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In which John auditions to join his brother Hank's band. The toys I use in this video are called sing-a-ma-jigs; kids REALLY LOVE THEM and I have to confess that this adult kind of does, too.

(And no, singamajigs did not pay me to make this video. We don't accept paid product placement precisely so you don't have to ask yourself that question.)


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A Bunny
( - -)
((') (')
Good Morning Hank it's Friday. Hank your song on Wednesday was brilliant - the best song ever written about particle physics. Frankly, Hank it was almost intimidatingly good, like it made me sad I'm not more talented. I mean I realize I write books and to some people that qualifies as a talent, but let me remind you Hank: Lauren Conrad writes books.

But anyway Hank, there's something I've been wanting to ask you. I've always had this dream that, just like we have this collaborative video channel, someday- y'know, this is awkward- but maybe someday we could be on stage playing music together? And I know that I can't sing, and that you play the guitar, and I don't have any rhythm so I couldn't do bass or drums - but Hank, for the last several months I have been learning a musical instrument in the hopes that, y'know like maybe I could be in your band.

Come on, Green! You can do it.

(Sing-a-ma-jig plays)

That's right, Hank. I wanna be your Sing-a-ma-jig player. I mean I've been thinking about it Hank - what is keeping you from becoming the next Justin Bieber? You've got the lyrics, you can play the guitar, you've got a great look, it's a little nerdy but it works, and your quark song on Wednesday was a great example of how you always write about subjects that matter. Or at least, the subject of matter. Hank, what's standing between you and the next level in your career: to paraphrase the great Christopher Walken, "You need more Sing-a-ma-jig."

Hank I know what you're wondering, why should you hire me to be your Sing-a-ma-jig player, I mean anyone with two hands can make Sing-a-ma-jigs harmonize. And that's true Hank, anyone with two hands can make Sing-a-ma-jigs harmonize. But can they make four Sing-a-ma-jigs harmonize? No they can't, because they have not been practicing the instrument of the Sing-a-ma-jig nonstop for months like I have! And it's not just harmony Hank, I can make melodies. Hmmmm?

By the way Hank, I don't know if you knew about these things before today because you don't have a child, but our friend Marina bought them for Henry, and after about 45 seconds of playing with one he looked up at me. And his eyes said: "Hey, Dad, quick favor. I'm gonna need you to go to the store and buy me 500,000 Sing-a-ma-jigs." And Henry just woke up from his nap so I have to go but that's all I wanted to say, I just wanted to throw my hat into the ring as a potential Sing-a-ma-jig player, if, y'know, you ever find yourself in need of one. Nerdfighters, there's only one week left to pre-order Hank's T-shirt-tastic ode to giraffes who love giraffes, link in the dooblydoo. And Hank, I'll see you on Monday.