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View count:29,738
Likes:836
Dislikes:6
Comments:74
Duration:04:45
Uploaded:2014-11-18
Last sync:2018-11-12 12:50
In which we discuss how to be more confident, overcome homesickness, make friends, and Sherlock your very own brain!

Support How to Adult on Patreon at http://www.patreon.com/howtoadult

HOW TO ADULT Posters Now Available from DFTBA Records!
http://store.dftba.com/collections/how-to-adult

LINKS WE MENTIONED....
SELF-CONFIDENCE: http://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/13-easy-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html
INEXPENSIVE FUN: http://www.thesimpledollar.com/fifteen-ideas-for-a-deeply-fulfilling-money-free-weekend/
TED TALK ON SELF-CONFIDENCE AND BODY LANGUAGE: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ks-_Mh1QhMc
GREAT ARTICLE ON HOMESICKNESS: http://www.gritandglamour.com/archive/expat-stuff/getting-over-homesickness/

Merchandise from Mike (including posters about books and "Everything Not Saved Will Be Lost"):
http://store.dftba.com/collections/t-michael-martin

"How to Adult" is a "life skills" edutainment channel brought to you by Executive Producers Hank Green and John Green. Subscribe for new videos every week!

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Created, Written, and Hosted by:
Emma Mills & Mike Martin
http://www.youtube.com/elmify
http://www.youtube.com/tmikemartin
Mike is also a Young Adult novelist. His book, THE END GAMES, is available at all online booksellers, including
Indiebound (http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780062201812?aff=tmichaelmartin ) and Amazon: (Mike is also a Young Adult novelist. His book, THE END GAMES, is available at all online booksellers, including
Indiebound (http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780062201812?aff=tmichaelmartin ) and Amazon: (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0062201816/ref=as_li_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0062201816&linkCode=as2&tag=tmicmar-20&linkId=CF4ULRBEW6LATV3C)

Directed and Edited by:
T. Michael (Mike) Martin


Executive Producers:
Hank & John Green
http://www.youtube.com/vlogbrothers

[ Introduction music for How to Adult]
(0:13)
Both: Hey! Let's A those Q's!

Mike: GeekSquadR4A asks, " How do you deal with rejection and/or anxiety?"  This is something that we would like to make a full video about but in the mean time, here are a few tips. Firstly let's quote one of the great philosophers of our time.

Emma: Everyone gets rejected. And it's not because you're not the bomb-diggity because you are. You are the bomb-diggity!
And that's truth, everyone in their life at some point will be rejected. It may sound like it's a negative thing but it's actually a positive thing. If you stop expecting to win every time, usually losing isn't quite as painful or frighting.

Mike: If you do get rejected, it's OK to wallow a bit. Maybe you've got a support group, lean on them and try to keep busy so you can avoid too much mental rumination.

Emma: And once you're feeling ready you can think about the rejection more but try not to be angry or depressed. Try to become interested, or the things you can do differently next time.

Mike: Most of all, if you find yourself turning to the thought, " I'll always be rejected," remember this adulthood secret. If a sentence has always or never in it, that sentence is probably not true.

Emma: Similarity, esquiggle asks "How do I go about becoming more confident?" We plan to cover this more extensively in a future video as well, but in the meantime, here are a few quick tips.

Mike: Sherlock your brain, a lot of us have recurring thoughts that can sap our confidence but the act of just taking them out of your head and putting them on a piece of paper and logically refuting their charges has been shown to be a big help.

Emma: Take a small step every day out of your comfort zone. Maybe try shooting a smile at the cute guy on the bus. Or... striking up a conversation with your local barista as you are getting your pumpkin spiced latte on. The point is to show yourself that you are capable of change and that your actions can have positive results.

Mike: As Inc. Magazine put it, "Remember that dogs don't chase parked cars". If you're running into opposition, questions, and doubts, there's probably a good reason for that. You're going somewhere. That doesn't mean you should ignore warning signs, but it does mean you should keep those negatives in perspective.

Emma: Rest, breathe, and stand up straight, and be willing to fake it for a little while. There was a great TED talk about certain body language and the act of mimicking confidence can actually, over time, create confidence. Link in the dooblydoo.

Mike: Jennydeane asked "Who is your OTP?" Me and my wife.

Mike and Emma: Awwwww.

Emma: I'm going to say something I saw on tumblr. I ship myself with academic success and contentment. That is my OTP right now.

Emma: Tamera Janneff asked "I'm moving to university soon halfway across the continent from my parents and I'm sort of freaked out. How do I deal with being so far from my family?"

Mike: Well, as someone who has lived in three states in the last two years, I can tell you that moving can be tough. But to quote gritandglamour.com, "Half of the homesickness battle is education and distraction. The other half is time, plain and simple."

Emma: It's great to keep in touch with family; maybe you can set up a regular call time each week, but it's also very important to keep busy. You find yourself feeling like you've left the perfect place, maybe try keeping a list of things you can do in your new environment that you couldn't do back home.

Mike: It will take some time, maybe months, but eventually you will feel better. I promise.

Mike: Clumpyllamacorn asks "In your video on how to make friends, you mention inviting the person to a post-activity, but what are some good examples? My go-to activity has been (window) shopping or going to the movies, but my budget doesn't allow that anymore.

Emma: We'd love to hear from you guys in the comments, actually, but here are our thoughts.

Mike: Community stuff. Check your local community calendar. A lot of times zoos or museums will have free admission, always or occasionally. Also, check to see if there are, like, community sports, for instance: dodgeball.

Emma: Dollar movie theaters can be great. The movies there might be a couple months old, but it's still a lot of fun and it's definitely easier on your wallet.

Mike: Play some board games.
Emma: What's your favorite board game?
Mike: Probably Risk. It takes forever and eventually you might want to flip it over and be like "You win, Grandma!" but, uh, but, um, it's really fun.

Emma: Head to a local park. Maybe take a walk, throw a Frisbee around.

Mike: Watch some bad movies on Netflix.
Emma: Recommendations?
Mike: Leprechaun. Leprechaun.
Emma: (Laughs) Leprechaun.

Emma: And that's all we've got for you today; if you have any more Q's, please leave them for us in the comments section below; in the meantime, Mike, I got a Q for you: What should our catchphrase be today?
Mike: I think the camera's dying.
Emma: Nooooo! Wait, is that an evasion tactic so that you won't have to answer?
Mike: Yes, it is!
Emma: (Laughs) Not fair!

(How to Adult music plays)