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John Green is a Fortnite Pacifist #7

YouTube: https://youtube.com/watch?v=10wpAZAh1NY
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Duration:13:48
Uploaded:2018-08-03
Last sync:2023-12-03 02:00
In which John goes to Tomato Town.
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 (00:00) to (02:00)


- Hello! My name is John Green, and I play Fortnite as a pacifist. The rules are simple: I do not shoot first. And I am going to find a way to win. I can do this! I believe in myself! I have with me my child labor, Jacob Carroll. His brother, Noah, is away at camp, so is unavailable. But I think Jacob's been doing a great job.


The big issue with winning Fortnite as a pacifist is me. I have not been good enough, and I want to apologize. Jacob, where are we gonna go here? It looks like--

- We could go to Junk Junction.

- We could go to Junk Junction. We had a really good game that started at Junk Junction once.

- Actually, don't go to Junk Junction.

- Don't go to Junk Junction.

- There's challenges this week, and we want--

- Okay. There's challenges at Junk Junction, so let's go--how about Pleasant Park? No? Too populous? Can I throw out an idea that we just go to the top of a mountain somewhere?

- We need to get some meds.

- You're very worried about meds! What about Anarchy Acres? Will there be meds at Anarchy Acres? What about--

- We could go to Tomato Town.

- Tomato Town. Alright, we'll go to Tomato Town.

- Isn't there a secret tunnel there?

- "Isn't there a secret tunnel there?" asks Henry.

- I have no idea.

- I also do not know about the secret Tomato Town tunnel. Okay.

- You should get off.

- I should get off? Okay. 

- It's right--it's the little--oh, with the tomato head on top.

- It's go the tomato head on top of it. That guy is hopefully not going to Tomato Town.

- He got taken by the rift.

- Okay. Okay. Let's see. What's "the rift?" 


- After the rocket launch, it created--it's over there. You might need to move a little to the left. Yeah.

- Okay, I'm headed to Tomato Town. The question is, "is anyone else headed to Tomato Town?"

- Probably not.

- Probably not?

- Yeah. Or one person, but I doubt it.

- Okay.

- Usually nobody goes here.

- Okay. What about that little house?

- We can go there after if you want to.

- Okay.

- See that? That's a rift right there.

- That's a rift?

- Yeah. It gets bigger as the game keeps going.

- Do I want to run into those? Or not?

- No.

- Okay. Now, I'm in Tomato Town.

- Okay, go in there. Oh, there's a chest in there. That's good. Hopefully it has meds.

- Okay, there's a chest in there and we're gonna hope it has meds. 


 (02:00) to (04:00)


- Okay, go up. Yep. Open it. Shield.

- It did not have meds, but it did have a shield which I'm going to use now. Uh, I'm gonna--

- Wait.

- No? You don't agree with this strategy?

- No, because there's--you can't--

- Oh, because I should have gone for the small shield first?

- Yeah.

- Well, I'm not very good. What can I say? Maybe something's in here? I don't want any of that stuff. That's--those are--violence, violence everywhere! Okay, I'm looking for a med pack.

- Go inside there.

- Go inside--

- The little buildings to your right. To your left. To your left. Right there.

- Okay. Go inside this little building. There's just ammo, which I don't need. I've never--I've hardly ever shot my gun ever, and when I do it's in a fit of panic, and it goes poorly.  That's a cool gun that whoever kills me will enjoy. And--

- And go to the little taco shop.

- Go into the little taco shop.

- What taco shop?

- Right there. It's right here, Henry. It says tacos, see? It says tacos!

- I don't like tacos.

- Okay. Well, the fact that you don't like tacos is important to know, but also not incredibly, I don't think--here's my concern. I don't see any med packs in Tomato Town.

- Yep.

- Okay, we are on our way to this red house that looks pretty saggy. It's obviously been--we don't know exactly what's happened in the Fortnite universe, but it's obviously been a difficult time for humanity. This is not a part of the house.

- Yeah, it's like a storage--

- Also I can't help but notice that a lot of these homes have exceptionally poor architecture, and I don't know if that's part of why we found ourselves in an apocalyptic situation, but it is--

- Wait, go back down.

- Go back down.

- There's another door you can open to your--right there.

- Okay. Oh, this is a nice room! Why would that door go outside? That doesn't make any sense whatsoever. It's like these homes were designed by people who wanted homes to be unlivable.


 (04:00) to (06:00)


Alright, is that a med pack? No, that's just metal.

- Wait, look inside--go back.

- Okay.

- Look inside there. Sometimes there's a chest, sometimes there's not. You don't have to knock it down.

- I don't have to knock it down? But I want to.

- Yeah, but now everyone knows the house is damaged.

- Oh, how do they know?

- Because they can see a missing, like, wall.

- Oh. There's a lot of doors.

- Oh, there's meds.

- Oh, there we go! We did it! Okay.

- Now we can go upstairs, if you wanted to try building.

- How do I go upstairs? There's an upstairs?

- You have to build there. Yeah. You have to click b.

- I have to click b, and then click this.

- Yep. And then click--build it. And now hit the ceiling above it with your pickaxe.

- Okay. And so I hit b again, and I hit the ceiling above it with my pickaxe.

- And you want to aim for those blue circles.

- Oh, I want to aim for the blue circles. Well--

- Okay, so now jump up.

- I can't.

- Yeah, you have to jump, like, corner to corner. Yeah, jump up there.

- How?

- You jump into, like, the most open spot.

- Okay, I jump into the most open spot. Ah, I made it. That feels good.

- So go back. Go to--right there. Sometimes there's a chest.

- There is a chest. Really good job! I would never have guessed that this would have a chest.

- Oh, that's a really good gun but--

- What is a really good gun?

- The scar.

- The scar? What a horrible--this one?

- No, the purple one.

- The purple one? This one?

- Yeah.

- Alright.

- You wanna drink that.

- And I'll drink the shield potion now.

- I think that's--wait, isn't that, like, the one shot kill one?

- No.

- Oh.

- No. I'm not gonna kill anyone. That's the central fact of me playing this game. Okay, what do I--

- You can leave now.

- I'm gonna leave this--I'm gonna leave, and I'm--

- Now we gotta find a bush.

- Would you agree with the strategy that it's time to find a bush?

- Yes, because we have meds.

- We have meds.

- And as long as the other player we're going up against doesn't have any meds.

 (06:00) to (08:00)


- Okay, so we have meds, and we are going to find--

- Other way.

- --a bush this way.

- Cause that's--

- What I'd really like to do is I'd like to be, like, up there.

- Okay.

- Okay, so I'm gonna give you an update on where we are. I'm in the circle. I have built onto a high point, where I can't help but notice there are very few bushes which is a source of some concern for me. And Jacob's suggestion is that I build a house. I worry though, that if I build a house, Jacob--I'm in the top sixteen. I worry that if I build a house instead of running to a bush, people are gonna know that I'm in the house. 

- Oh, there's lots of bushes right there.

- Let's go to the bushes, man.

- Oh wait, is there a person next to them though? Keep--look back. No, it's not.

- Okay, let's go to the bushes. We're going to the bushes. We're going to the bushes, and we're just gonna have to hope--that's a far drop. 

- You can go back down the ramp that you made. Go to your left. Left, left.

- Well, I want to see--can I look and see if there's a bush up here somewhere?

- Yeah, but that's--yeah. Yeah, I guess. Yeah.

- But do you think that, like, people are gonna know?

- No, I just don't know if there is one. There's less bushes on top.

- Oh, there's fewer bushes on top of hills apparently. Okay, well yeah, it doesn't look great from a bush perspective at the moment.

- Yeah.

- So the nearest bush is down there.

- Yeah.

- Okay.

- You can go in that one. Yeah, right there.

- Okay. Where's my--

- Ramp?

- Where's my ramp?

- Go straight.

- Okay.

- Keep going. You can sprint.

- Okay, I'm gonna start sprinting. And--

- To your--right there.

- There's my ramp. What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna go down my ramp. It's been useful, don't get me wrong. But it's time. It's time. It's time for me to go into a bush. What that is, basically--actually, now it occurs to me, that whole thing--

- Go to your left a little bit more. Yeah.

- Don't I want to go to that bush?

- I'm trying to get you in the most center of the circle, and that's pretty close to the outside.

- Alright, so you wanna go this way?

- Yeah.

- I don't see a bush over here, though.

 (08:00) to (10:00)


- It's the two--they're right there.

- These bushes.

- Those are the two that we were looking at from the top.

- Okay, alright. Of these two bushes, this one seems the most-- (screams) I've been shot! I've been shot!

- Just run away. Run behind the trees. He's coming from behind you. No, the other way. Run to your right. And keep jumping. You can probably escape them.

- No, I don't think so. I don't think--it's not looking good at the moment. I'm down to the last twelve and it's not looking great! I'm getting shot left and right! I'm jumping! I'm jumping! I'm struggling to jump a little bit because I think my health is poor. Okay, I'm gonna go to this bush. 

- Yes, and crouch in it.

- I'm gonna go to this bush. I'm getting in this bush.

- And then take those bandages. And look at the direction they're shooting you from just to make sure he's not coming.

- Well, he's definitely coming. Why wouldn't he come to kill me?

- Cause he doesn't know where you are.

- Okay. Alright. Well, that--I mean look, let's be honest, that is not great for our strategy.

- There he is.

- There he is. Does he know that I'm in this bush?

- No, he has no idea.

- Okay. I mean, at this point I have to say--

- Oh, you're right on the edge!

- --my worldview is that that person wished me ill. They shot me seven times, and so if that person comes back, I will--I am willing to shoot them. Reluctantly, but I think it's the right thing to do because they clearly wished me harm. 

I'm worried about all the people who are gonna be coming from Dusty Divot, you know what I mean?

- Uh-huh.

- The people behind me?

- Go forward a little, so your head's a little bit more hidden.

- Yeah, that's not good though, from that perspective. What about over here? No, no. You know what? This is not gonna be the perfect bush--

- Uh-huh.

- --and I'm just gonna have to hope that people aren't looking at bushes.

- Yeah. There's nine people.

- There's nine people left. I have--

- We have one bandage.

- I have one bandage. It's not great. I'm happy to admit that, like, this hasn't gone as we dreamt it would.

 (10:00) to (12:00)


That bush is closer to the middle.

- Yes, we could go there if you want to.

- I'm just gonna go now, because I think if I wait it's gonna be worse.

- Don't jump though, because then people can see you.

- Okay. Alright, and then I'm just gonna get in this bush because I think that this is a better bush.

- Yes it is.

- Oh that is a--whoa, what a bush! Oh my god, it's fantastic! And there's flowers.

- Look behind you.

- Can we take a second, Jacob? Just to appreciate the flowers in what is probably the last two or three minutes of our lives. Like, let's look at the beautiful symmetry of flowers waving in a soft, calm wind and be grateful for this moment, alive in this broken world, that there is still life. There are still flowers. And there is still hope: the hope that the remaining eight people, like me, do not want to harm anyone for any reason. 

Okay. Now we're just gonna have to hope that when the circle closes again, it closes with us in the middle of it. Seven people remain. That means there is--I'm not a scientist, but I think that means it's me and six other people. It's been a--

- There's building over there.

- There's building over where?

- Look up and look to your right a little bit.

- Look up and to your right a little bit. Hm?

- I mean, left. Left.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah.

- I saw something finishing building over there.

- Yeah, it looks like there's some building over there. I mean at this point if I were--you know, the funny thing is if we'd stayed up there, I think we'd be in good shape.

- That wasn't where we were.

- Oh, that's not where we were. Okay. Well then I feel good about the way we've played this game. Probably could have dealt with it a little bit better.

- I mean, we still survived that one guy.

- We survived that one guy attacking us, which is great. We used bandages, which I think is the first time I've ever successfully used meds without dying. I feel like I've learned something and made progress, but the truth is there is only--to be honest with you--and there's a beautiful field of wildflowers in the distance there, which is really lovely.

- Five other people.

- Only five other people. I'm a little--like, I understand that playing Fortnite the way that I do, saying to Epic Games, "I refuse to give in to your battle royal situation and lose my humanity.

 (12:00) to (13:48)


I refuse to treat other people as if they're animals and assume the worst of them." You can see someone jumping in the distance there. I understand that that is not often going to result in me winning the game. And I'm okay with that, but gosh, I would like something more than a moral victory.

I would love a real victory, Jacob. So, we'll see. We'll see here. It doesn't look like anybody else is coming in from this side of the storm to me.

- No.

- And we just--I mean, this is such a great bush. It's gonna be a bummer to--

- He's not shooting at you.

- Does he know where I am?

- No.

- Oh, I'm right on the cusp of it. What do you think?

- Yeah, stay there. I think you'll be okay.

- You think I'll be okay?

- And if you have to you can move a little bit. Like, you can move--

- Is there a bush--I'm just trying to see if we have a bush plan. A sort of back up bush situation. And we--

- I think you're gonna be in it.

- You think I'm gonna be in. Okay.

- If not, you can run to that bush right there in the circle.

- That bush is probably gonna be in.

- Yes. It will be in, but I would not do it now.

- No, certainly not, because I see someone in the distance. There's only three people other than me remaining. I've got a chance. I only have one bandage. I wish that guy hadn't shot me. It was so rude of him.

- He is--oh.

- He saw me.

- That's the guy who started shooting us before.

- That's the mean guy! You jerk!

- That was just a lucky guess. He didn't see you. He just was shooting at bushes.

- Well, it worked. He was right to shoot at bushes. He's gonna be so excited about my golden gun!

- Oh, yeah. He probably has one by now.

- Oh.

- He's got six kills.

- Alright, congratulations guy from Germany (I assume based on the second half of your name). Thank you for watching. We're gonna give it another go. Best wishes.
Questions? Problems? Email barrkj@gmail.com.
To contact John or Hank, please visit hankandjohn.com.
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