Lizzie: So Bing's party was a huge success, everything went perfectly! It was the best night ever! Just kidding. In case you haven't noticed, any party involving Bing Lee ends up having a huge wrench thrown into it. And, as usual, that wrench is dressed as a soulless, joyless newsie. But this time it's just too far, too far.

My name is Lizzie Bennet and guess who ruined my life by forcing an amazing guy to stand me up?

[Intro plays]

Lizzie: So George was supposed to meet me at Bing's the other night but it kept getting later, and later... and George kept being not there. And as luck would have it, since I failed to be otherwise occupied, I ended up having to dance with Darcy. Yet again. The guy asked, I didn't know what to say, he caught me off guard. But you'd think he'd get the hint after the number of unpleasant interactions we've had!

Lizzie as Darcy: I'm glad you danced with me. It's not like any other girls will.

Lydia as Lizzie: Ugh, whatever you suck.

Lizzie: Hey I let you be me, stick to what happened.

Lydia: Who says I'm not? Fine.

Lydia as Lizzie: Bt-dubs, Darce. You were a total jerk face for the way you acted towards George the other night.

Lizzie as Darcy: George Wickham? Pfft. His feelings do not concern me. No one's feelings concern me but my own.

Lydia as Lizzie: But when he gets here tonight you better be super nice to him. Actually, don't speak at all. Better yet, just stop existing.

Lizzie as Darcy: George Wickham knows better than to show his strikingly handsome face around here. 

Lydia as herself: Or his totally rocking body, am I right?

Lydia as Lizzie: Whatever. He'll totally show up. He promised me he would.

Lizzie as Darcy: That man will not make an appearance, of this I am certain. And it is all my fault. Presumably because no one can stand to be in my company, because I am rude and selfish and ruin the lives of all people I come in contact with.

Lydia as Lizzie: Blech.

Lizzie: And that is how Darcy made George Wickham stand me up.

Lydia: Has he called you yet?

Lizzie: Darcy?

Lydia: No, G-dubs, has he called you yet.

Lizzie: No... I--I mean you know, he probably just... 

Lydia: He probably should have called, don't you think?

Lizzie: Well, I mean... Darcy and... Yeah, why hasn't he called? He totally should have called.

Lydia: Totes.

Lizzie: Am I getting boy advice from you?

Lydia: Heck yeah you are! 'Cause I'm the LY-DI-A! Peace out.

Lizzie: Speaking of intense people at the party, Mom found her way to the young people area and took it upon herself to mingle, introducing herself as "the inevitable future mother-in-law of the host." And I know Mom is just kind of constantly embarrassing, but this really took the cake.

Jane: Oh, Lizzie I'm sorry for interrupting.

Lizzie: No, no come on in, I've actually been wondering where you were.

Jane: I went over to Bing's to drop off some cookies that I baked for him as a surprise.

Lizzie: Awww, cookies on his birthday. That is the cutest.

Jane: We had to stop carpooling because I've been working such long hours lately, and I didn't really get to see much of him at the party, because he was playing host, so I just wanted to do something extra special, but he wasn't home.

Lizzie: That party was crazy. Bing has a lot of friends and family. But it looked like Caroline was able to keep you company.

Jane: Yeah, I was able to meet some of Bing's college buddies. It was nice. Oh, that's his twitter. He must've tweeted.

Lizzie: Awww, you have him on twitter notification?! You two just keep getting cuter! Jane? What is it? [reading from phone] "Small towns are great but back to the big city. Hello, Los Angeles." What?! Did he tell you he was going?

Jane: No, he didn't say anything.

Lizzie: Nothing at all?

Jane: No. Um, I don't, I mean... What does this mean?