Good morning Hank, it's Sunday, it's News Day, and that means it's time to get on board the Fail Boat with our intrepid Captain: the Dread Pirate Fireball Wilson Roberts!

Hank, the Fail Boat is, of course, the puppy-captained, questionably-seaworthy vessel that we, Nerdfighters, use to transport ourselves around the various islands of our archipelagic empire, known as Nerdfighteria. AND, that we also use to sail around the world, learning about places currently experiencing world-suck.

Where to first, Skipper?
Willy says, "Italia!"
Yes, Hank, first we're sailing the Fail Boat off to Italy, and then walking eight miles inland to the Vatican, where there has lately been quite a lot of hullabaloo over a certain quasi-bishop named Richard Williamson.

Hank, Richard Williamson is a crazy person who, until recently, was excommunicated from the Catholic Church, on account of his being...crazy. But then recently, Pope Benedict lifted the excommunication so that they could possibly begin the process of rehabilitating this dude into the church, so he could be a bishop again. AND, a lot of people are upset about this because Richard Williamson has repeatedly denied that the Holocaust involved the murder of six million Jews.

Now, thanks to the public outcry, Williamson has agreed to "reconsider" the historical evidence of the Holocaust. Which is like reconsidering the historic evidence that America had a president called Ronald Reagan.

So my guess is that Richard Williamson wants to be a bishop, and so he's gonna say, "Okay, there was a Holocaust. I'm sorry." And then maybe he's gonna get rehabilitated. Which would be an error. Because in addition to being a Holocaust denier, Richard Williamson also has a lot of crazy beliefs. Like, for instance that women should not be allowed to go to college. And, perhaps most importantly, Richard Williamson believes that women should not be allowed to wear pants. Mr. Williamson, when you try to take away our ladies' pants, we here in Nerdfighteria take that quite personally.

Let me explain something to you sir: the book title "Everything that Rises Must Converge...In Your Pants" is funny. The book title "Everything that Rises Must Converge...In a 19th Century Hoop-skirt that was Designed Explicitly to Limit Your Movements and Thereby Rob You of Your Power" is NOT funny. And Roger Williamson, YOU, bishop or no, will not take away my "In Your Pants" jokes.

Next stop on the Fail Boat BARK BARK BARK...oh! Captain Fireball, do you have something you want to say to would-be bishop Williamson? BARK BARK GRRR BARK BARK BARK
Oh my, you tiny, white, fluffy pirates sure do have dirty mouths! I wouldn't have used THOSE words, but I do agree with the sentiment.

Where to next, oh Captain, my Captain? BARK BARK
Very well, then. Full speed ahead to Australia!
And just-because-it's-cold-at-your-house-doesn't-mean-global-warming-is-a-lie-news: the deadliest wildfires in the history of Australia are currently raging in the south of the country.

So, Hank, for the last little while that has been really hot, and really dry, and really windy in Australia, like, 117 degrees Fahrenheit hot! And these conditions have combined with what is, in at least some cases, apparent arson to create EPICALLY horrible wildfires. Hundreds of square miles of wilderness has burned, entire towns have been destroyed, and many people have lost their lives.

Hank, you and I have many friends and fellow Nerdfighters, who, when they are not wintering in Nerdfighteria, live in southern Australia. I know that we're both concerned about them, and I hope that they know that our thoughts and prayers are with them.

Hank, this is yourself, or possibly a Me, wearing a You costume in an attempt to cheer up Australian Nerdfighters. From Captain Fireball Roberts and the whole crew of the Fail Boat, this is Hank Green, saying "Best Wishes."

Why, yes, I do also have a Me disguise. By the way, thank you to the Nerdfighter who made this, but why did I get Kim Jong Il's haircut?