Hello and welcome to Hank Games Without Hank.

My name is John Green. I'm the manager of the AFC Wimbledon Wimblely Wamblies in a stunning turn of events.

It's raining in England. Hopefully, this rain falling from the heaven, watering our pitch will teach us how to be a less crappy football team because we just had the biggest loss in the history of the Wimblely Wamblies. 4-nil uh to Porto right here uh at home. It was brutal.

It was painful. Uh bald John Green uh with his soul patch um was struggling. everybody a afterwards just felt like we'd been played off the pitch. And um so we're here in professional skill level.

We're going to see what we can get done. Today I'm going to talk about poets and poetry. Some of my favorite poets, some of my favorite uh lines from poetry.

I guess I don't I'm not a great uh memorizer of poems. Although I love I love reading poetry aloud. As you can see, we're only one point out of first place, but we're also only like three points out of seventh place.

So uh that's where we are right now. Uh we're starting uh girls just want to have funings rude as well as Frampton comes alive as our central backs. Out on the wing we've got the White House.

On the other wing of course Kennedy with his ugly hair. Our midfield is tiny the tiny golden boy and tiny Hell's Pels. Just two uh 5 foot 3-in uh masters of destruction.

And then of course up front we have John Green and John Green, teammates in life and in love uh whose marriage has now extended uh for almost a decade through uh good times and bad um through Swinden Red and Wimbley Blue. Oh. Oh, almost a dream start.

Almost a dream start, but somehow it doesn't go in. That was almost the best play in the history of the Wimbley Womblies. Oh, I'm devastated.

How did that not go in? Oh. Oh, it was beautiful.

It was truly a work of art. Oh man, that was just it was I mean that's exactly that's the kind of thing that I want. That's how that's what poetry is.

You want to know what poetry is? Um, one of my favorite poets is uh Langston Hughes. I probably should have just dribbled there.

Um, I also when I quote poetry, I often get it wrong, so just as a heads up. Um, I I love I love um I love Langston Hughes. I love his like I love his really really short um poems like uh uh "dying is hard and birthing is mean. So get yourself some loving in between." Um but I also love like the big epics like uh a dream deferred. I love that that line um from montage of a dream deferred.

Good morning daddy ain't your heard the boogie woogie rumble of a dream deferred. So good man. That's so good.

Get a tiny tiny little golden boy. Oh, this is frustrating. I make noises when I'm angry.

I really want to win this game. We need to get back. We need to get back.

Oh, it was a beautiful shot. People keep accusing me of having turned up the shot power, but I haven't. Uh, I looked.

My shot power is is the same as my opponent's shot power. So, it's it's fair, right? I don't know if I'm doing it wrong.

Let me know. But I I Everybody has the same shot power. Um Ball John Green was was really nestled up against his opponent there.

Um so yeah, I'm a big Langston Hughes fan. Not just the um what is somebody hurt? Are you hurt?

Are you feeling okay? Girls just want to have funings. Rude.

I'm concerned about you. You're a young man. You're important to our future.

I want you to be happy and uh yeah, have a good have a good life. Speaking of a good life, it's Y Bomba. Y Bomba on the ball.

Pass. Great pass. Oh, great idea.

What a pass. No, to your husband. Clearly, I wanted you to pass it to your husband.

Not Oh, how are we losing? I mean, this is I mean, how are we not winning? This is ridiculous.

We had a a stone cold breakaway just there and couldn't couldn't convert. This has been very frustrating. There's no other way to say it.

Um, we we'll get it back. Don't worry, guys. It's all going to work out fine.

We got Hell's Pels on the ball. Little Hell's Pels. Um, what were you doing there, Ball John Green?

What was the big idea? Um, also like uh um also of course love the poetry of Emily Dickinson, as anyone who's read any of my books would know. Oh.

Oh, do the robot, John Green. Oh, and then you get hugged by your husband. Look at those two men who love each other just dancing around kind of doing some fake punching stuff.

That was beautiful. That is that's poetry in motion right there. John Green.

He's big. He's tough. He has a ginger puff.

Other John Green. Other John Green. Beautiful goal.

And finally we've opened the scoring against Barnsley after three really, really good opportunities. I think honestly better opportunities than that one. But it just goes to show that in football sometimes beauty wins and sometimes it doesn't.

Speaking of uh beauty being truth and truth beauty uh being all you know and all you need to know. I also like John Keats a lot. Um and then um anytime I talk about John Keats, I got to talk about uh the poem that Salinger uh attributed to uh one of the glasses.

Um I think in Seymour introduction uh John Keats. John Keats put your coat on. Um John Keats's last will and testament one perfect line of amic pentameter.

My chest of books divide among my friends. For those of you who don't know what amic pf pentameter is, by the way, I can teach you really quickly. So then you will have actually learned something from the wimblelywamblies.

In addition to how to school your opponents, look at Frankenstein. Oh, then he lost the ball. Oh, but then he won it back.

Then he then he lost it again. That's sort of typical that that that um ah oh, there's a frog in my throat. Got a little Alice Cooper voice going on there.

Um that uh that is indicative of Franken Frankenstein's entire career. That that like 3 second period where Oh god. Oh my god.

I have nothing else to say. It's ridiculous and embarrassing. And oh, Grady just uh got his head impaled by the corner flag and I'm horrified and upset.

Hello Sarah. The Wimblelyws are playing. It's one.

It's It's a one- win draw. It's raining in England in a stunning turn of events. Um I'm talking about some of my favorite poets.

Do you have any of my f Who do you think are my favorite poets? I I was just talking about Keats as it happens. I'm also a big Walt Whitman fan.

He's Keats died when he was 27. Oh, do do you want me to tell that story? Yeah.

So, um my the first one of the very first times I I met Sarah or you know in our adulthood, we went to high school together. We didn't know each other in high school. One of the very first times that we met, um, she came to my apartment for my birthday party.

It was my 27th birthday party and it was, uh, it had a Keats theme because of course Keats, what the f Oh, now I'm angry. Keats died when he was uh, what's the point? It was the I'd lived a year long.

I'd lived longer than Keats and I still hadn't accomplished anything in my life. My first book wasn't out yet and it was a party about how, you know, look at what Keat's accomplished in his life and I've done nothing. Sorry.

It wasn't that dark in real life, but now I'm in a dark, dark place because we're down 2-1 despite being, it must be said, the far better side. It's no justice in football, ladies and gentlemen. Turn.

Oh, you got to get that on goal. Oh, what? Oh, this is just Okay, we got to we got to focus in the second half.

Um, I love I love Walt Whitman's uh Leaves of Grass. Um, I love Shakespeare, of course. Um, although I make fun of him a lot in the fault in our stars.

Um, I love uh I love I love the sonnetss. Uh, I love his I I mean, I love I love the amic pentameter in his plays. Oh, right.

I was going to teach you what I amic pentameter is really quickly in case you don't know. It's um it's got it's 10 syllables, one line, 10 syllables. Da d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d d that's how it sounds you can if you can say it du dut dut dut du it's pentameter um so you emphasize the second syllable of each uh what's called foot each leg two oh get there John Green gosh darn it I'm kind of getting angry why are you doing why why am I am I aiming in the wrong direction I have the wrong controller we going to seriously know Seb Brown's got Um yeah, so my chest of books divide among my friends.

Um for some reason I can't think of a single other line of pentameter in the in the whole of the literature. But anyway, most most well lots of English poetry is a pentameter because it sounds so good. In fact, there's a line from the uh there's a line from the translation of the Bible.

I have to I'm giving a sermon. I don't know how I got talked into this at my church on Sunday. And uh it's the Samaritan woman at the well uh bit.

And there's a great line of amic pentameter in this particular English translation. Um, uh, you have no bucket. You have no bucket and the well is deep.

You have no bucket and the well is deep. All right, maybe I should stop talking about poetry and start talking about football because we are stinking it up and hurting the feelings of our supporters who have been with us through thick and thin who who are literally the club is literally made out of. I mean, we are a club formed by, funded by our supporters, and we have done nothing but disappoint them today, and I'd like to personally apologize.

I'm horrified by the way that we're playing. Truly, admittedly, we're tired from our European vacation, but this is reprehensible. I don't even know what to say.

I'm in a bad place right now emotionally. taking off your Bomba and putting in chess uh C Arthur and then at some point I mean I might Do you think it makes sense to bring on Green Eggs and Sharingham? I mean I guess so. He's in the red.

We'll we'll just see what Green Eggs and Sharingham can do. But this is it's been it's difficult. There's no two ways about it, ladies and gentlemen.

Oh, 2-1 down. And I mean we just we should have been 4-0 up in the first half. This is just Anyway, this is what the pros do, Meredith.

You make all three substitutions at once. That's It's just it's it's tactical football. It's complicated.

It may elude, you know, some of my uh some of my less sophisticated viewers, some of the supporters of the club who maybe don't know as much about football, don't understand why you make three substitutions at once, but just trust me. It's it's what it's what all the real guys do. All right, let's get let's get this ball.

That was better. I liked I at least liked the passion a little bit, but um frankly, at this point, I'm not even I I mean, I guess we have to get the draw. We've got to find a way to get at least one point out of this.

But one point isn't enough. We should be getting three points at home against Barnesley. There's no question about it.

Oh, he's offside for the love of God. Just barely. But he is offside.

And then he couldn't. He was trying to like I think he was trying to back heel it into the goal or something. It's just we just It's like we're a different club than we were the first few days of the uh of the season.

Um it's like we've lost our mojo. We do tend to have these slumps at some point where uh we didn't have it in League Two, of course, because we were, you know, we were in League 2. It was a relatively easy thing to move forward because we weren't playing the best opposition.

Now we're in League One. You know, I mean, look, it's not like we're not playing Barcelona or anything, but you know, these are good. These are good football teams.

Oh man, that's just wide open space at the back. Fortunately, it goes out for a Seb Brown goal kick, but he's too cranky to put his hands on his hips. I don't blame him.

I'm mad as well. 75th minute, we're still losing. Unbelievable. Um I don't know who what what kind of poetry should I quote.

I don't I'm not feeling poet poetic right now. I'm feeling sad. Oh, John Green just trying to get the ball on his right on his right foot to take a shot and it doesn't happen.

Doesn't happen for him. It's difficult difficult day for the Wimblely Wamblies and and and and coming off of a difficult day against Porto. We don't have the strength of we don't have the depth of squad really to be in Europe right now.

Um so I think that's part of the problem. I think we're just going to get our butts kicked on the rest of our European vacation. And then but then you come back and two days later you play a game.

It's hard. It's physically challenging. Um well at least at least you learned what I am pentameter was in this video.

Unless you already knew it, in which case I've really Oh, what an awful haircut. Wait, they have a Kennedy with a terrible haircut. We have a Kennedy with a terrible haircut.

That's fantastic. Well, they should be friends. Anyway, he's coming off.

You don't get to play anymore, Kennedy. Um, all right. Come on.

Let's find a way to get at least a point out of this. Seb Brown. Oh, man.

He had to make a desperate, desperate, desperate, desperate save there. Okay. Oh, and then I can't get the ball. 85th minute.

This is just It's bleak. It's bleak, friends. There's no other word for it.

We're up. We're playing Barnsley. Oh no.

Oh, we don't just lose. We lose by two. Oh.

Oh. This is when I turn to poetry for comfort. I have taken the plums that were in the ice box in which you were probably saving for breakfast.

Forgive me. They were delicious, so sweet, and so cold. This is when you need William Carlos Williams in your life.

This is when you need When. Oh, I was offside. Of course, God forbid I score a goal.

It was nice looking goal, though. But doesn't matter. It's all for nothing.

Oh, so much depends on a red wheelbarrow glazed in rainwater beside the White Chickens. And indeed, so much depends on the AFC Wimbledon Wimblely Wamblies coming out to play and to win every time they have the opportunity to do so. Uh it is an honor and a privilege to play in front of these supporters uh to play for you uh indirectly to play for the real AFC Wimbledon uh whom we support through our sponsorship.

And this is not what anyone this is not an acceptable result. And I just want to let you know that when we get to the locker room, the boys are going to know that this is not an acceptable result. You will not see a performance like this from the AFC Wimbledon Wimblely Wamblies again this season.

I guarantee you. We will remember these two games against Porto and Barnsley. This cannot keep happening.

Oh, that's an awful handshake. FIFA, you have to do a better job with that. EA Sports, thanks for watching.

Best wishes.