The mink lost her furry scarf, she said it was stolen,
The shoe salesman wanted to help, 'cause he had so much sole,
But then his whole left side fell off, but he's all right now,
And the pregnant heifer saw it happen, yeah, she had a cow,
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.

The bike can't stand up by itself, it says it's two-tired,
And the human cannonball was late for work and he got fired,
And if your pants are too big you'll get exposed in the end,
And if you crash your fancy car you'll see how a Mercedes bends,
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.

I forgot how to throw a boomerang, but then it came back to me,
It's just like riding a bike, or playing with your Wii,
If you don't pay your exorcist, you'll get repossessed,
And the pirate shot himself so he could have that dead man's chest,
And the CO2 delivery guy always gives me gas,
And I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass,
Yeah, I really hate mules because they're so half-ass.