember that was just a- ouch.

Hank: Well maybe he was having a real bad-- now I'm being empathetic to the un-empathetic guy. This is my problem.

Ryan: He may have, yeah, he may have going through- everyone's got their own little bag of rocks they're carrying.

Hank: Which reminds me that this podcast is brought to you by Everybody's Little Bag of Rocks.

John: Yup.

Hank: Everybody's Little Bag of Rocks--

John: We all got 'em.

Hank: --We got 'em, and we don't know where they are, and sometimes they just rub us and we didn't even know that they were there--

John and Ryan: Yeah.

Hank: --and that is not comfortable.

Ryan: Wonderful sponsor.

John: Great sponsor. Very appreciative for their support. Of course today's podcast is also sponsored by Aviation Gin.

Hank: [laughing] Oh god!

Ryan: Aviation Gin?

John: Aviation Gin. My number one source of gin.

Hank: Oh.

Ryan: Are you looking for a beautiful smooth gin and an open checkbook? Well hey. Aviation Gin is the sponsor of this podcast that's for sure.

Hank: This podcast is also brought to you by Ryan Gosling's conflict resolution course.

[Ryan laughs]

Hank: It's available on- It's Masterclass!

[laughter]

John: And of course today's podcast is brought to you by Ben Affleck's Favorite Pizza Joint. Ben Affleck's Favorite Pizza Joint: things are going great with J Lo, thanks for asking.

[Ryan laughs]

Ryan: When I first started out I was in an improv comedy group and we used to do fake pharmaceutical ads. Cuz those are like great names. You know, "Are you tired of feeling your life? Are you tired of blinking? Well maybe-" and then it would be like, "Well maybe amperveer is for you." And then the list of side effects were always so hard because they would always speak so fast. But I always loved one of the side effects would be clay-colored stool.

[laughter]

Ryan: [really fast] May cause bloating, spontaneous death and clay-colored stool. (?~29:45)

John: And they always try to end it on one that isn't death.

Hank: Yeah! Just throw death in the middle!

John: Which I always find that so funny in those ads where like they squeeze death in right in the middle as if it's sort of like one of the less interesting things that could happen as a result of taking Cymbalta.

Hank: Ooh!

Ryan: May cause explosive strength. Wait, what?! Did you just say explosive strength?!

[John laughs]

Hank: We have a Project for Awesome message also from Maurie-- in Hyattsville-- Hyertsville, Maryland? I'm not sure-- to Greta and Toby. "Hey look you guys! Your name is on a podcast! Hank and John, thank you for making a podcast that I can share with people in my life and generally just making the world a better place."
Ryan, we have a- Project for Awesome is a charity event and people can buy little sponsorships for donations.

Ryan: Ohh! Thank you Maurie.

John: So thank you Maurie for buying a sponsorship. What an episode you picked.

Ryan: The episode.

John: I wanna ask you another Ryan-specific question.

Ryan: Sure.

John: If I might. This one is, I think, A plus plus solid gold. It's from Anonymous, who writes, Dear John and Hank-- although not bad Anonymous-- I am faced with a conundrum. I have fallen in love with a really wonderful man and we are engaged to be married. There is just one problem. His name is Ryan Reynolds.

Ryan: Oh my God!

John: [continuing to read] Now, I don't want to be mean to Ryan Reynolds the famous movie actor, but my Ryan is the better Ryan.

Oh anonymous, if only you'd known.

Ryan: Wow!

John: [continuing] My Ryan is the better Ryan. Regardless, I now have had a two year lovely relationship in which I have had to explain 'No, not that Ryan Reynolds' many many times, and now I realize that I am signing up for a lifetime of it. I'm not gonna let this hold me back from the marriage, but any advice on how to handle a lifetime of explaining that I am not married to a very famous Canadian would be welcome. Anonymous.

Ryan: Wow!

Hank: I was so pleased when I came across this!

Ryan: I will say this, anon-o-moose. I will say this, you know, culture, the cultural landscape moves fast.

Hank: Yeah. Yeah.

Ryan: I'm on a sabbatical right now. I'm not shooting a movie for another year and a half. No one's gonna know who the hell I am in like an hour. So I think you're- also like, let's be grateful for a second here.

Ryan: Not because you're marrying a guy named Ryan Reynolds but like, it could be so much worse. She could be marrying a guy named like, Glenn Mussolini.

[John and Hank laugh]

Ryan: Or you know, Shirley Wayne Gacey. You know this would be horrible and at least you know.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: As far as we know I'm not a murderer.

Hank: That is very true.

John: In my younger years I knew in Chicago a guy named Lance Armstrong. And what a journey he's been on. Because when I knew him he was like, Yes it's me Lance Armstrong not the Tour de France champion, but now he's like, Yes it's me Lance Armstrong not the disgraced Tour de France champion.

Ryan: Oh no! Oh no!

John: But I often think about this because I have such a common name and there are so many John Greens and I often feel like I'm inconveniencing some of them.

Hank: Oh for sure.

Ryan: Yeah.

John: And I do feel a little guilty about it. Like there's a John Green who's a wonderful author of graphic novels and comic books, and he had to change- he changed his author name to John Patrick Green recently and immediately hit the New York Times bestseller list and I was like, now maybe I need to change my name in turn.

Ryan: John Copernicus Green. You gotta just bring it (?~33:14). Just go for it.

John: Yeah. I do. Yeah. My parents of course gave me the middle name Michael as part of their efforts to make sure that I was as anonymous as possible.

[laughter]

Ryan: You know what this kid'll love? Privacy.

Hank: Yeah! And then you're like, no I think instead I will become the most famous John Green.

John: Yeah. How is- are there any other Hank Greens?

Ryan: Oh yeah.

Hank: There are. Actually because I read this question yesterday I looked it up and there's a number of them. And also! No this is actually what it was-- I was on Twitter and somebody tagged me-- there is a Hank Green who is the VP of food and beverages at AMC Theaters.

John: Wow.

Hank: And he's giving a talk soon so that's why I uh, why he came across my dashboard.

John: Good for him.

Ryan: AMC Food and Beverages?

John: Yeah.

Ryan: The movie chain.

Hank: Yeah.

Ryan: I thought I was talking to him today.

[laughter]

Hank: That's why I wanted to come on the podcast! Trying to sell my products to AMC Theaters!

Ryan: I thought this was a work call!

John: Just trying to shore up that relationship with Hank Green, head of food and beverage!

Hank: Very important guy.

Ryan: This is a relationship business, guys.

John: Have you heard any of the other Ryan Reynoldses? Have you ever come across another Ryan Reynolds?

Ryan: Uh, not too- I mean I'm a Ryan Rodney Reynolds. 

John: That's very rare.

Ryan: My middle name is Rodney. That's definitely a guy who drives a panel hand (?~34:36).

[laughter]

Ryan: I met- I never met a Ryan Reynolds but there was, I knew that there's a Ryan Reynolds who was a big time college football player.

John: Oh!

Ryan: I think he played for the Sooners, and he played maybe ten years ago or so, he was really good, he's probably still really good just not playing for the Sooners anymore. Otherwise no I don't think I've ever met a Ryan Reynolds.

John: Well, there is one who is about to get married.

Ryan: Yeah.

Hank: I think that this question was from a long time ago so-

John: So perhaps they're happily married now.

Ryan: I hope so too yeah. I did recently join LinkedIn.

John: Oh god.

Ryan: And there are quite a number of Ryan Reynolds on there as well.

John: Wow.

Ryan: Also my social media handles are Van city Reynolds which was from Vancouver because all my names- my name was taken on every platform, so I just went with (?~35:24).

Hank: For some reason, I always thought that that was- I have seen this handle and I thought that that was some reference to a large city of vans.

Ryan: Mmm!

Hank: Like just out in the desert, just a bunch of vans hanging out, like a Pixar movie.

Ryan: Yeah like a tent city but it's vans.

Hank: Yeah.

Ryan: No yeah it's not like a Nomadland sequel.

Hank: Okay.

Ryan: That eagerly anticipated Nomadland sequel that I'm doing. Yeah.

Hank: Van city.

John: I thought the cliffhanger ending was incredible.

Ryan: Right? I'll say!

John: I mean I really don't know which way they're gonna go with it.

Ryan: I can't believe they set- that whole movie was just an ad for part two. Uhhhh.

[laughter]

John: It's a really good movie though.

Ryan: It was a really good movie.

John: I don't usually like good movies.

Ryan: No.

John: Like properly good movies, but I really liked that one.

Ryan: Yeah. I don't like to learn about anything, and I felt like I learned, watching that one.

[Hank laughs]

John: Yeah.

Ryan: Felt like I was a better person when the credits rolled.

John: Yeah a little more emotionally engaged for sure.

Ryan: One hundred percent yeah. Totally.

Hank: I have no idea what you guys are talking about.

John: You've never seen Nomadland?

Ryan: You've never seen-

John: It won like, seventy three Oscars?

Ryan: Mmm hmm.

Hank: Look, I don't watch- I don't watch a lot of movies.

John: You- like me, you don't watch a lot of good movies.

Ryan: If there isn't an MTV Movie Award Best Kiss in it Hank has nothing to do with it. It doesn't even (?~36:39).

Hank: Exact- correct. You've uncovered my secret. This is how I make my decisions.

John: It's- my most prestigious award that I've ever received is an MTV- that's as high as I've gotten so far.

Hank: Got that popcorn.

John: Got that popcorn. Well I think I actually had to pay my own three hundred dollars to get the popcorn.

Hank: Well look, you got the popcorn!

Ryan: Owf! Come on! You're getting charged for that?

John: I don't want to- I don't want to- I don't want to be quoted on that cuz I might be wrong but that's my memory. Alright, we have another question from Kelsey who writes,
"Dear Ryan and John and Hank, Who decides which books become movies? Is there like somebody employed at every major film company whose only job is to read books and decide whether or not it should become a movie? Books and blockbusters, Kelsey."

[Hank laughs]

Hank: Oh god.

John: If only it were that simple.

Ryan: Wow.

Hank: You've asked the right group of people.

Ryan: Yeah. I'll say. Boy. I do know that they must have the thickest of skin. Because it's not too often that, you know, present company excluded, that, you know, that works out. Right?

John: Oh no, it almost never works out. Even present company included.

Ryan: Oh, I don't know.

John: What happens usually, Kelsey, is that either a- an actor or a producer- somebody who puts movies together usually options the rights to make a book into a movie,

and then with those rights, either works with a movie studio or with a production company of some kind to try to get a script written, and then they try to get a movie studio to green light the script, perhaps already having found a director or some actors to help package it together as a unit, and then the movie gets made. So there are so many steps along the way, in my experience anyway-

Hank: Yeah lots of people make decisions. Like it's down to so many different people.

Ryan: Sometimes even then it doesn't- I mean I remember there was a book by John Kennedy Toole called A Confederacy of Dunces, and that was adapted six ways from Sunday. Every person was attached to it at different points, it all came together with directors and budgets and all that kind of stuff, and it would always fall apart. And I think it always fell apart because the principals involved would then read the book and go, Oh we can't do this. What are we, insane?!

[laughter]

Ryan: So that's, yeah.

John: This can't be a movie!

Ryan: No!

John: But yeah, that's a great example where I think like the first actor associated with the Confederacy of Dunces project was Paul Newman.

Ryan: [laughs] Oh my- was that true?

John: I think so. And at some point I know Will Ferrell was attached to it.

Ryan: Will Ferrell. Drew Barrymore was attached to it, um-

John: [laughing] Every comic actor of the last fifty years has been attached to it at some point.

Ryan: John Candy was attached to it. John Candy was attached to it.

Hank: Whoa.

John: Yeah oh and he would've been amazing, but again, it is unfilmable, so I think that is perhaps the underlying issue.

Ryan: Yes, it is unfilmable. And also problematic in our current-

John: Yeah, hugely problematic.

Ryan: And it's just like- yeah yeah yeah yeah.

John: Yeah. With my books, I mean I've had- usually when something gets greenlit, and when the studio starts to spend a bunch of money, it happens. But.

Ryan: Mm.

John: My first novel Looking For Alaska was something like twenty or twenty five days away from the start of production and was largely cast and you know, people had moved--

Hank: Yeah.

John: --their families to the place where it was gonna film,

and then it got cancelled at the very last second.

Ryan: Oh.

John: And I think that happens, but what usually happens is that somebody options the book, they try really hard to get a good script, and it just never works.

Hank: Yeah. Yeah.

John: And that happens- I mean, ninety five percent at least of the stuff that gets optioned never gets made.

Ryan: Mm. Yeah.

John: It's also just so expensive! I mean think about how much it-like what represents success for a book a lot of times is if it reaches say fifty thousand people, that's a very successful book. But a film, even a small budget film, cannot reach fifty thousand people and make money.

Ryan: No. Yeah there's a lot to consider.

John: The scale of it's just very different.

Hank: Yeah it is.

Ryan: Yeah.

John: Alright Hank, we should probably get to the all-important news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon, which I'm not sure that strictly speaking Ryan needs to join us for but I do- before we get to the news from AFC Wimbledon and before we say thank you and goodbye to Ryan, I do wanna say that down there in the fifth tier of English football, where AFC Wimbledon was not long ago--

Ryan: [laughs] No.

John: --Just a decade ago AFC Wimbledon was trying to get out of the National League which is one of the hardest things to do in English football because there's only two promotion slots.

Ryan: Yes. Very tricky.

John: It's very tricky. And Wrexham I believe is currently in fifth, they've been working their way up, they had a rough start to the season if I remember correctly Ryan.

Ryan: Mm hmm.

John: And they've been working their way up.

Ryan: Very correct yeah.

John: What's the current Wrexham vibe and mood?

Ryan: Uh, I would say that the mood is- the mood is never going to be good enough until we're promoted, I think.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: But overall I think that this has been embraced by the community. I think we've understood from the get go and certainly from talking to you John who was one of the- we talked about it's like really kind of making sure that this was an in-tandem project with both the club and the community around it.

John: Mm hmm, mm hmm.

Ryan: So it's been great. I mean for us, it's been one of the most satisfying, wonderful things that I've ever been involved with. And also the most excruciating.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: You know, football will quite literally just chew and blow bubbles with your soul.

[laughter]

Ryan: And it's a terrible feeling.  And that rollercoaster ride is something that I am still struggling with. Like I actually struggle to watch the matches sometimes because I just find it-

John: Physically painful.

Ryan: Yes. I'm physiologically inside out by the time it's done. Like my bones are hanging outside of my ears and head and my spine is somewhere across the room. It's just an awful experience. So yes it's both a curse and it is the beautiful game. You know you understand why it is that.

Hank: Yeah.

Ryan: I'm very lucky to be involved with Wrexham.

John: That's awesome. Well, we will be watching Wrexham throughout the rest of the season and hoping that promotion is on the cards for them.

Ryan: May I ask how Wimbledon's doing right now? How is Wimbledon? Cuz I-- you know, they're--

John: Well--

Ryan: Because that's a storied project as well.

John: Yeah it's amazing! They just won a football game which is wonderful.

Hank: Heyyy!

John: And a big relief. I watched the game on my phone. We were playing Accrington Stanley, which is one of those place-- team names that just sounds absolutely made up.

Ryan: Yes it's (?~43:11)

[Hank laughs]

John: But we were playing Accrington Stanley, away, up there in the north of England where the sky is very close to the ground, and I would say the wind was averaging about fifty five miles per hour, the rain was lashing horizontally throughout the game, and from the moment it started I was like, This has nil nil written all over it.

Ryan: Mm.

John: We have no chance of winning this game. And then we did the most disastrous thing for us this season, which is that we scored. And this season when Wimbledon score first, they have lost almost every game, and when they give up the first goal, they are much more likely to win.

Ryan: Wow.

John: And so the moment we scored I was like, Oh this is a catastrophe.

Ryan: Yeah.

[Hank laughs]

John: But then, then we scored again and I was like, I don't even know how this feels. We haven't had a two goal lead all season!

[laughter]

John: And it felt great! It was extremely enjoyable and then we ended up winning the game so thank you to Luke McCormick and Ayoub Assal for giving me a wonderful week and now we are way up in seventeenth place in League One.

Ryan: Oh!

John: Well out of the relegation zone for the moment which is just awesome!

Ryan: League One! That's amazing though. League One!

John: I know.

Ryan: That's no joke!

John: I know.

Hank: You'll get there.

Ryan: We're on our way. We're on our way.

John: I know. I know. 

Hank: It's possible. The third tier. League One. It's been a sharp learning curve for me, all of the lingo. It's a lot.

Ryan: Yeah.

John: The fact that League One is the third tier could not be more confusing.

Ryan: Yes that is true. That is true.

Hank: It's not even the second one!

Ryan: No.

John: They don't make it easy.

Ryan: No not at all.

John: Hey Hank, what's the news from Mars?

Hank: Um, the news from Mars is I feel the same way about the James Webb Space Telescope as you guys do about football [Ryan makes a hissing sound?] and so I am- my bones are on the outside of my body. The James Webb Space Telescope has met its rocket. They are friends now. And they now are- they're gonna hang out for a pretty long time until they're in space.

So that's terrifying. The launch is currently scheduled for the 22nd and it's all I can think about. No offense Mars, but I'm stuck on the James Webb Space Telescope frame.

If you're wondering the sort of schedule of events, the launch is a scary time but it remains scary for about a month, but really like six months even. So two weeks is the scariest time, then a month, then six months. So if we get through two weeks, then that's amazing. That's the amount of time it takes for the space telescope to unfold into its full configuration.

If it is unable to do that for some reason, it will not work. Uh, and it has a lot of moving parts. But, they've all been tested extensively.

And then a month is when it is in its stable orbit where it gets- like arrives at the place where it's gonna live for the whole of its mission, and then six months is when it actually starts to take pictures of space.

John: Okay.

Hank: So there's a long period of time of like calibration after it sort of is like open and on and doing its work. But we get what's called first light like six months after launch.

John: Wow.

Hank: So it's a long period of sort of nerves but the first two weeks are the most nervous time. Well I should actually say that the launch is probably the most dangerous time. But um. That's all I'm thinking about. Love ya Mars, I'll be back soon.

John: Yeah I watched an eleven minute video about how the James Webb Space Telescope is going to launch and unfurl and everything, and my palms were drenched with sweat as I was watching it and thinking about it.

Hank: It's very scary, yeah. (?~46:41)

John: It's a lot. It's just so many years of the hard work of really smart, talented, dedicated people and we just hope it goes well.

Hank: Yeah. John, Ryan, thank you for podcasting with me. Thank you to everybody who sent in your questions to hankandjohn at gmail dot com. You never know when an old one's gonna get dug up because Ryan Reynolds is gonna be on the podcast!

John: That's right! Indeed! And Ryan, thank you so much for joining us. It's such a pleasure to be with you. Before we go I have to tell you my kids made me promise that I would say that they love Free Guy. I love it too.

Ryan: Yes.

John: I have to love it cuz I've seen it seven times. But they really, really love it. You know how kids love to re-watch movies. And it is like their number one choice right now.

Ryan: Aww.

John: So thank you. Thank you for Free Guy. Henry and Alice say hi.

Ryan: That means the world to me. Tell your kids that means the world to me.

John: I will.

Ryan: Because I-- thank you Henry and Alice. And that's- yeah, my blood sweat and tears went into that one and we worked really really hard on that one. It was kind of an antidote to the insane four or five years that we've had in the last little while and I thank you for that. I really appreciate that.

John: Yeah, it's a really fun movie, thanks for making it.

Ryan: Guys, thank you for having me on! Also, hit me up anytime someone cancels last minute. Just let me know (?~47:56).

John: Alright, we will!

Hank: Cuz you're free all the time!

Ryan: Well no no, I actually have that sort of thing with Jimmy Fallon and I always love it. Like if someone has to cancel and I'll like- cuz I live in New York. It's fun. It makes it fun.

John: Oh yeah yeah.

Hank: Awesome.

Ryan: It's probably good advice for Bergen, our auditioning friend, you know, to not think about it too much. Sometimes you show up out of nowhere and you just go and you're awesome.

John: Yeah.

Ryan: Don't be in your head too much.

Hank: And you have our contact info if you need us for anything. I don't know what you would need us for, but-

John: I mean if you ever need somebody to get cut out of a movie, I'm your guy.

Ryan: I've needed you in the past, so- right? Done.

John: We are off now to record our Patreon-only podcast This Week in Stuff which you can find at patreon dot com slash dear hank and john. That was super fun!

Hank: That was fun! This podcast is edited by Joseph "Tuna" Metesh. It's produced by Rosiana Halse Rojas. Our communications coordinator is Julia Bloom. Ryan's friend Sophia Travalia (?~48:38) helped a lot getting this all put together so thanks to her.

John: Thank you Sophia.

Hank: Our editorial assistant is Deboki Chakravarti. The music you're hearing now is by the great Gunnarolla. And as they say in our hometown--

All: Don't forget to be awesome.