Hank: Good morning, John, I'm at the grocery store right now with Michael Aranda because we are going to be playing some Hunger Games in honor of the release of The Hunger Games. (In Hank's kitchen) Hank: Welcome to the first ever Hank and Michael Hunger Games. There shall be several components to this year's Hunger Games, different games (Michael: I'm slipping.) within games, just go, just go away. Part number one, Michael Aranda and I have not eaten anything and it's like, 4 o'clock in the afternoon, so we are hungry. Second hunger, part of Hunger Games, Hungry, Hungry, Hippos, which is a hunger game. And the third part of the Hunger Games, we are making cookies. But we are making them weird. We are putting a different thing inside of every cookie, and there will be two piles: a good pile and a bad pile. If you lose, you have to eat from the bad pile. In the good pile, we have: Gushers, a banana, a piece of a Twix bar, some York peppermint patties, Peachie-O's, a miniature Oreo, dark chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and John's favorite, a Peep. Yeah, there's like milk chocolate on their butts. I'm sure we're going to have to decapitate them to fit them in the cookie anyway. In the bad pile, we have: beef jerky, cold cuts and barbecue sauce, yellow mustard, Easy Cheese, olives, pickles, tuna, Pringles, a hard-boiled egg, or some potted meat food product. Michael: Yeah, that's the one I'm looking forward to. (Michael's 'Blog Vrothers' plays in the background) Hank: This is our chocolate chip cookie dough. Never eat raw cookie dough. Because it's bad for you. Aah. The way to do it, I think, is to like, take some cookie dough, and then you'll, like, make a bowl, and then you put your thing into the bowl, and then you close the bowl up, it just looks like a cookie, and so you can't tell what's in there, so it'll be a surprise. Michael: Just gonna remove his head. Hank: This is not going to be a calorie-neutral day. Michael: Peep peep peep. Get in there! Hank: People, uh, sometimes are like, 'why don't you like olives, Hank?' and I'm like, 'because they taste like poison!' Keep on licking your fingers before you make more cookies that I'm going to have to eat. (music plays) Hank: We have made cookies! We have the good, no, the bad, and the good. I can tell, 'cause I saw some egg. (music) Hank: Yeah! Michael: Guess I'll just take the one on the top. Hank: I'll take this one! Mm, Twix. Aw, this is good. Michael: I can't tell what this is yet. Hank: (laughs) Michael: Mustard. Hank: (falls to the floor laughing) Michael: This is really bad. My hippo's broke. Hank: Can't wait to see what I get next. Michael: It looks like Pringles. I think it could be. Hank: Mmm Michael: It just tastes kinda salty. Hank: Don't try this at home, because it's stuck to the baking sheet like mad, but chocolate chip and Gushers cookies, A+. (music as hippos gorge themselves on small spherical non-foodstuffs) Michael: Whooo! I don't have to eat a bad one! Hank: I took the one that I'm fairly certain is Easy Cheese. Michael: Not bad! Hank: Yeah, Easy Cheese. Waah! That's a strong flavor. (frantic hippo hitting) Hank: (unintelligible sound) Pickle. Pickle. Michael: What are we doing? Hank: (noises of agony) Every time I open my mouth, I taste it more. (music) Michael: I think this one's beef jerky. Hank: (laughs) Eat them all! Michael: Tuna. Hank: He definitely chose the sponge meat. I can see it leaking out the bottom! Michael: (Pained cry) Hank:(chuckles) Michael: (noises of despair) Hank: Mmmm. I got peppermint patty! Hank: Egg! Egg! The texture more than anything. Hank: Alright. Barbecued turkey cookie. Come to me-Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Nope! Hank: We are no longer hungry. In fact, I am now what you would call the opposite of hungry: instead of wanting to put food in my body, I would like to take it out. Michael: Which end? Hank: Either. Hank: Thank you for watching the first annual Hunger Games. Michael: This is an annual thing? (Hank: At my-(overcome by laughter)) We have to do this again? Hank: We are aware of the metaphorical implications of what we've just done. Hank: John, I'll see you on Tuesday.