J: Good morning Hank, it's Monday.
So like Ze Frank and Wheezy Waiter I recently had the opportunity to talk to Rainn Wilson, and since I've always felt in my heart that Rainn Wilson would give really good romantic advice, I chose to ask twitter if they had romantic problems that we could potentially solve together.
And they did.

J: I just got dumped. Not me. Person I'm quoting. "I just got dumped. What do?"

R: "I think that euh, first of all, it is important to feel the feelings around getting dumped.
Uhm, people say like "oh you gotta get back on your feet and you gotta get out there and just do something fun and see your friends and remember what life's all about.”
But there is a grieving process. It is the death of something. It is the death of a relationship. There is pain with that. You have to experience that pain. You have to fully process it. You can't really move on until you've felt those feelings. And then you can move on in a lot of different ways.
But if you move on before you've processed it, it's gonna be like a little euhm, if they like— I had a doctor like had to take out a cyst out of my scalp. I had like a cyst in my scalp. They have to make sure they get it all cause then it can like grow back. It means you didn't get all of the stuff out of your cyst.

J: It's a fantastic analogy for me because I recently had a cyst drained by my doctor. And he drained it into a cup just so he could have the pleasure of showing me all the stuff that was inside of my cyst.

R: Where was your cyst?

J: Right here, on the inside of my arm (indicates area on arm)
This is, by the way, this is what old people talk about.

R: Their cysts?

J: How we drain our cysts.

R: I got a story, I got a medical story that's gonna blow that out of the water. Are you ready?

J: I'm ready.

R: I had my scrotum drained.

J: Oh boy.

R: I was collecting water in one of my scrotums, and so one of my ballsacks was way bigger than the other ballsack. It was like a golf ball and a baseball.

J: Oh my gosh.

R: At first, the doctor did a syringe.
(mimics the draining with a syringe)

J: (John shudders)

R: It was like 8 ounces.

J: Oh ho ho. (is horrified)

R: But you know what? It filled back up. It's called a hydrocele, look it up. Hydrocele. C-E-L-E
And then I had to go under the knife, and get it — they had to take a membrane out of my scrotum. But everything's fine, now. You should see it. In fact–
(stands up, reaches for zipper)

J: Yeah, no... Yesss!

J: When we started this conversation, Rainn, the one thing that I was confident about was that we were not going to discuss scrotal swelling.
So that just goes to show you that life is full of beautiful surprises.

R: That's right, you gotta roll with it.
I think we learned a very valuable life lesson and that's what happens when you get dumped: you just gotta roll with it. Bring it all back together.

J: (laughs) That's good advice! I remember when — I got dumped when I was like 22, and it was really devastating to me, and I said to someone I cared about: “I don't understand why this hurts so much.”
And she said: “it hurts because it mattered.”

R: Wow.

J: It was a huge thing for me to realize, that uhm, you know, there are things in life that hurt and they hurt because they were important.
And as you say, it's a real loss and one that needs to be grieved.

J: Well, I really appreciate you taking the time and giving us such amazingly good advice.
Check out SoulPancake at soulpancake.com, youtube.com/soulpancake
It's really, really interesting stuff and I'm really excited that, euhm, you're bringing this important voice to YouTube.

R: Well thank you! Euhm, you know, we do this all the time at SoulPancake: we talk about life's big questions and uhm we're gonna be exploring a lot of that stuff on our new YouTube channel. Do you have any YouTube channel pointers?

J: Yeah, I mean, the thing that's worked best for us is just to use Giraffe Sex as the thumbnail.

R: Hey, you know what the world's most dangerous animal is?

J: Hmmm, man?

R: (remains silent)

J: (laughs)

R: (gestures) Let's not say anything else. Let's walk away from this interview.

J: Alright.

R: Seriously, I– seriously, speak of my love: I - I love you.

J: I - I love you back, Rainn Wilson.
As we say in my home town: don't forget to be awesome.