Lydia: I'm back! Oh, I know you guys missed me so much, and since Lizzie's off reconciling with her B-est of FFs, I did not want to deprive you of the adorbs. But I have some bad news...um, my emo-tastic cousin Mary won't be on my vlogs anymore, she actually won't be anywhere anymore...no one's quite sure how that entire library of books collapsed on top of her or why no one heard her crying for help, but they found one in her hand afterwards still open, pressed up against her cheek and it just kills me every day to know that she will never know if those boys found Alaska! 

Mary: That was terrible.

Lydia: Come on, you know I'm a great actress. Why else do you think I'm always on camera? 

Mary: Probably because you point it at your face.

Lydia: I see your snark has not been frightened away by your priestess of the night wardrobe yet.

Mary: I see your love of theatrics hasn't been crushed by the harsh reality of our bleak and pointless existence yet.

Lydia: You missed me.

Mary: Whatever, you missed me more.

Lydia: I finally got my car back so I can come visit Mary whenever I want!

Mary: Please don't tell the internet where I live. I do not need any arsenic-filled cupcakes or love poems written with the blood of dead squirrels showing up at my door.

Lydia: Wow, Mary, stop being so depress-o. Anyway, since Lizzie's off visiting Charlotte and Jane is off looking for that jerk-ass loser Bing, being at home is going to super dull! So I'll probably be here like all the freaking time.

Mary: That sounds a lot less ominous than last time.

Lydia: Whatever, you love it.

Mary: I guess it could be worse.

Lydia: Okay everyone, talk to you soon! (blows kiss) Love you!

Outro: Dana nananana dana nananana yeah!