Charlie: Good morning, I'm Charlie.

Jimmy: Good morning, I'm Jimmy.

C: And today on the show, 25 things you'll only understand if you're a mother of twins from South Dakota with one arm who has a budgie named Terrence and is allergic to bees?

J: Wow. It's Cereal Time.

(Intro)

C: Howdy howdy, cereal poppets! Welcome back to the show. Welcome to another Fan Friday where we do stuff just for you, just for our fans.

J: Well, we always do it just for you, but Fridays we give ourselves... It's just a little opportunity for us to go a bit mad, isn't it?

C: Yeah.

J: Do what we want.

J: And today we're having a look through some BuzzFeed articles, you know those BuzzFeed articles that go "X Amount of Things You'll Only Understand If..." So "12 Things You'll Only Understand If You're a Vegetarian From Birmingham".

C: And we were just looking through them the other day, just in the office, and being, like, "I mean, I understand at least 5 of these things, I don't understand all of them".

J: Yeah.

C: But surely if you understand one of the things-

J: It undermines the whole...

C: -then you've, you've undermined the entire concept.

J: So that's what we're gonna do today.

C: We're just gonna undermine BuzzFeed lists.

J: We're gonna see how many things, that aren't meant for us, that we understand.

C: It's nice and simple.

J: There's nothing more to it. So we're gonna start with, this is an amazing one, "15 Thing You'll Only Understand If You're Slightly Obsessed With Tupperware".

C: I kind of take offence at the idea of you being slightly obsessed with something.

J: Yeah, it's a total contradiction. You can't be slightly obsessed.

C: Yeah. Anyway.

J: You can be slightly into something, but not slightly obsessed.

C: "So, you've graduated from the basics. Yeah, this IKEA set is okay, but the lids aren't secure enough".

J: That is true.

C: Yeah? Do you understand that?

J: I can relate to that. I'm not slightly obsessed with Tupperware though, but I can...

C: You do have, like, glass Tupperware though.

J: Yeah, but not because I'm obsessed with it, just 'cause it's practical.

C: Right, okay.

J: It's not an obsession, it's not an interest.

C: "You are embarrassingly committed to one style".

J: What? I don't relate to that, that would be weird.

C: No. I... Yeah.

J: That would be weird. I don't understand that.

C: OK. "You are prepared for every snacking occasion."

J: That's just general preparedness. (Charlie laughs) I don't know what it has to do with with the fundamental topic of the article.

C: All right, "And you've always got enough to share." You know what? I don't understand this.

J: I don't understand this, I think that's fair enough. This article, I'm not relating to it at all.

C: Yeah.

J: We've tried it, let's move onto the next one.

C: "You wouldn't dream of taking someone's Tupperware". Sorry, I'm sort of absorbed.

J: I would. I would.

C: All right, let's have a look at the next one. "19 Thing You'll Only Understand If You're A Woman Who Hates Shaving".

J: Okay, right, this is us.

C: All right. (Laughs) "Shaving is the worst chore ever, legs, armpits, bikini line; it's a task you regularly try to avoid doing." Right off the bat I relate to this.

J: You relate to that?

C: Yeah.

J: Do you shave your whole body? 

C: I don't shave my whole body.

J: Are you completely smooth? (Charlie and Josh laugh) Hairless Charlie?

C: It would be nice though, wouldn't it?

J: It would be really... Well, it would be odd.

C: Yeah. It would be odd.

J: It'd be... I don't know how I'd feel about it.

C: But...

J: It wouldn't really affect me, I guess. It's not my decision to make.

C: Obviously...

J: I don't like shaving my face, that is a chore.

C: This is, this is the thing, as simple, as simple as that. Don't like shaving my face.

J: Yeah.

C: Will often put it off because it is just a chore.

J: It's a chore, it's bor... Nobody likes doing it, you cut yourself, razors are expensive. So, so far...

C: Sorted.

J: We've under... So we've ticked that one off!

C: Yeah, done.

J: OK.

C: Do you want to see if there are any more?

J: Take that, BuzzFeed.

C: Just to make ourselves feel better.

J: "It's not the fact that shaving takes a long time, it's that razors are down right evil". Uh...

C: I mean, they're fine, aren't they?

J: Yeah.

C: But...

J: Cut... "No matter how careful you are you always manage to cut yourself". Yeah.

C: I do cut myself fairly often.

J: I can relate to that.

C: Right.

J: Ooh, "You missed a spot." Yeah, we can relate to this one.

C: Yeah.

J: That's fine. We can move on.

C: Human beings who shave their bodies. It's a thing. "19 Things You'll Only Understand If You're Dating a Northerner".

J: OK, I am a northerner.

C: Right.

J: So... I'm not dating myself, by the way, but I can relate to being northern as a concept.

C: Right, OK. Got it. "You won't admit but you're secretly jealous of their northern accent." Hmm.

J: Are you jealous of my northern accent?

C: No.

J: No?

C: It's nice but...

J: Josh, are you jealous of it?

C: I don't wish I had it.

Josh: Not really.

J: Not jealous of it? Oh, weird.

C: Yeah.

J: You guys jealous of my northern accent? "But their beautiful northern lilt can sometimes be a language barrier." "I'm chuffed to bits with that," that's what someone says.

C: I could understand just fine.

J: Yeah? It's fine?

C: No problem.

J: "Things get really confusing when they use dialect".

C: Mither?

J: Mither just means moaning, doesn't it?

C: Yeah, I didn't, I didn't get that.

J: I know that and that's proper north. That's like Sheffield.

C: All right. "There are some things you'll never agree on. A bath (barth) filled with grass (grarse) or a bath (barth) filled with grass (grarse)". What's that?

J: A bath filled with grass.

C: Grass?

J: Bath filled with grass, that's how you say it.

C: Bath (barth) filled with grass (grarse).

J: No, bath filled with grass. Oh, see, we're disagreeing! We're like the BuzzFeed article's come to life! What's the next one?

C: Yeah, I relate to that wholeheartedly 'cause of that thing we just experienced just then. "19 Things You'll Only Understand If You're the Family Tech Support." Firstly "You only fell into the role because of your willingness to help." Are you the family tech support?

J: I do help my mum a lot with tech support.

C: Yeah?

J: She'll quite often call me up, she's having a printer error or something's happened to her iPad and I'll try and talk her through the steps. But less so now. She's got quite good with technology now, but when I was younger I was probably the tech support.

C: My mum's not the problem, it's my brother. He'll phone me up.

J: Really?

C: Yeah.

J: Not... And he's young, isn't he?

C: Yeah.

J: Wow.

C: No, he is.

J: So I mean they're we go. That's ageism, ageism isn't it. "And because of your kind and caring attitude whenever you visit family there's a list of tech related chores waiting to be done."

C: This is one of those things where I am the family tech support and I can't relate to this.

J: Can't relate to it.

C: No.

J: Yeah.

C: This is weird.

J: "But at least dealing with tasks in person is better than trying to give advice over the phone." That is true, it is hard to give advice over the phone. I think we're debunking that one.

C: Yeah, wholeheartedly. Let's try one more. What's the, what's the one I want to tackle most?

J: So many, there's so many.

C: "21 Things, 21 Things You'll Only Understand If You Have an Evil Cat".

J: Oh. Is your cat evil? I don't have a cat.

C: My cat is not evil. He is a, he's a dope.

J: Yeah.

C: But he's not... OK, let's have a look.

J: He's not got a bad bone in his body, has he? He's just a cat.

C: "Your cat is constantly trying to steal your food." I relate.

J: Is it evil though?

C: He's not evil.

J: I don't know if it's evil, it's just hungry.

C: "Yet when you try to give them food to buy their love, they reject you." I relate.

J: Can you relate to that? You can relate.

C: I do relate.

J: Ooh, it's #relatable, guys, oh my God.

C: "You can't wear certain items of clothing because your cat has covered them in hair." Yeah.

J: You relate to that also?

C: I do relate to that.

J: You need a sticky roller. (Makes roller noises)

C: This is not about having an evil cat, it's just about having a cat.

J: This is having a cat, this is what all cats are like.

C: It's just do you own a cat? All right. Let's do, let's look at one more. "Your cat never lets you take cute pictures with them." Don't relate.

J: You've got some very cute pictures.

C: I've got some amazing cute pictures with Gideon.

J: Let's have some onscreen.

C: Now we've undermined this whole thing again.

J: Just to prove that. We've undermined it. I don't know what we were doing with this episode, but what we're saying is BuzzFeed-

C: Get your act together.

J: -is our evil leader and we must all bow down to BuzzFeed.

C: Definitely.

J: Now, though, it's time for another Dear Dodie.

C: (Singing) "Dear Dodie! Dear Dodie-

J: Doing this?

C: -Dear Dodie! Give her your Qs, and she'll A"

Dodie: Ding.

C: There we go.

J: Did not sanction that jingle. We did ab... We, that's the first time we've heard that.

D: You do realize we're going to have to sing this at some point properly now.

J: Yeah.

C: Probably. (Laughs) All right. We answer your questions, that's what we do. That's what Dear Dodie is all about.

J: Mostly Dodie.

C: Yeah. So Autumn says, "Sock sock shoe shoe or sock shoe sock shoe?"

D: OK.

J: Easy for you to say.

D: Sock sock... That's funny. Shoe shoe.

C: So this is do you put your socks on and then your shoes or do you do one sock one shoe-

D: One sock, one shoe.

C: -and then one sock, one shoe?

D: I feel like doing one sock, one shoe would be ridiculous so obviously sock sock shoe shoe.

J: Yeah, that would be crazy. I'd feel really vulnerable if I had one shoe on, and then one completely naked foot.

D: Vulnerable?

J: Yeah. (Charlie laughs) What if you accidentally stand on your own foot? (Dodie laughs)

C: Yeah.

J: You know what I mean?

C: That's a good question.

D: Wow! Yeah.

J: It is a good... Thank you, Charlie. It is a good question.

C: I'm wondering if there are some people who have, like, their sock drawer next to their shoes or something.

J: That was gonna be my second thing. I don't like the idea of shoes in the bedroom.

C: Yeah.

D: What? All my shoes are in my bedroom.

J: Really?

D: Yeah.

J: You don't have a shoes off when you enter the front door policy?

D: No.

J: No!

D: You haven't been round my flat. No, definitely not.

J: I am judging you right now, Dodie.

D: Sorry.

C: Wow.

J: Oh my word.

D: I'm so sorry.

C: I really don't know how equipped you are to give advice any more, this is...

D: Oh no. What am I doing here? I'm so sorry.

J: But you still think shoe... Sorry. Sock sock shoe shoe.

D: Absolutely.

C: Sock sock shoe shoe.

J: What about shoe shoe sock sock? Put your socks on over your shoes?

D: I'm gonna try that.

J: Protect, protect the shoes.

C: That's too far.

D: What about tights? No, I'm kidding.

C: Let's do another one.

J: Yeah.

C: Do you want to read out that one?

D: OK.

J: It's a minefield.

D: Whether or not to use the Oxford comma: red, pink, and blue or red, pink and blue". 

C: It's hard to just say out loud.

J: The Oxford comma.

D: That was really hard, yeah.

C: We'll have subtitles on screen for that one.

D: Red, pink, and... Is that the Oxford comma? I have never used that extra comma.

C: No?

J: You don't use it?

D: No. I'd go red, pink and blue.

J: Yeah.

D: I think that's how I was taught. I don't know.

J: I mean, they do say that that is, that's grammatically correct.

D: Using the comma?

J: Not using the Oxford comma.

D: Oh, OK. I've never heard of this Oxford comma.

J: Oxford comma is grammatically unnecessary according to experts. 'Cause I actually am a fan of the Oxford comma-

D: This is all new to me.

J: -'cause I think it encourages you to hold a little extra pause.

D: Red, pink and blue.

J: I think that it makes sentences read better, but...

D: Red, pink, and blue.

C: I mean, I think it is sometimes necessary, right? With this, like, red, pink and blue, it's not, like, you really think... Like you know it's three colors, you don't, you're not thinking "Red or pink and blue".

J: Mmm.

C: Like you're not thinking that, are you?

D: Oh, I see.

C: But there are definitely occasions where I think it's useful.

D: Red, pink and blue.

J: They say don't do it though. They say don't do an Oxford comma.

C: They say don't do it?

J: Yeah.

C: Well people get annoyed at me. The cover of my book, my new book, Fun Science, coming soon.

D: Ding, ding, ding, ding!

J: Oh, you see that plug people! Oh my God!

C: Someone got annoyed at me that there wasn't an Oxford comma.

J: Oh really?

D: Really?

C: Yeah. But I don't think it needs one.

J: No.

C: I don't think it needs one.

D: Dear Dodie says do whatever you like.

J: Is it just called Fun Science?

C: It's... There's a subtitle to it.

J: Oh, OK.

D: Fun, Science.

(All laugh)

J: Fun comma Science, question mark? Science?

D: Ding!

C: So we're sort of undecided. I think, I think you use it sometimes, that's me.

J: Yeah.

C: Let's have a look at the last one.

J: Good question.

C: Do you want to look at that?

J: OK. Yeah, sure. I, this is from years of tears. "I always get panic attacks at school. Any way to help stop them?"

C: This is a big one.

D: That is a big one.

C: Yeah.

D: I would say in order to help you, maybe confide in a teacher or, and a friend, and maybe just have a word with your teacher and say, "Hey, I've been dealing with this recently. Is it OK if I, like, put up my hand and am I allowed to go out with my friend?" Or something like that, just to sort of, like, get some space away from the situation and deal with it. In terms of, like, dealing with them and stopping them, definitely see if you can book an appointment with your doctor, confide in your parents. Try meditation, it's very good for calming you down.

J: Really good advice, that.

C: I love a bit of mindfulness.

J: Yeah, really good.

D: Yeah, me too!

C: Yeah.

D: I've been loving meditation.

J: I need to get into it. Brilliant. Thank you, Dodie.

C: That was really good.

J: That was awesome.

D: Thanks! Some proper advice.

C: Cheers for watching. Oh, so squeaky. Thank you very much for watching everyone. Do please subscribe. I hope you enjoyed this week, and stick around for next week where we have many things coming, including a lovely episode with the old Karen Kavett. We do a bit of... The old Karen Kavett!

J: Everyone's either old or little with you, Charlie. (Charlie laughs) Either old Karen or little Karen.

C: Little Karen!

J: For everything, everything you mention. I love it, it's cute. Yeah, we do, we did a bit with Karen Kavett, didn't we.

C: Just do it.

J: We did some craft and it was really fun. Craft using supplies from Starbucks.

C: Subscribe.

J: Twitter Thought of the Day. This is from Laura who says, "How about this for a Twitter Thought: Don't let your achievements define who you are."

C: I dig it.

J: Yeah? Into that?

C: Yeah.

J: Yeah, all right. I'm into that. (Both laugh) Thank you very much, Laura. Have a good weekend and we'll see you next week.

C: Bye-bye.