Hank: Hello and welcome to Hank and Katherine play Super Mario Brothers U.
Katherine: Hmmm?
Hank: So what you doing Katherine?
Katherine: I'm reading an article about KISS in the episode of mental floss magazine.
Hank: You're weird. How about instead we play a game?
Katherine: Well I was waiting for you to deal with all of the things! The business.
Hank: All I had to do was push one button. And I did it.
Katherine: Okay.
Hank: Okay!
Katherine: And then deal with droopy microphone.
Hank: We're gonna go back to meringue clouds.
Katherine: The meringue ... boomerangs.
Hank: Oooooh this is gonna jump right on my head.
Katherine: Yeah, you are always just running into trouble instead of standing back and like, living.
Hank: Well, you gotta- gotta keep things happening! Gah-oops!
(Hank & Katherine laugh)
Katherine: Wo-AHHH!
(Katherine laughs)
Katherine: My god! 
(Hank & Katherine laugh)
Hank: I didn't do anything!
Katherine: OOOH yeah!
Hank: Awww...
Katherine: You're so good at it!
Hank: Oh, come on!
Katherine: Gaming.
Hank: Yeah I'm the best gamer! Everybody knows.
(Katherine strains)
Katherine: Oh!
Hank: Yeah, they keep hurting you afterwards. Ooh.
Katherine: You've been stinking.
Hank: You've got-
(Hank strains)
Hank: Come. On.
Katherine: Nice! Yeeaahhh, go for it little Mario!
(Hank strains)
Katherine: Don't go too crazy though!
Hank: Too crazy! I went too crazy!
(Katherine laughs)
Katherine: Every time!
Hank: I did- again I did the thing you told me not to do
Katherine: So prophetic! I'm- I'm a prophet. Get it! Ugh, get him- get really- get him now!
Hank: Oh come on! I hardened the floor!
Katherine: Get him! There you go!
Hank: Oh yeah that gave me like-
Hank & Katherine: OOOOOOH!
Katherine: Oh man! Again with you and the- haha haha! Ooooh! Hellooo! I will kill you! OH goddammit!
Hank: OH wow! I'd already died.
(Katherine laughs)
Katherine: I jumped all over his head. 17 times.
(Hank laughs)
Katherine: But I didn't kill him.
Hank: It doesn't sound like you jumped on his head?
Katherine: I didn't, I just jumped through him ... about 6 times.
(Hank laughs)
Hank: That's really annoying
Katherine: Yeah. 
(Hank sighs)
Katherine: Again! Yep, good job.
Hank: I'm embarrassed.
(Katherine laughs)
Katherine: I'm taking all of the stuff.
Hank: No you're not!
(Hank laughs)
Hank: Oh, why did you go up there? I have the freeze-y spray?
Katherine: 'Cause I can do what I want!
(Hank & Katherine laugh)
Katherine: Oh, nice.
Hank: It went the wrong way Katherine. I didn't mean to!
Katherine: Come on! This is a thing here!
Hank: Oh, you mean there's stuff in there?
Katherine: Yesssss!
Hank: Go get it! Alright, see, now where I wore it everything was great, everything's dandy.
Katherine: Oh god!
Hank: Oh thank god it's so bouncy! Alright.
Katherine: Dammit. I missed. Oh I slid! I slid! I slid!
(Hank laughs)
Katherine: I slid off- no!
(Hank & Katherine laugh)
Hank: OOOOOOOOOkay! Everything's fine!
Katherine: Oh my god.
Hank: I thought I was gonna make it no problem! Oh yeah! One and shake it! Yep- oop! Oh... where you going?
Katherine: I bounced off of the bouncy!
Hank: Yes! That was close. He was coming out!
Katherine: I knoooow!
Hank: Oh, hello. Piranha! Piranha plant! Oh jeez, somebody boomeranged!
Katherine: Please don't die. Please don't die. Okay.
Hank: Okay. I'll go first. Yaaaaaay!
Katherine: Dammit.
(Hank & Katherine laugh)
Hank: Sorry!
Katherine: I had a plan!
Hank: I finished first.
Katherine: Mm. Mhmm.
Hank: Teehee!
(Hank & Katherine laugh)
Katherine: Typical.
(Hank & Katherine laugh again)
Hank: Teehee.
Katherine: Teehee! Teehee- we did it! We did it!
Hank: We did that one.
Katherine: We can't go to the other one now.
Hank: We still can't go to the other one. Completism! It is not how I play games but it is how Katherine plays games.
Katherine: I wanna play all the levels!
Hank: Aww!
Katherine: No I don't like that. Go back. Try again. Go back- left.
Hank: Go back- oh. Is it gonna change? Probably not gonna change. 
Katherine: Ohh.
Hank: No, it's probably not gonna change. And I don't even know-
Katherine: There's a box up there though. Let's go get the box!
Hank: Okay, let's go get the box.
Katherine: There are boxes.
Hank: Thanks! 
Katherine: Oooh. Yeah, alright, let's go back.
Hank: Alright we got ourselves an ice flower, that's frickin sweet! Alright, now, I think we've figured it out. I think we've figured out the aim of this game. Which is 'just wait'. 
Katherine: Oh, so annoying. Yep. Dangit. 
Hank: Oh come on!
Katherine: I hate it. So much. I hate it. I hate it.
Hank: Agh- I couldn't. It lies. That is not the one that I wanted to go to! How do you tell? 
Katherine: I don't know.
Hank: You can't tell!
Katherine: I don't know how it works
Hank: Bubble! We don't need this. Bubble.
Katherine: Maybe ... oh god I miss! See now it's easier, there's only two of them.
Hank: Yeah, I guess so. Oh, come on!
(Katherine strains)
Katherine: Yeeeaah!
Hank: Okay!
Katherine: See! Haha- ooooh. A star.
Hank: Star- that's good. It starts us off for the next one.
Katherine: Kill us the next ones.
Hank: Kill us the next one. Maybe now that one won't come back too?
Katherine: Yeah. I don't think he'll come back.
Hank: Oh man, alright. Good job, I'm really proud of you-
Katherine: To the right. Well, it helps that we're at least big. It gives me a little confidence, that I'm not gonna die wh- hey! Perfect!
Hank: Oh it just gave us - it just gave it to us. Alright. Yes, I am aware of the situation. Thank you. 
Katherine: Just takes you an awful lot of time to animate those rainbows.
Hank: Yes. Alright.
Katherine: Let's do it. A quick dip in the sky! Sounds lovely!
Hank: Sounds easy like it's not gonna be a problem at all! A quick nip! I have two lives and you have one, so let's not double die.
Katherine: Whoa! Okay! Oh let's go swimming in the bubble!
Hank: It's swimming in the bubbles.
Katherine: Swim in the air! A swim swim!
Hank: Aw that was poorly. Aw. I'm sorry. 
Katherine: It's alright! You needed it more than I did.
Hank: Well you would have got one two if I hadn't hurt myself.
Katherine: Oh.
Hank: Where you going?
Katherine: What are you going?
Hank: I'm going on- the direction that is the way to go! I think? OH COME ON. You gave me one frickin millisecond. 
Katherine: Me?
Hank: No, the piranha plant. 
(Katherine strains)
Hank: Yeah, you don't really jump out of those things.
Katherine: That's how you gotta do it! How else do you do it?
Hank: Yeah you can't. A quick nip in the sky!
Katherine: This was like one of my favorite levels from the last one.
Hank: Yeah it was really fun.
Katherine: Hat- oh it disappeared.
Hank: Aw- sorry!
Katherine: OH YOU SON OF A- ah, you almost did it again. 
Hank: I know, jump!
Katherine: Amazing. Amazing! Amazing. 
Hank: I killed you. 
(Katherine sighs)
Hank: I mean... that's what I had to do.
Katherine: It's what you had to do. It's what you had to do, shoot that first one at me. 
(Hank laughs)
Hank: I didn't have to do that. But that was obviously an accident. 
(Katherine sighs)
Hank: Thank you, world, for my- brrauuuubraaa! I have no idea what that was.
Katherine: What the hell?
Hank: Oh gigantic!
Katherine: OOOOOH my goodness, stay in the bubble.
Hank & Katherine: (singing) Stay in the bubble not die!
Katherine: Oh keep going! Aaaand quick jump! Good job!
Hank: Alrighty birds!
Katherine: Alrighty birds! Oh dear! Poorly timed!
Hank: Oh darn it. Whoa! Hey guys
Katherine: Jumpy, jumpies!
Hank: How's it doing? That was mean. Oh! COME ON. You're gonna put that there, and have it not be a frickin mushroom!?
Katherine: Oooooooh oh no- oh don't. Oh no. OH no!
Hank: Panicked! Panicked!
(Katherine laughing)
Katherine: Why would you bubble?
Hank: Panicked! Obviously!
Katherine: Well I've got 5 lives again, so 
Hank: Okay, good. I super panicked!
Katherine: You were like 'AH'!
Hank: There was a thiiiing!
Katherine: I hate those guys!
Hank: They're made of iiiiink! 
Katherine: I hate them!
Hank: It's weird! 
Katherine: It's spiky death ink! ...Seriously, what the heck are they supposed to be?
Hank: I don't know.
Katherine: Comments.
Hank: Comments, what are those things? Oooh! 
Katherine: How bout not?
Hank: I got it. Oh, you just killed me.
Katherine: Sorry. I had to go! I had to go for the thing. There was the thing? 
Hank: They fall down? 
Katherine: Yeah...
Hank: That's the mechanic.
Katherine: Had to go for it.
(Hank & Katherine laugh) 
Katherine: Saved you from that though, didn't I!
(Hank & Katherine laugh again)
Hank: Uh-huh.
Katherine: Yeah. What the balls is happening here?
Hank: Oh man, that was like- that was like fun.
Katherine: What the balls is happening here? What the balls is happening here!?
Hank: I don't know, it looks like something I'm gonna jump on top of. 
Katherine: Oh.
Hank: That was- that did not work.
Katherine: Oh yeah. Great. Great! GREAT!
Hank: LOOK! If you don't-!
Katherine: What do you think is gonna happen!?
Hank: You were watching what was happening! You knew what I was doing!
Katherine: I was trying, actually, to do my own thing. Imagine that! And not spending all of my time babysitting your-
Hank: Ohoho!
Katherine: Mischief. 
Hank: I- let me out of this. 
(Hank & Katherine laugh) 
(Hank makes indistinguishable noises)
Katherine: Oh god oh god oh god I fell out of the bubble. I fell out of the bubble!
Hank: Why is this in the sky?
Katherine: To take a quick dip. I forgot to dip.
Hank:  To take a quick dip. You forgot to dip the dip.
Katherine: Oh great- oh! I missed! Haha, no!
(Hank & Katherine laugh) 
Hank: It was a fun level!
Katherine: Yeah. I like the swimming in the air bubbles. 
Hank: Eugh!
(Katherine laughs)
Hank: Caution! Caution ahead. Are you waiting for me to come back?
Katherine: You never know though, but- you know. You just go ahead.  You just go on ahead there. 
Hank: Yaaaaay! 
Katherine: Yaaay Luigi!
Hank: Fart noise!
Katherine: Boo boo boop!
Hank: Thaaaank you for watching this episode of Hank and Katherine play Super Mario's Brothers U!
Katherine: New Super Mario Brother's U!
Hank: Now we get to play the castle next time- that's what that is, right? It's a castle? 
Katherine: I think so.
Hank: I'm terrified of it considering how hard the last one was- the middle one. 
Katherine: I agree.
Hank: You will not see us, we will not see you but you will hear us next time, goodbye!