Good morning Hank, it's Tuesday.

So next month I'm going on a brief tour with Nat Wolff, Shailene Woodley, and Ansel Elgort, who play, respectively, Isaac, Hazel, and Gus in The Fault in Our Stars movie. And people get to decide where we're going, and I have to remember to talk about that, but first I wanna talk about prisons. Boy, today's video is gonna be funny!

Hank, a lot of times when we talk to non-profits about outreach, they're like we're gonna make a GIF ("guy-f") of poop on a stick because clean water is important, and poop is funny, and your audience will like that, because you guys are funny. Then I'm like a) I think you mean GIF ("jif") or GIF ("gif"), I mean words belong to their users, but GIF ("guy-f") is a stretch, and b) I don't think that funny stuff actually works; people just want you to talk about what you care about. It's not like we rely on pratfalls to get laughs or whatever.

Anyway, I've lost the thread. I really liked your video about prisons but there were a couple things...oooohhhh! Ow. Oh. That actually turned into a very painful pratfall. That better have been funny. 

Right, anyway, I really liked your video about prisons. It spurred some interesting discussions, and I wanted to add a couple things. First, there was a lot of talk in comments about the role of race in sentencing, and the data there is pretty overwhelming in the U.S. A 2013 study by the U.S. Sentencing Commission found that African-Americans on average received sentences 20% longer than white people who committed similar crimes. Also, they found that that disparity is actually increasing. Socio-economic class is also a big factor in sentencing, and the question of length of sentence brings me to one other point I want to make.

Per capita, a bunch of European countries actually admit more people to prison per year than the US does, but their sentences are much shorter; and that's one of the big reasons we have the highest incarceration rate in the world. It isn't that we sentence so many people to prison, it's that we sentence them for so long. And in the US that's driven largely by long sentences for drug offenses. I've put some links in the dooblydoo for those who are interested.

Alright, moving on to TFIOS movie stuff, so quick catch up Hank: I wrote a book called The Fault in Our Stars; which by the way comes out in paperback today, that's probably what I should have made my video about, but whatever, I wanted to talk about prisons. And GIFs ("guy-fs"), apparently. Anyway, the movie adaptation of The Fault in Our Stars comes out June 6th, but like the hullabaloo and travel leading into the movie for me like now.

And as part of that hullabaloo, Nat, and Ansel, and Shailene, and I are going to be visiting several places around the U.S., doing I don't really know what yet. But it will be fun, I'm sure! And Fox is letting people choose where we go based on Tumblr notes for various states, so you can go to the link in the dooblydoo, find your state, like and reblog it, and that counts as, like, two votes for your state.

Now, Hank, you would think - and I would think Fox probably thought - that the votes would like up according to the population of each state, but at least so far, no! There are some very well-organized small states, which is awesome, because I would like to visit North Carolina!

Anyway, selfishly, Hank, I want Nerdfighters to decide where we go, so Nerdfighters, if you don't mind, go like and reblog your state on the Tumblr. What's that? Oh, apparently it's not called "the Tumblr", Hank, it's just "Tumblr". Nah. I grow old, Hank. I grow old. I am literally wearing the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Hank, I don't even know what this video is about today. Like, what do you call a video like this? "TFIOS Prison Movie"? I just had a great idea for a movie! Alright, Hank, I have to drop everything and go write my TFIOS Prison Movie screenplay, I'll see you on Friday.