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I'm Dr. Lindsey Doe, clinical sexologist and host of this sex-curious show, Sexplanations! This episode is sponsored by the ever-so-delightful I'm going to remind you about this at the end.

[Sexplanations intro animation & throat-clearing noise]

It's been a while since I've answered your sex questions. Let's do it!

"What's your opinion on douching for anal sex?" I'm all for people making choices about their own bodies! Here's an anal sex prep video all about it. Personally, I choose to not douche and use in-condoms instead.

"Sex/masturbation ideas for pre-gender reaffirmation surgery trans women that don't involve giving the penis any attention and not anal." Ooh! I love it when I can reference work I've already done! Here's a video, and this one on 150 sex acts. My non-penis, non-anal favorites are, 1) putting pressure on the mons, just above the pubic bones, holding my hands like a cunt, oral sex, nipple stimulation, butt grabbing and your imagination. Inner thigh, neck(???) and drawing on my underwear can get touched like a pussy and that can lead to orgasm.

"Reclaining sexual identity after genital cutting or other sexual/body trauma/disfigurement?" Actually, a lot of what I was just mentioning and this video on sexual grievances and this one on reclaiming sex. Talk to others who've experienced similar body changes and/or trauma. Sharing is one of the most powerful tools we have. At least for me, it helps me move through grief to acceptance and reclamation.

"How soon in advance could you reasonable give consent?" You can agree to something waaaaay in advance like I agreed to be dressed in mushroom spore pajamas when I die so my body decomposes rather than polluting the planet. That was back in 2011. Consent is an intent in a specific context. Agree to do something and then check in again at the time. Things change. Minds change. Context changes. It's okay to be disappointed; it's not okay to rape.

"Is it harmful to masturbate in prone position without an erection being a male?" Prone as in on your stomach. In this video, I briefly mentioned traumatic masturbatory syndrome. Masturbating in a prone position often for long durations, often without other forms of stimulation, which is correlated with erectile difficulty. With or without an erection, it is noted by clinicians that rubbing against surfaces like one's bed or underwear may "deaden the tissue." More about it in the description.

"Is there a way to stop wanting it? Because, oh boy, is it distracting?" Wanting it, like sex? Consult an endocrinologist about changes in your hormones. Remove hormone-producing body parts like testicles or ovaries. Exercise a lot or generally wear yourself out. Having kids works for lots of people and so does work stress and school stress. Anything that physically and mentally exhausts you is helpful but not a guarantee. Desire is not completely understood and notorious for being out of our control. 

"How do I get it?" The sex? Imade a video for you on how to find a partner. There are other methods too. Sky and Max can tell you all about them in this video.

"How do I get over a lack of drive due to medication?" I love that I have so many videos to give you a more comprehensive answer to your individual questions!

"Do you have any sex-related memes that you want to share?" *laughs* Gray sweatpants. This is a real thing and I love that it makes me think about things, like is this sexualizing men? ahh.

"Can a man still ejaculate as much semen as before getting a vasectomy? If yes, is it still as enjoyable during orgasm?" Sperm takes up so little volume in ejaculate, less than 6%. The first few may be uncomfortable as your body adjusts to the surgery you just had but this should subside. If it doesn't and orgasm isn't enjoyable, please talk to your doctor about it.

"What to look out for in a threesome and moresomes?" Consent. Initially, shared values and ability to communicate, specifically negotiate. Are they honest, trustworthy? Do you want to have private sex with them and will they respect that? Then I look out for sexually transmitted infections. Do they have any pathogens? When was the last time they were tested and for what? What kind of protection is available to prevent transmission in the future? Do they want the same things from a sexual experience? Or better ones?

"Is it healthy to take breaks like 1 or 2 months from masturbating?" Depends on context and intent. Here's my frequency rant.

"What is the best way for a girl to masturbate with her fingers (genuine question)?" With clean hands, slowly to start, very curiously, and patiently. This video on masturbation isn't specifically for girls or fingers but it has more suggestions. I'm working on a fingering episode.

"Can you have zero interest in sex or be asexual and still participate in kink? (I already know the answer but I see lots of people making up nonsense about this, so maybe they will stop assuming kink *has* to lead to sex if an expert sexologist gives the answer.)" Okay you can have zero interest in sex or be asexual and still participate in kink. I did a dungeon tour with Count Boogie where we demonstrated kink activities on my body. For me, it was not sexual and we did not have sex. BDSM focuses on power control, consent, sensation, and relationships. Often, there's no genital contact. Often, there's no orgasm and this can be the case even if you're a highly sexual person interested in having sex.

"How to be more comfortable/confident/self-assured(especially in dom/sub roles where someone may be more comfortable in one dynamic but wants to be more comfortable with the other too)?" When I first started Sexplanations, I didn't know how to host a YouTube channel. To learn, I watched other specifically their blooper reels, which helped me take things in stride and not expect perfection. So ask other subs and doms to share their victories and mistakes with you. Having a mentor can make an enormous difference. For example, Nicholas Jenkins was mine for a lot of Sexplanations. He gave solid direction and held a safe place for me to practice. Fortunately, a lot of what you learn now as opposed to what you learned when you were a child is based on a vast foundation of knowledge and abilities. Hosting, for example, was new, but teaching and dancing and asking questions and being a good friend were skills I already had, which apply to the part of being your teacher! Find someone you respect to guide you and put in time. A lot of intentional time learning and stay curious.

You do not need toys to be happy or sexual, but PUBLIC CERVIX ANNOUNCEMENT, they are wonderful ways to enhance your experience and treat yourself. Adam & Eve will give you 50% off an eligible item in your shopping cart and free shipping to the US and Canada.

I'm gonna tell you all about it. Look! These two! This one I've already shown you but I need to revisit it because look at this new realization. You can take off this end and you can take off this end and you can press this power button to make it vibrate. On one side, it has studs; on the other side it has ribs. This is great for personal diversity. And docking! Two dicks, right? This one? This one has been inside my body. It was a great experience, remember? Remember that? You can get one for yourself. Do your own experiments...

*clapping and scatting* Sex work!