Dr. Lindsey Doe: This episode is brought to you by Adam&Eve

-- Intro Cut Scene --

In my private practice as a clinical sexologist, I've been working recently with a 12-year-old who has a really high sex drive. His solution was to ask a friend for sex, but that's not legal, so we put the focus on masturbation: how it can be amazing.

I asked him to come up with five ways he could masturbate, and he had one: "with my hand, in bed." I taught him about condoms and lube and standing and kneeling, and then between sessions, got really curious myself and looked online. 

What I found were really cheap and simple ways to make your own toy vagina or anus or mouth - also known as: pocket pussies; FiFis; male masturbators; strokers, and artificial vaginas.

Method 1: The Towel

What you'll need: 

a towel - preferably one just pulled out of the dryer,
1 glove,
something similar to your penis that can be a placeholder,
2 elastic bands, and
lube

Lie the glove and penis-like object down at one end of the towel so it's off the edge about one inch. Then roll everything up, and hold it in place with an elastic band here, at the end, where the glove fingertips are. Make this part tight if you can.

On the other end, carefully remove the penis-like object and stretch the end of the glove over the end of the towel. Hold all this in place with a second elastic band (this time loosely.) There should be a sensation of muscles tightening around your penis, but not so tight nothing can go in.

Add some lube, and then play with it. One way is to move it along your erection with your hands. Another is to position it between the couch cushions and masturbate hands-free. 

Method 2: Sponges

What you'll need:

a cup or bottle with the top cut off,
2-3 sponges, 
a glove,
2 elastic bands, and
lube

I suggest getting the sponges wet with hot water so they'll be warm when everything's in place.

Set the glove between them and then put an elastic band around all of it - toward one end. Then, slide the sandwich into the container that will hold it in place. Stretch the open end of the glove onto the container, then use a second elastic band to stop it from coming off. Finally, add lube and play. You've probably noticed after these two examples, that any combination of a rubbery lining surrounded by something soft and cylindrical can be a DIY sex toy.


Method 3: Toilet paper


Remove the cardboard, threat a glove or condom through the center and stretch the end of the glove over the end of the toilet paper. Finally, add lube and play.


Method 4: Bubble Wrap

Bubble wrap a towel tube or sponges, put them in a cup, or stuff in a sock, add lube.



Method 5: Floral Beads

Floral beads, which I got a the dollar store. I just keep them in a container like this, empty a few out so there's room for your penis, put a glove over the top, and hold it in place with a hair tie. Then turn the glove inside-out into the beads, and add lube.


Method 6: Food

You can create a similar effect with a cup of jello, mac and cheese, cottage cheese, peeled grapes, black beans and so on. Just make sure the glove is fastened tightly to the container or you will have a mess.


Method 7: Food - Part 2

A banana peel, squash, grapefruit, cantaloupe, and an apple turnover in a Ziploc bag will all work as FiFis too. Tell us in the comments what your favorites are.


Method 8: Stuffed Animal

This one actually doesn't require much creativity. Lots of people with penises stumble upon it when one of their stuffies gets a hole in it. I have two recommendations. One is to cut a few seams in an unloved stuffed animal. Put a condom on your penis, put your penis in the stuffed animal and masturbate. Another option that doesn't involve cutting it open is to hog-tie all of its limbs with the same elastic band, and then masturbate this direction between the legs.

Method 9: Glove

Just a glove, turned into this. It'll probably need to be latex because there's a lot of stretching involved. Start by tying the pinky and thumb into knots. then turn the glove inside out so there are only three fingers hanging down. Next, blow it up, and invert the middle finger all the way through the open-wrist end of the glove. Then you're going to gather all of this with the middle finger and tie it in a knot. the other two fingers just hanging out. Cut off the tip of one of them and blow it up.

This video suggests disassembling a pen and using the cylinder part as a way to direct air. Once the glove is good and plump, stretch the two fingers around the bulge without losing air, and tie them into each other, so they create a butt a vagina, or an anus. A little water-based or silicone lube to coat the entrance and inside lightly, and you have a great toy.

I love all these methods. They're pretty easy to make, inexpensive, and safe. Most of them can be heated up to give you a warm-body feel, and it's really simple to modify them for your own preferences. I have to say though, if you can afford it, get one like this that's made by a pro. 

My favorite is The Fleshlight, available at adamandeve.com. It's like Elon Musk invented a stroker. Most of them have hard black containers that disguise them as flashlights. I like this one because you can see the textures. The inside is molded with a material called Superskin that feels (*giggles*) yeah! Easy to warm up, easy to clean. Easy to hold with your hand, or in a couch cushion, or in a shower mount. Stay Curious!

Please make sure to use the promo code: DOE when you get condoms and toys and lube at adamandeve.com. It'll get you 50% off of something in your shopping cart and free shipping if you live in the US.


-- Outtakes--

Cottage cheese, peeled grapes *stumbles over words and starts random vocalizations.*

You're amazing.

it's like an anus that can kiss back.

*smooch*