Good morning, Hank, it’s Friday, October 10th, and I’m coming to you today from a hotel room with two bathrooms. No joke, here’s bathroom one and here’s bathroom two with its bathtub the size of a swimming pool. I mean, seriously, Hank, I can hide inside of it [gets out of bathtub and hits leg] Oh, ow, ugh god the injuries I incur from vlogging. [Intro].

So, Hank, I am coming to you today from the iSight camera because I left my camera charger at home. Hank, just because I’m on the iSight camera does not mean that it is not Question Friday, the day that I answer real questions from real nerdfighters. Okay, Hank, let's get to it.

Question one, “How long can you go without mentioning your new book, Paper Towns, which comes out in six days and makes a great present for the holidays?” I don’t know, let's time me and we’ll find out.

“Will Paper Towns be out in Canada at the same time as it will be in the United States?” That doesn’t count, I didn’t bring it up, I just repeated a nerdfighter's question. And yes.

“Do you think deconstructionism as a part of literary criticism takes something away from the author?” Maybe, but authors don’t own books, readers do.

“Do you play any musical instruments?” Sometimes I play a little upside-down hotel trashcan. [Plays trashcan]. Ha, I don’t have a lot of aptitude for the upside-down hotel trashcan, but I do love to play.

“Is Bubbles the Nerdfighting Puppy neutered?” Yes, for the first several months of his life, every time he peed inside, I was like, Willy, if you do that one more time, I am going to chop your balls off, and then I did it.

“If some blibs are blobs and some blobs are bleebs, then are some blibs definitely bleebs?” Okay let me rephrase your question, if some nerdfighters make riddles and if some riddle makers are Minotaur's, then are some nerdfighters definitely Minotaur's? Hmm, yes, I guess so.

“Are you an octopus?” Hmm, [Counts limbs] one, two, three four, no. Wait, wait, wait, I could be an octopus who had had four legs chopped off. If I were an octopus with four legs chopped off, how would we be able to tell? If I jumped against the wall, I would stick. [Jumps against wall and falls] I am not an octopus.

“We know that 'Joe Biden' anagrams to 'I need job' but does 'Sarah Palin' anagram to anything interesting?” No joke, 'Sarah Palin' anagrams to 'Las Piranha'.

“How did you get your to be so incredibly awesome?” Is not a question I received very often in middle school.

“What’s gonna happen at these nerdfighter gatherings?” Songs will be sung, Paper Towns will be read. Okay, that’s it, that’s as long as I can go without mentioning Paper Towns. I mean, my God, it comes out in six days, it’s the culmination of two and a half years of my life. [out of breath] huh huh, Paper Towns, Paper Towns, Paper Towns, Paper Towns, Paper Towns, Six days, six days, six days, Paper Towns, next Thursday, Paper Towns. But anyway, yes, songs will be sung, Paper Towns will be read, book will be discussed, questions will be answered, stuff will be signed, happy dances will be happily danced.

“How do you feel about Paper Towns being sold early in some places?” I mean, I’m not thrilled about it, but there’s also nothing I can do about it. It’s like this spot on my shirt.

“How come you never answer my questions?” Actually, by virtue of answering your question I have rendered your question unanswerable.

“Why is Y only sometimes a vowel?” Because if it were always a vowel, there would be no Yeti and I would be alone in the world. Oh my God, thank you, thank you, consonant Y.

“Will you sign books other than Paper Towns while you are on tour?” Yeah, absolutely, I’ll sign anything other than skin, I have a strict no skin signing policy.

Okay Hank I will see you on the internet on Monday and in real life at the Paper Towns release party on Thursday