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Uploaded:2013-03-18
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In which John talks about feeling like it's too late to accomplish your goals. In the first game for the FIFA 13 Swoodilypoopers, the team plays Scunthorpe United.

Name the players in comments! This discussion thread at the forum should also come in handy: http://nerdfighteria.vanillaforums.com/discussion/2308/name-your-fifa-13-swoodilypoopers

Follow us: @SwindonSwoodily
John: Hello and welcome to FIFA 13, and your hometown, Swindon Swoodilypoopers. You see him right there on the far right, Bald John Green, he made the transition. He found his way into a TARDIS-like device, he moved from one world into another, and he is going to help the 2013 Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers achieve their dream of no longer being in League 1, look at the beautiful county ground today! 

Chris Mumple is our referee, this is so incredibly exciting. Alright, there is our captain, his name is Flint, we have a lot of new players, you're going to have to name all of them, I need your help! He has beautiful hair, Flint. I need your help now more than ever, is he, you know, Fred Flintstone? I don't know these thing- these are your decisions, I'm terrible at doing this, umm... but this is our team. We're looking at the now, we have Masenaml-- Masenaml-- Masenamlnumunumlaya, I think we might just call him, um, Bob. P. Masenamela. 

Um, there's a good song, Chelsea has a pretty good song about one of their players, I think his name is Azpilicueta, um, that song goes "We call him Bob" or some- I don't know if they call him that, something like Bob. The song goes "We call him Bob, we call him Bob, he's Azpilicueta, but we call him Bob".

Um, so yeah, you go- everybody needs names! Everybody, except for Bald John Green, Other John Green, and what, who was in this space, time, twisting machine with them, Leroy Williamson?! Yes! Leroy Williamson has been resurrected and he is alive for FIFA 13, also his skills have significantly improved. Um, it's like it's something that's happened to Bald John Green and Other John Green as well, there's something, something happens that made them better, like uh, they're their best possible selves, um, so we'll see how it goes, we're up against Scunthorpe today, I'm pretty bad at FIFA 13. I've played a few games, just to try to get some of the transfers done, but man I do not know what I am doing. Um, so just prepare yourselves for a lot of bad defense.

So here's-- I need a lot from you guys, I need you to name the-the new players of whom there are many, like right now, that's uh Ritchie, M. Ritchie, what's his name? We don't know! We need to find out. 

Um, and then, uh oh, uh oh! Yeah, they're just not good, not good at defense! Fortunately I have that guy, Foderingham, Federingham? Um, he's on the real Swindon Town. I need you to come up with a name for him, other than Wes which is his real name. Um, yeah, so like there's a lot to be done, plus we don't just need names for these people, we need songs! Lots and lots of songs! It's a song heavy thing! And then once we have songs, I need you to record them because we are going to integrate them into the game but someone has to explain to me how to do that, um, how is it that you can, how do you use the user generated or user uploaded chants feature because we can't figure it out, so... FIFA experts, people who get infuriated with me watching me play this game so terribly, tell me how to use that feature because I think it would be hilarious if when Other John Green scores, we actually hear the Other John Green's song.

SPEAKING OF WHICH, OH it's off the post! Oh... that was a beauty! Wouldn't that have been great? The first goal in FIFA 13 from Other John Green, wouldn't that have been special, but instead it's gonna beeeee-- oh! Another good save. That was a nice header though.

Alright, we've got Other John Green on all of the corners because he's excellent. Oh it's Bald John Green but it's nothing. Ohhh-aw. Life is so hard and full of disappointment.

So, I need you to name the players, I need you to collectively come up with songs for the players, and I also need you to maybe even tell me some of the backstories of the players, if you happen to know them. You know, if you have dreams about these guys and you know who they are.

But let me just, I'm just gonna real quick gonna show you - I'm gonna show you the team, so that you know everybody's name.

This is our starting eleven: we've got Foderingham in goal, over there in right back we have N. Thompson, A. McCormack in center back, another center back is Mr. Flint, and then we have Masenamela, and then we have G. Roberts, we have Mr. Coke, Mr. Miller, Mr. Ritchie, John Green and, of course, his husband John Green.

One of our back up center backs is C. Stuff, I mean he names himself. Bostock, McEveley, Leroy Williamson! Inexplicably not playing today, despite being the best player on the team. Uh, that guy, I don't know how to say his name, Bedwell, and then of course, Andy Rooney. I thought - did he die?

[to Meredith] Do you not know who Andy Rooney is?

Meredith doesn't know who Andy Rooney is. So maybe we need to come up with a different name for him. "Did he date Taylor Swift," she asks. Did he? Of course he did!

Alright, here we go. I'm bringing in Leroy Williamson. Nothing like a first half substitution to cement the reputation of the FIFA 13 Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers as a well-managed club. Plus I just dribbled the ball out of bounds. It's like we're watching me in FIFA 11 again! Come on, Leroy Williamson, show 'em what you got.

Alright, so that's the update on that front. We need names, we need songs, we need a club that we can love again. I mean, I'm just getting to know these guys. You know, in many cases, I don't really know much about them at all. - That was very strange, the way they made that decision, oh Scunthorpe. - You know, I don't know who I like, what their interests are, I've just arrived at the club and of course it's a little strange: you come to a club, they've had Paolo Di Canio as their manager who's literally a fascist, and now suddenly, their starting forwards are, you know, two married guys.

But you know, everyone, at least so far, seems to be adjusting well, and our league form has been okay, I think we've drawn one and won one, or something? So yeah, things are going fine, but I need to get to know these guys just like you do.

There is a topic for today's video - oh, OH! That was a foul in the box! That should've been a penalty shot! You know who would've taken it: Leroy Williamson. He does score occasionally. Oh, oh he's free! AGH. GET IN! Agh that would've been a beautiful outside-the-box bicycle kick goal. That would've been the greatest goal in the history of Swindon Town. But instead, no. Instead we are struggling against Scunthorpe, and our defense is not getting back well.

Alright, so the topic of today's video: for the next week or two, we're going to be doing videos that have topics that were given to me by people who donated to the Project for Awesome. So if you donated to the Project for Awesome, one of the perks was that you got to pick the topic of a Swindon Town Swoodilypoopers video, and today's was picked by Andrew - that's right, Meredith, isn't it? - and Andrew Cornelius' video topic was: What do you do if you find yourself in a situation - Is it already half time? It's half time, it's nil-nil. Standard Swoodilypooper nil-nil draw. They thought it would be better in going to FIFA 13, but they were wrong. We did hit the post, but I don't believe that they give you points for that.

Andrew's question is: What do you recommend doing if you find yourself in a situation where, like for instance, if you wanted to study medicine, or have a career in medicine, but you find yourself in a situation where that becomes impossible because of choices you've made in the past. How do you reconcile yourself to those past choices, and how do you build a life that you're proud of and a life that's fulfilling to you, because you belatedly - Look who plays for them! It's D. Prutton! - But you didn't realize what you wanted to do until later in your life, and by then it had become impossible.

The first thing that I would say in response to this, with medicine specifically, is that there are a lot of ways to be involved in medicine that don't involve 11 years of graduate school and then a lengthy residency or whatever. But that also, medicine, even being a physician is a second career for many, many people. Like, I had a friend from - oh no, oh no, Scunthorpe! Agh. Foderingham - Scunthorpe! - Oh, everything's fine. Everything's fine, everything's fine.

Scunthorpe is just a great general exclamation, I think. I don't know what I just did. Panic! There, everything's fine. Scunthorpe! Yeah, I like it, just generally, even when I'm playing other teams, it seems to have a certain ring to it - Go Leroy Williamson, Leroy Williamson you're faster than that, and stronger! I'm disappointed in you. Maybe we aren't doing enough unnecessary slide tackling. Uh oh, uh oh. Oomph. Things are going a little hazy.

So like the first thing - I had a friend in college, Abby, who studied, I think was an English major, and is now a doctor, but you know, didn't become a physician 'til she was in her mid-forties. And it's not an impossible career by any stretch of the imagination.

But with medicine in particular, there are also lots of other ways to be involved in it, including volunteering. Volunteering at a local hospital, or volunteering at a hospice, for instance, which is hugely important work. I think, particularly in places like hospices, there's a lot of reliance upon - OH, that's a foul in the box! Oh, I was offside? Mm. Oh, it's not my fault that - I guess, I don't know, maybe it's technically my fault. They probably know the rules better than I do. We gotta find a goal here.

So, I think one of the good things about the twentieth century to me is that the specificity of what we do with our lives is a little bit less rigid than it used to be. It's possible to have many careers and to have the primary way that you make your money not be 100% of your career, or even, you know, 90% of, or even 50% of your career. You know, it doesn't- the relationship between money and work is a little bit more uncoupled than it used to be. And so I would say that you'd need to find ways to volunteer and you need to find ways to kind of get your foot in the door with whatever it is that you're interested in, because then it becomes possible, you know, I think anyway, to do, you never know what job opportunities will arise out of that- you know, out of those volunteering or you know, whatever it is, and that can be a really good way to find fulfillment.

That said, there are going to be, in any adult life, decisions that you sort of wish you'd made differently, that you can't take back. And to me, the way to deal with that is to understand that if you'd made those decisions, there might have been x, y or z that you wouldn't have liked, and that it's hard to- it's very, very difficult to write an alternate history to one's life. The only day that you have much to do with is the ones that are now or in front of you. And there's a lot- you know, I wish that I'd been a better student, I wish that I'd been more attentive in school all the time, I think that I'd be a better writer today, and just like- Oh gosh. Oh Prutton, thank you. That was good of you. I believe he's a former Swoodilypooper, by the way, from FIFA 11. But like an early, he was an early Swoodilypooper. But I think he just has a little bit of a memory of his loyalty to the club. 

Alright. That's basically what I would say. Don't give up on your dreams just because there's a specific, there may be a specific part of that dream that isn't feasible. That doesn't mean that you can't do interesting stuff or that like what you really loved about medicine or whatever it is is unavailable to you merely because you're not gonna be a physician. I just don't think that's reality.

OH speaking of reality, that really should've been really a goal. But instead it isn't. Oh shmurg, 90th minute, I mean are the Swoodilypoopers seriously going to start off FIFA 13 the way that they did almost all of FIFA 11. It appears so. It appears increasingly likely. Yes. It's guaranteed now. It's a standard Swoodilypooper nil-nil draw.

New names. New FIFA. Same freaking results. Best wishes!