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John's Moral Journey Through Grand Theft Auto: Episode 9
YouTube: | https://youtube.com/watch?v=yMjWw6elJjk |
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View count: | 37,882 |
Likes: | 716 |
Comments: | 61 |
Duration: | 05:03 |
Uploaded: | 2015-05-01 |
Last sync: | 2024-12-12 11:15 |
In which John finds the SUV, but things don't go as planned.
John: Oh, it's exciting, Meredith. Is that not the SUV that I'm looking for? That... Who's SUV is that? To reach the open window climb onto the car. OK, I'm a good climber.
Jimmy: It's just 'cause you have a massive **, **.
John: What?
Tracey: , you're dead. Dad! He said I had a massive... Jimmy called me a **!
John: Oh. OK. Do you guys leave your windows open by chance? Oh you do. That's good news for me. There was no need to take out the gardener.
Jimmy: He tried to knife attack me!
John: Avoid alerting the residents.
Amanda: Thank you, coach.
John: Uh, let's not go there, there's some, there's some scary white people there. Now where would you say the g... garage in this house is?
Man: You're a real pro Mrs. De Santa, a real pro. You're a great student, now just loosen up those hips.
John: Nope.
Amanda: OK, like this?
Man: Yeah, loosen them up, there you go.
John: Oh. Oh my, OK.
Man: Now follow through.
John: These people are right there.
Amanda: Oh, OK. I think I'm getting it.
John: How do I get...? Oh. This is the only way. You guys are just having a sexy time so I'm just gonna go right over here. Oh Meredith. Ah. Oh, remember when he told me not to screw it up too much? OK. Oh, yeah, 'scuse me, this is a, this is a repossessed car. Oh Meredith, I think...
Franklin: Eh, Simeon, I got the ride, man. I'm coming back.
Simeon: If you actually bring the repossession to me this time, I can have it back out on the street before the day is done.
John: Well you're welcome, Simeon, because I did it. There was a weird yoga instructor and somebody was threatening to knife someone else... Oh no! God! There's a guy in my car! Panic! Panic! Panic!
Michael: Don't look around. You just keep driving where you're going.
Franklin: Hey, come on, man, this was a repo job.
John: It was a repo job! Who are you? Wait. Is that the guy from the beginning, Meredith?
Michael: Unlikely, considering my son just got the car. And looking at the way you're going about this, my guess, you're working a credit fraud.
Franklin: A credit fraud? Be serious, dude, I just work the * repos.
John: Yeah, I am just... Listen, I am in the repo business, I am not in a credit fraud business.
Michael: Yeah, maybe one day we'll have a beer.
John: I am an...
Michael: And I'll explain how the world really works.
John: No, I am an...
Michael: Who gives you the slip?
John: I am an...
Franklin: A car dealer, dog, by the name of Simeon Yetarian.
John: I am an honest person.
Michael: He look legit to you?
Franklin: Look, man, it's just between him and your * son.
Michael: Don't worry. Me and Mr. Yetarian, we'll work this out.
John: Oh Meredith, I feel like I've gotten in the middle of something that's bigger and more complicated than me and that tends to be the beginning of when a mystery novel gets really interesting. Is this, like, a mystery novel? Now I kind of like it more.
Woman: Oh my God. Hello!
John: Yeah, thanks for noticing how cool my yellow car is everybody. I know, I don't honor stop lights, it's just not my scene. I liked how all the lights were red there for a second. OK. I just don't... Dude, can you put down the gun! You're really freaking me out. I've had a bad day today, I killed, like, four different people, I've died, like, fourteen different times. For some reason your son and his girlfriend were having an argument involving stabbing via knife, your wife, I don't like to, I don't like to give you bad news, but your wife is definitely sleeping with her yoga instructor, it's just, it's been a weird day and I am gonna do what you say because I feel like you might have more money than Simeon who only pays me $250 per repo.
Franklin: Hey man, it's just up here.
Michael: OK, stop the car. Pull up.
John: What do you want me to do? You want me to stop the car here? Maybe I should stop the car up there on the yellow dot. OK, I stopped the car. Can I get out? Do you not want me to get out? What do you want me to do here? I, I stopped the car at your insistence. Did I... I went to the yellow dot, Meredith. What else could I do? Didn't he tell me to stop on the yellow dot? This isn't where I work so that's my confusion. Lady... What did I do wrong? I didn't ignore his instructions! I did exactly what he told me to do!
Jimmy: It's just 'cause you have a massive **, **.
John: What?
Tracey: , you're dead. Dad! He said I had a massive... Jimmy called me a **!
John: Oh. OK. Do you guys leave your windows open by chance? Oh you do. That's good news for me. There was no need to take out the gardener.
Jimmy: He tried to knife attack me!
John: Avoid alerting the residents.
Amanda: Thank you, coach.
John: Uh, let's not go there, there's some, there's some scary white people there. Now where would you say the g... garage in this house is?
Man: You're a real pro Mrs. De Santa, a real pro. You're a great student, now just loosen up those hips.
John: Nope.
Amanda: OK, like this?
Man: Yeah, loosen them up, there you go.
John: Oh. Oh my, OK.
Man: Now follow through.
John: These people are right there.
Amanda: Oh, OK. I think I'm getting it.
John: How do I get...? Oh. This is the only way. You guys are just having a sexy time so I'm just gonna go right over here. Oh Meredith. Ah. Oh, remember when he told me not to screw it up too much? OK. Oh, yeah, 'scuse me, this is a, this is a repossessed car. Oh Meredith, I think...
Franklin: Eh, Simeon, I got the ride, man. I'm coming back.
Simeon: If you actually bring the repossession to me this time, I can have it back out on the street before the day is done.
John: Well you're welcome, Simeon, because I did it. There was a weird yoga instructor and somebody was threatening to knife someone else... Oh no! God! There's a guy in my car! Panic! Panic! Panic!
Michael: Don't look around. You just keep driving where you're going.
Franklin: Hey, come on, man, this was a repo job.
John: It was a repo job! Who are you? Wait. Is that the guy from the beginning, Meredith?
Michael: Unlikely, considering my son just got the car. And looking at the way you're going about this, my guess, you're working a credit fraud.
Franklin: A credit fraud? Be serious, dude, I just work the * repos.
John: Yeah, I am just... Listen, I am in the repo business, I am not in a credit fraud business.
Michael: Yeah, maybe one day we'll have a beer.
John: I am an...
Michael: And I'll explain how the world really works.
John: No, I am an...
Michael: Who gives you the slip?
John: I am an...
Franklin: A car dealer, dog, by the name of Simeon Yetarian.
John: I am an honest person.
Michael: He look legit to you?
Franklin: Look, man, it's just between him and your * son.
Michael: Don't worry. Me and Mr. Yetarian, we'll work this out.
John: Oh Meredith, I feel like I've gotten in the middle of something that's bigger and more complicated than me and that tends to be the beginning of when a mystery novel gets really interesting. Is this, like, a mystery novel? Now I kind of like it more.
Woman: Oh my God. Hello!
John: Yeah, thanks for noticing how cool my yellow car is everybody. I know, I don't honor stop lights, it's just not my scene. I liked how all the lights were red there for a second. OK. I just don't... Dude, can you put down the gun! You're really freaking me out. I've had a bad day today, I killed, like, four different people, I've died, like, fourteen different times. For some reason your son and his girlfriend were having an argument involving stabbing via knife, your wife, I don't like to, I don't like to give you bad news, but your wife is definitely sleeping with her yoga instructor, it's just, it's been a weird day and I am gonna do what you say because I feel like you might have more money than Simeon who only pays me $250 per repo.
Franklin: Hey man, it's just up here.
Michael: OK, stop the car. Pull up.
John: What do you want me to do? You want me to stop the car here? Maybe I should stop the car up there on the yellow dot. OK, I stopped the car. Can I get out? Do you not want me to get out? What do you want me to do here? I, I stopped the car at your insistence. Did I... I went to the yellow dot, Meredith. What else could I do? Didn't he tell me to stop on the yellow dot? This isn't where I work so that's my confusion. Lady... What did I do wrong? I didn't ignore his instructions! I did exactly what he told me to do!