Good morning Hank, it's Friday. It's question Friday, the day that I answer real questions from real Nerdfighters. Let's get right to it.

Favorite joke?

Billy was a chemist's son, but Billy is no more. What he thought was H2O Was H2SO4. Hey!

What's your take on the Oxford comma?

Lovely comma-space, unintrusive comma-space, and absolutely necessary.

Can you cart wheel?

*attempts cart wheel*

No.

Who the eff is Hank?

Hank is a city of just over three thousand people in southern South Dakota known for its pheasant season.

Do you fit into those wooden shoes in the background?

Kinda.

Other than heights, what are you afraid of?

Hmmmm... geese, mice, and oblivion.

What did you and Hank fight about when you were kids?

We primarily fought about whether I should be able to rewrite the rules of games we were playing while we were playing them in order to ensure my victory. I felt that this was not only my privilege as an older brother, but also my responsibility, where as Hank was kind of a wuss about it.

John, how are you so cool for a nerd?

I don't agree with your premise, and as evidence for my case, I would like to present you with middle school me.

Thanks for getting me those glasses mom.

How can I find other Nerdfighters at my school?

My recommendation is to acquire or make a DFTBA shirt.

What does DFTBA mean anyway?

It means 'Don't Forget To Be Awesome'.

What would you name your puppy sized elephant?

I would call him Lewis, and we would be the best of friends.

How can I get all these old Nerdfighter jokes if I'm a new Nerdfighter?

If you listen to Hank's music, read my books, watch some old videos, and hang around for a while, you'll get it all eventually.

How do you feel about the Kindle?

I don't really care how people read, I care if they read.

Is your next book really narrated by a girl?

Yes.

Will you ever write another book with David Levithan?

Maybe, but in the mean time you can just read David Levithan's amazing new book that he wrote by himself, The Lover's Dictionary. Link below. (http://dft.ba/-ae4)

Favorite Mountain Goats song?

Raskolnikov felt sick, but he couldn't say why when he saw his face reflected in his victims twinkling eye.

What Mountain Goats album should I start with?

I forgive you for ending your sentence with a preposition and present you with a recommendation in the dooblydoo. (http://dft.ba/-ae3)

Will we ever see the Yeti?

I don't know, let me consult my edition of Yeti Researcher volume 24 number 8. This thing has ads. It has a snowmobile ad. I guess that makes sense. I mean if you're going to be finding the Yeti you might need a snowmobile. Yeah, no, I don't think you're ever going to see the Yeti.

Would you date a girl more intelligent than yourself?

Yes, in fact I married one.

Your headdesk was lame.

That's not a question, but thank you for your constructive criticism. Hold on, I'll try to do better.

Ahhhhhhhh...Headdesk! *Headdesk, followed by sigh and other noises* Ohhh, excessive headdesk.

The rest of today's video will be performed while concussed.

Is the world going to end in 2012?

I excessively headdesked and now I don't remember your question.

What is the purpose of a water tower?

I used to know the answer to that; it involves gravity, but then I excessively headdesked and forgot.

What's your middle name?

I don't know, is today Tuesday? Did I hit my head earlier?

How old are you?

Why am I sitting in front of a video camera?

When will your zombie apocalypse novella be finished?

Hopefully within a week or so, it's terrible and I want to finish it so I can go back to my real book, but I need some zombie killing scenarios. So if you know of any can you please leave them in the dooblydoo? (I meant comments. Sorry. My head hurt.)

Hank there are a bunch of other questions, but I think I actually gave myself a concussion, so I will see you uhh... Man, that, yeah ...Monday, I will see you on Monday.