I know you regifted that figurine your grandma gave you last Christmas.

But she doesn’t know. And if she doesn’t watch this video, she’ll probably keep giving you gifts  that don’t really fit into your life.

C’mon Grammas! All we really want is your love. Although cash is nice, too.

And we wouldn’t mind that blender we asked for. See, scientists have spent years studying what kinds of gifts are most appreciated. You and your grandma don’t need to go on giving stuff that nobody wants.

And while there are some nuances  to giving money and presents, the research says there’s  a third thing you can give someone that may be even more appreciated. So here they are: The best  gifts, according to science. [♪INTRO] Before we begin, I should mention  that all of this is context dependent. The studies we refer to in this video represent a mixture of cultural contexts, but they’re not representative of every person  in every part of the world.

So not everybody will think or  respond the way the participants in these studies did. But they can give  us a good idea of how your loved one might respond to whatever  you’re planning to give them. Let’s start with what you probably came here for: guidance on giving a physical gift.

I’m sure your grandma gave you  that figurine because she really thought it was special and you’d like it. She probably even spent a little  extra dough to get the one holding a harp because that’s way better than  the one that’s just standing there. But you wouldn’t have guessed that a harp added another $15 onto that gift.

And, considering that either way it’s  just a figurine that you can’t really do anything with, you wouldn’t  say it’s worth much money anyway. This is what the experts call “deadweight loss.” It’s what happens when the person  giving the gift buys it for a certain price and the person receiving the  gift values it at a lower price. On average, you’ll guess that your gift is worth about 15% less than what your  grandma actually paid for it.

And that’s been seen time and again in studies across ages, genders, cultures, and holidays. For example, it has been investigated at Christmas time in Western cultures  and in India during Diwali. So, again, several lived  experiences have been sampled, but not all.

And there will be  variation depending on a few factors. Like, the Diwali study found that  a smaller generational gap between the gift giver and receiver tends  to lead to less deadweight loss. So you’re more likely to understand  the true value of a gift your siblings give you compared to  what your parents might wrap up, which is probably still better than  what your grandparents purchased.

That’s why I’ve been picking on your grandma, who I’m sure is lovely and gives  gifts with all of her heart. Of course, these are trends, and  the way that you respond to a gift depends on your relationship  with these people in your life. Another factor that makes a difference in deadweight loss is the gift itself.

More expensive gifts are generally  less affected by deadweight loss. I mean, if your grandma gives you a car, you know she spent a lot of money on that. And you better write her a thank you card!

And drive her to her hair appointments. For your convenience, the researchers who conducted the Diwali gifting study arranged different gifts in order from  greatest to least deadweight loss. Clothes have the greatest  deadweight loss, followed by food, electronics, accessories, and  finally cash, which had absolutely no deadweight loss because you  know exactly how much money someone spent on your gift  when the gift is actual money.

But that doesn’t say anything about how much you emotionally value a gift. And if you want to get a  gift that you really value, you might just have to ask for it. Another study out of the US concluded that people are more appreciative of the  gifts they explicitly asked for.

Those researchers surveyed people  across the country specifically about their wedding gifts. And they  found that you’re more likely to appreciate a gift from your registry  than one that you hadn’t asked for. Now, as a gift giver, you might think  that buying a gift off the registry is impersonal and indicates that  you don’t know the happy couple well enough to come up with  the perfect gift on your own.

You might think that these people  will like the gift just as much even if it’s not on the registry  because you put serious thought into what makes the most sense for  these people you know so well. But that’s not what the research says. In fact, odds are you’re a bad gift  giver.

I know that’s hard to hear. But about half of Americans  return gifts every year. So just give the gift that they asked for.

And if you’re putting together a  list of suggestions, you’re more likely to get what you want if  you narrow it down to one thing. And if you’re having trouble even  narrowing it down to one thing, you could just ask for some cold hard cash. Thanks to Brilliant for  supporting this SciShow video!

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You can go from beginner to expert level, starting with general math sequences  and building up to vectors, algebra, geometry, and reaching  the precipice of calculus. Find it all at Brilliant.org/SciShow, the QR code, or the link in the description. That link gives you 20% off an annual  premium Brilliant subscription.

And go ahead and take the first 30 days for free. That US-based survey found  that most people end up happier with money than the gift they  had explicitly asked for anyway! And this is another case of  gift givers and recipients getting their wires crossed,  because givers tend to think that money is less appreciated than a gift.

But if you’re on the receiving end,  you’ll probably think the opposite. Now, even the researchers  acknowledge that for some people, money could be seen as an impersonal gift. And that would leave you having the opposite effect from what you intended.

After all, I’m sure you’re not giving someone money thinking “They’re gonna hate this!” But the good news is these participants overwhelmingly didn’t feel that way. They were appreciative of the gift, even when it came in the form of money. So by giving your loved one some coin, you’re avoiding deadweight  loss and you’ll probably make them happier than if you  gave them a physical gift anyway.

But if you just don’t have the money to give, there is a third option, and it’s free, so you can give as many as  you want whenever you want. An experiment conducted in the US concluded that people really appreciate compliments. Yeah, as cheesy as it sounds, a  good compliment can go a long way.

And this study found that  even a pretty lame compliment, like hearing from a stranger  that they like your shirt even if there’s nothing special about  your shirt, still does the job. Random people on the street  were complimented by study participants and then asked  to complete a quick survey. The survey asked the receivers  to rate how they felt after the compliment on a scale from  1, not good, to 7, very good.

And they averaged a 5, So that’s awesome, which is pretty great because as  we said, compliments are free! You can give as many of them as you want! But they’re even cooler because they don’t just make the recipient feel good.

They also make the compliment giver feel better. They’re the ultimate win-win! Compliment givers rated themselves at a 4.13 before they complimented someone and ended up boosting it to a 5.26 afterward.

And I know what you’re thinking if you’re anything like the participants in this study. Giving someone a compliment comes with anxiety. What if you say the wrong thing  or it doesn’t come out right?

There’s a general feeling that you have to give a compliment well or else people will judge you. And that keeps a lot of people  from giving the simplest gift. But despite the anxiety that can come with giving a compliment, people generally  feel better afterward.

To the point that participants in  this experiment said they’d be more likely to give compliments after  the study than they had been before. So as long as you’re not, like, catcalling or being sarcastic or something, you can give the gift of a compliment freely and frequently knowing that the science points to a positive experience for everyone involved. According to our best evidence,  it is the thought that counts.

Let us know in the comments if your  grandchild sent you this video. Now that I think about it, a SciShow video is a pretty great thing to give someone you love. If you’re a grandmother watching  this video, maybe just send your grandchild a nice complimentary  card with a little bit of cash. [♪OUTRO]