John:
Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday. Who drew it? Daddy or Henry? Daddy. It's question Tuesday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters; but first, a story.

So, Hank, almost every morning I wake up with a song in my head. Also, you might remember I once described Tumblr as being comprised of primarily of homoerotic-wholock water colors. Ok, so then my dutch friends Lotte and Lidewij wrote a song about it for me and this morning I woke up and was walking around and I was singing, "Homo-erotic water colors, are just one thing that I love, they do not define me, you should know." And then I looked over in the living room and Henry's baby sitter was there and she was like, "Whaaaat???" But it's true though. Oh by the way, Hank, I just looked down and I was like, "Fried chicken here in the morning? What have I done to deserve this." But it turns out it's play chicken, it's so weird having a toddler.

Right, it's question Tuesday, but I have to go into the office, which means the quality of this video is about toooooo... Improve significantly.

Favorite part of "The Evening of Awesome"?
The part where all of it.

What would you most like to tell Esther about?
I really wish she could've read The Fault In Our Stars, I think all the time whether she would have like it.

Finish this sentence, "It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by..."
Pizza, the answer is always pizza.

Hey, how do I know when someone wants to be 'just friends' or 'more than friends'?
Yeah, you should use your words. But wait, what do you mean, 'just friends' and 'more than friends'? Like, when did we hardwire into our language the idea that the step past friendship is mutual face-licking? Like, the Yeti and me are more than friends. Not primarily because of the face-licking aspect of things, but because there are important things we share responsibility for like a car, a mortgage, and a human child. Like, this is Shannon and we lived together for more than five years in our twenties, and I really take offense at the notion that we're 'just friends' simply because we never made-out. I mean, Shannon and I have been together for the worst and best days of each other's lives. We're not 'just friends', we're not 'just' anything. So yeah, you shouldn't say, "Do you want to be more than friends?" you should say what you mean. You should say, "Do you want to be monogamous face-licking partners?" And yes, I realize not all romantic relationships involve making-out, but you should say what you mean.

Why is your Tumblr called 'fishingboatproceeds'?
Ever since 2007 I've been trying to get fishing boat proceeds, cause then you get to check off a special box on your tax return. But it hasn't happened, so I figured maybe through Tumblr, but not yet.

Are you ever afraid of running out of ideas for books or getting writer's block so crippling that you never write again?
Yes! And thank you for mentioning it.

Wherefore art thou Romeo?
Because, as I explain in a recent episode of Crash Course, if he were named Paris he wouldn't be nearly so hot.

Does Holden Caulfield ever change?
I'm starting to think you're just not subscribed to Crash Course, which you really should be.

TFIOS movie?
I love the script, but I don't think I'm allowed to say anything else. I'm not even sure I'm allowed to say that, so just pretend I didn't say anything.

Do you have any tips for a scared parent to be?
Yeah, so at first everyone feels totally unqualified to be a parent. But then you realize, "All I have to do is trick this baby into thinking I'm qualified to be a parent." This is a baby! In some cases they were literally born yesterday, they're super easy to trick!

Nerdfighters, whether you were at Carnegie Hall or watching 'The Evening of Awesome' at home, thank you so much. It was the highlight of my professional career. Hank! Thanks for making it fun and surprisingly relaxing! You are made of awesome, I will see you on Friday.