Hank: Hello and welcome to Dear Hank and John.

John: Or as I prefer to think of it, Dear John and Hank.

Hank: This is a podcast where I, Hank Green, and John, my brother, will answer your questions, give you some dubious advice, and bring you all the week's news from both Mars, the planet, and AFC Wimbledon. John, how you doing?

John: I'm doing well. How are you, Hank?

Hank: I'm pretty good. I've had a bit of an annoying day, I'll be honest. We can talk about that later. But first, Oof. 

John: A. E. Hausman's poem on death and war, and also I think the centrality of the body. This is something I've been thinking a lot about, Hank.

It was really in the First World War that poets in Europe started to grapple with the question of the seriousness of destroying or endangering or acting violently upon a human body because you know for most of European history for the last thousand years the destruction of the body was secondary to the destruction or endangering of the soul. like you know the soul was going to survive in a way that the body wasn't and it was really in World War I. when poets began to grapple with. you know That in a world where maybe there aren't human souls or maybe the human soul doesn't survive the human body that began to grapple with kind of the seriousness of bodily destruction. And Housman did that very interestingly throughout his career, but I think also in that poem.

Hank: Well, my refrigerator isn't working.

John: Yeah.

Hank: Which is super annoying.

John: That is that is tough. You know. what it reminds me of a little bit is that 20 million actual human beings died in World War One. But I'm sorry about your fridge.

Hank: I've been shuffling and materials around and knocking on neighbors doors so that I can put my frozen vegetables in there and their freezers. And boy, what? You've ruined all of my complaint, John. I can no longer complain about the thing I wanted to complain about.

John: Can I ask you a question and or provide you with some dubious advice?

Hank: OK, go ahead.

John: When you've paid 89 cents for a small container of frozen green peas, I'm not entirely convinced it's necessary to expend the effort to walk to your neighbors and beg for a bit of their freezer space.

Hank: Well, it's not just that, John. Katherine and I worked very hard to prepare a great deal of pesto with the ridiculously abundant basil plants in our backyard. And that was a long time invested in what is delicious, delicious pesto. But we cannot eat it fast enough, so it has to be frozen.

And if it were to unfreeze, we would lose All of that hard work that we as a couple expended, and there's a lot more than just pesto in that pesto, John. You know what I mean.

John: Sure, yeah, no, there's love in that pesto. You're almost making me cry, but instead you're making me bored. Let's take some questions.

Hank: Alright, we have a question here from Angela who asks, Dear Hank and John, I'm going into high school this year. I'm going to a different school for most of my friends. My best friend recently told me that I need to be careful who I befriend in order to protect my image, in quotation marks. This really confused me because I was unaware that I had an image to protect.

He said I should use high school as an opportunity to make something of myself. I'm guessing he means to build my social status, but I really don't know. So my question here is, is it really worthwhile to quote Make something of yourself in high school.

John: Oh boy. First off, I don't like any of your friends' advice. It seems even more dubious than our advice. This idea of protecting your image, being careful in who you befriend.

I think you should be careful in who you befriend, you know, just because you want to be surrounded by, you know, like positive influences in your life and not people who are going to be manipulative or destructive or going to be hurtful to you. but I don't think that you need to protect your image and I think that you're quite right that you don't have an image to protect like you have no control over the way that the world sees you and I don't think you should try much to try to control that. you should try to control you know the way that the people who care about you see you and the way that you see yourself. those are the people whose opinions ought to matter to you. now that's. very Nick Carraway. He says that he was one of those men who reached such an acute limited excellence at 21 that everything afterwards savors of anticlimax. You don't want to be the kind of person who reaches such an acute limited excellence in your youth that everything afterwards savors of anticlimax.

You want to climax much later, ideally when you're like 87.

Hank: Yeah, I mean the interesting thing about the phrase make something of yourself is the word something. Because what are you making of yourself except for yourself? If that quote just removed something of and said you need to make yourself, then I would be like, yes, you need to make yourself. And however that, whatever that is for you, and however you wish to make yourself and make yourself a more self person, do that.

And do as little as possible, and this is very hard, I'm wondering about what other people are thinking about who yourself is.

John: Hank, that was a very beautiful answer, although perhaps a little bit too long, but very beautiful. I have another question for you. It's from Pien. It's a Dutch.

Hank: How was my answer too long when you talked? for like 25 minutes?

John: Oh, no, that's the rules is that my answers are allowed to be long. I am floral in my conversing. And by the way, I don't think there's anything wrong. A Fart Bag.

Pien, Hank from the Netherlands. Dear John and Hank, if you could punch anyone in the face with no limitations to space, time, fictional universes, and or strength, who would it be and why? What a great question.

Hank: Well, I worry about being as strong as I'd like to be because I'm afraid that now if I punch someone in the face and I'm like, okay, this is gonna be a super strong punch, and I punch them and then I'm like, wow, I evaporated their head. I did not expect for that. Yeah. So...

John: Well, I think it's got to be somebody who said you're ready to evaporate. I actually think there are two questions inside of this question, Hank. There's the question of, like, who would you punch in the face because they're the worst person ever. And then there's the question of, like, who would you punch in the face just because they need a punch in the face to, like, you know, get with reality.

Like, I remember, you know my cousin Eric, also your cousin Eric, Lisa's husband. I was coming back from a volleyball game. When I first moved to Chicago, Lisa and Eric were very nice to me.

I'd just been dumped by this girl, and I was completely devastated about it. And Lisa and Eric would take me to activities to try to get me out of this rat-infested walk-in closet that I lived in. And we were coming back one day and I was talking about the girl who dumped me, even though it had been like four months.

And Eric just turned. He was driving and he just turned around and he smacked me in the face. He didn't say anything.

He just smacked me. And it was very helpful. It was very helpful.

It was like negative reinforcement. I'm not advising that anyone do that. Again, I'm never in favor of violence, but I found that particular act of violence rather useful.

I would punch Stalin in the face, and I would punch him very hard, and I would try to kill him.

Hank: Max out my strength. I want to punch a. hole in this man's head.

John: Yeah, I would go ahead and turn the strength up to 11 and punch Stalin in the face.

Hank: So I'll take one that is just somebody who needs a punch. And I'm going to say, whoever was in charge of all of the awful, awful decisions that led to the mortgage crisis in America.

John: Mmm. A nice punch to a banker's face. Yeah. Boy, you know.

Hank: Yeah, mostly because I feel like that person was just having such a good time when they were doing it. Yeah. And then now nobody knows who they are. It's like, nobody knows.

And they totally got away with it. And it's a bunch of people. So, but I'd like to punch whoever it was that thought that it would be a really great idea to create that culture of let's make money and who cares if we're going to ruin the entire economy doing it.

John: You know Hank, I know a lot of bankers and I often hear from my banker friends and acquaintances that they get a bad rap. And I'm sure that there are bankers listening to this podcast now who feel very oppressed by the. sort of general response to bankers. And the truth is there's lots of great bankers out there who provide important services, you know, like the sort of like short term loans that small businesses need to succeed and grow and lots of, you know, I'm not I'm not but you know what I mean when I say banker, the Wall Street people who, you know, say that their responsibility is to their clients and not to the social order. and they often say like I don't understand why people hate us and like they just hate us because they need a scapegoat. and there's a little bit of me that's like or maybe people hate you because of you the the actions that you took and because of the worldview that that you put forward and people just don't like it.

Hank: like they just don't I think they need a punch in the face.

John: Yeah, not like Stalin does though.

Hank: No, no, no.

John: God, it would feel good to punch Stalin. How good would that feel just to feel his mustache on your fist?

Hank: That's a little creepy.

John: I hate Stalin's mustache.

Hank: I was just imagining it sort of like. brushing against your knuckles and I was...

John: No, no, no, no, no. His mustache is gonna hit the back of his brain when I punch him. You know me, Hank. I'm powerful.

Hank: This question is from Jacob, who asks, Dear Hank and John, So lots of people have trouble understanding why online communities are so great and how they can actually be fulfilling. I have my reasons that I share, but I'd love to hear your thoughts to be able to add more to the discussion. Thank you.

John: Yeah, that's a great question, Jacob. I think for me, it's just that online communities are a place where I can get really excited about stuff that not that many people in my real life get excited about. So like in 2006, when I was a member of the Lonely Girl 15 fan community and a sports racer, a member of the fan community around Ze Frank's The Show, there just weren't that many people in my real life who were equally excited about online video you know and so it was a place that I could connect to people who shared my interests and passions and who also were like making. really interesting creative work in response to the stuff that I liked that I could also appreciate and even participate in and so that that to me is what's so special and so real about online communities. but I also think like the friendships that you make online are just as real or at least have the potential to be just as real as friendships in real life.

Hank: Yeah and I Love both sorts of communities and both sorts of relationships and there is much to be said for surrounding yourself with both of those things and I you know there's. there's something definitely different about real life relationships. I feel like there's more information can be communicated more quickly and sometimes it is easier to understand another person more fully. in online Relationships can be easier to sort of project a version of yourself though sometimes that's really valuable and really wonderful to do and fun to do rather than sort of be like the you know exactly or to have. the sort of the way that you communicate the way that you look and act and talk sort of be the thing that defines you initially in a. relationship in the real world because there's all of that And you know, that information that you're passing that you don't intend to pass just by your language, by your quirks and the various stereotypes that we cannot get away from in our culture. Yeah, there are a lot of advantages and to me, the fact that it is being, you're being, People are asked to justify these online relationships is a little ridiculous and something that is going to go away.

John: Yeah, we're one generation away from that going away. because certainly when my kids ask, you know, can I meet these internet friends? I'll say, yeah, you know, as long as you meet them in a public place and I'm, you know. In the car, watching. Hank, we have a question, a very important question, from Maggie, who writes, Dear John and Hank, what are fun and cheap date ideas?

Hank: Oh. Well, I have lots of those.

John: This is a great question for Hank, because he rather specializes in things that are cheap.

Hank: Ha ha ha ha ha. But not in dating, which I did very little of in my life. But I have lots of fun and. cheap things that I like to do with my friends, and, uh, and... So there are lots of public spaces that are just there for the funning.

Playgrounds are great. And you might think, I'm an adult. Why would I go to a playground?

Well, go after dark and it's a whole different experience. It's just a great place to sit around and hang out and swing on swings and, you know, be both an adult and a child at the same time. You can go to bars and not drink is a really great way to not Spend money. you can. you can do whatever activity they have there whether it's like watching music or karaoke or trivia Pinball pinball which does cost money, but not a ton and yeah, so you can.

The people at the bar might be like why do you keep coming to the bar and you are not justifying? Your presence here by giving us money, but you know It's a place to hang out. Just be in. there is a bit of an advantage for them as long as you're not taking up the last table or anything.

So there's that and also. there's just a great deal of fun that can be had on the inside of wherever you dwell and that is there are lots of games that you don't even have to buy. One of my favorite is called Foldy Foldy Draw Draw where you write a phrase and then you fold the the paper over and then the person below draws that phrase and then the next person tries to translate that drawing into words and then it's like telephone but with drawings and writing. And I know that it's not called Foldy Foldy Draw Draw, it has other names, Exquisite Corpse is one of them, but I prefer to call it Foldy Foldy Draw Draw.

And there are lots of games like that which require nothing more than pen and paper or maybe a die or just very simple things. that is very fun. And then also just talking. Talking is very cheap.

Cheap is free. Or cooking together. Cooking together is a wonderful thing to do with a friend.

And so you say like, yes, come over. And this is a little weird, but we're going to make lasagna or tacos. And you're going to bring margarita. mix.

And we're going to have a good night. And that's a weird date. But look, it's going to be way more fun because this is about people experiencing other people not paying for something to do.

That some other person has created.

John: those are all good ideas Hank if you definitely don't want to have the relationship work out. but But I do Because I like Maggie I care about her first off Maggie's under 21. So your margarita mix suggestion is literally illegal.

Hank: Hey, hey, you can have murder margarita mix without tequila in it. It's just not very good.

John: It's just awful. um that's yeah that's gonna make a date better. nothing makes a date better like virgin margarita mix. um Hank as you know I'm a huge fan of the uh. mixed martial arts fighter Rowdy Ronda Rousey.

Hank: um undefeated new information to me but okay she's fantastic.

John: uh you should really read her AMA on Reddit. anyway I was reading her AMA on Reddit a couple days ago and she said that her ideal date and I trust her um is. uh nothing is to do nothing is to just um sit around and do. nothing because if you go on a date with someone who tries to show you an amazing amazing time like well are they not interested enough in you to listen to you and are they not interesting enough to just be themselves with you? so My recommendation, forget this playground wazania business, do nothing. And don't play any foldy foldy, what do you call it, what do you call it, exquisite corpse?

Hank: Foldy foldy draw draw?

John: I think it's hilarious that, you know, a game that was played by surrealist artists that was hugely important to the art history of surrealism is now called foldy foldy draw draw. Anyway.

Hank: I have complicated reasons why I prefer... The name Foldy Foldy Draw Draw to Exquisite Corpse and they are good artistic reasons that we can talk about some of their time.

John: I believe you. I'm just saying that if you're going to use it as a suggestion, people will be better off googling Exquisite Corpse than googling Foldy Foldy Draw Draw. Although maybe you could register foldyfoldydrawdraw.com and teach people how to play it there.

Hank: Or I could box it up and sell it for 20 bucks. Just a bunch of. pieces of paper and pencils.

John: It comes with a pencil and a piece of paper and instructions on how to play Foldy Foldy Draw Draw, the hot new game from Hank Green. Today's podcast is sponsored by Foldy Foldy Draw Draw. Available now for just $20 at foldyfoldydrawdraw.com. Foldy Foldy Draw Draw, a game that involves nothing but a piece of paper, a pencil, and your imagination.

But don't worry, we provide the piece of paper and the pencil.

Hank: This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Stalin's Mustache. Absolutely awful, unless pressed against the back of his skull.

John: This episode of Dear Hank and John is brought to you by Frozen Pesto, Frozen Pesto, our nation's number one unrenewable resource. Frozen Pesto, you literally can't get it anywhere else so you'd better hike five miles to find a neighbor whose freezer you can put it in.

Hank: How far away do your neighbors live? I just walked next door and I was like, hey, can I put some stuff in your freezer? And he was like, uh, yeah, come on in.

John: Anyway, yeah, you should do something minimal on the date and just find out if. you like each other and then once you like each other I think you can start doing fun stuff like foldy foldy draw draw or you know like going to free concerts or going to bars and only drinking. I mean coke which they usually give away for free if you're not drinking because you can claim you're a designated driver. Yeah, and then I just I just disagree.

Hank: I think that I think that you should have some kind of activity that you can't just like be like. hey Let's go on a date. We're gonna see. I think it's good to like, we're gonna make, we're gonna do something together, we're gonna make lasagna.

John: Well Hank, I don't wanna brag. What's wrong with that? Which of us has been dumped way more than the other?

Hank: You have been dumped more than me.

John: Way more, because I've done so much more dating.

Hank: Right, I mean, I don't know that you, that makes you qualified to give good dating advice when you've just had a lot of unsuccessful dates.

John: I'm just saying, Maggie, Maggie, if you wanna get dumped. Listen to my advice. If you want to marry your first. love, listen to Hank's. It's up to you.

Hank: This question is from Francis who asks, Dear Hank and John, One of my favorite YA authors said she would never write a book about people in their 20s. She said people in their 20s already know themselves and their definition of who they are is set in stone. Do you think this is true? I'm 26 and I'm still learning who I am as a person.

John: Well, I mean, I think I understand what the author meant. And I've said things about adults that I kind of regret in trying to explain why I like writing about teenagers. But I know I don't think that you've you're finished when you're and When you get to your 20s or that you already know yourself, I thought that when I was in high school I thought that when I was younger I felt like Adolescence was all the really interesting human stuff and then you kind of got to be an adult and you just sort of rode it out until death like you you just. And that has not been my experience at all.

I do think the change maybe slows down. a little, but the change is still quite dramatic, at least in my life. When I look back at my early 30s or at my 20s, my life was very different in every way, and the way that I looked at the world was different, and I still don't feel like I've become myself. 

Hank: Agree!

John: Hank, we've got a question here from Hannah who writes, Dear John and Hank, if you could invent a new word, what would it be and what would it mean?

Hank: This is a great example of a question that I would typically think about for a few days before answering.

John: Okay, can I ask, let's try to answer that question on the next podcast. Oh, okay. But can I ask a question for this podcast? Is there a word that you would eliminate? and have its meaning eliminated from the English language? because I have one.

Hank: Oh. No, I don't. I don't. Not immediately.

John: There's nothing that- Mine is celebrity.

Hank: Yeah, okay. I could see that.

John: I would remove the idea of celebrity and the word celebrity from the language.

Hank: Don't you think that the idea of celebrity would just reappear immediately in some other? form?

John: No, because I don't think that it always existed. I think that there was an English language That was fairly comprehensive that did not include the word or the idea celebrity. It might have included the word or idea for famous person but not the specific word celebrity.

Hank: Interesting. I think that the concept of celebrity is a product of our culture as it currently exists and I don't think that the elimination of the word or the concept would change culture enough to have the concept not reappear.

John: Maybe. But.

Hank: But. Good point. It would be a good first step. Yeah, I do not like the idea of celebrity very much, having had some connection to it.

What is it about the concept of celebrity that bugs you?

John: Well, I think it's just the... And I'm completely hypocritical in saying this, but I feel like when the culture becomes so personality driven and so driven by the people who make stuff rather than the stuff itself, we end up sort of almost offering a kind of like divinity or worship toward individual people who are just as I don't really know anyone, including the most famous people I. know, who I think have Benefited from celebrity except financially and that's no small thing. of course that's a very big deal but I think that it's been a little bit destructive to a lot of the people. I know and I know that you know that worship of celebrity can be destructive because you know you're inevitably disappointed like you know that we have to be careful what we worship precisely because We give it tremendous power by worshiping it, and when we worship fame and particular ideas of beauty, I think that we maybe give those too much power.

Hank: Having thought during your talking there, the easy answer to that question that you just asked is that there are a number of words that exist solely for the perpetuation of hate, and I would love to eliminate those words and their And their concepts from our language as well.

John: Yeah, that's a great one. There's a ton of words that do nothing. Yeah, that's so true. That are nothing but hateful and help no one.

Hank: Yeah, and yes. And there's, of course, there's the words themselves that, you know, they're obviously just strings of letters, but it's really. about the concept. And so like in some ways you could eliminate. There are words that you could eliminate or concepts that you could eliminate and the word would still be used because the word is also used in un-hateful ways Right, but just the idea of saying like no you can't you can't use the word gay in a hateful way like there's no there's no concept. just the way that there's no that it's very difficult to to come up with a word that just means like.

That is a hateful word for friend. Like, that doesn't exist. Right.

So just like that, there should be no hateful word for a homosexual person. And the fact that, like, this word gay means both, like, positively, yes, I'm gay, and also, negatively, that is so gay, you are so gay.

John: Right. Yeah, I mean the same is true for women. I think there are lots of words that describe women that are very hateful and yeah, we shouldn't have those. or really for any kind of marginalized person. That reminds me of the word that I would invent.

It has given me an idea for the word that I. would invent. as to Hannah's question. Oh, okay. I would invent a word for lame other than lame. uh yeah yeah and a word for also. i would invent a word for idiotic. uh that didn't didn't rely upon uh idiot this uh you know early 20th century taxonomical way of describing uh people with intellectual disabilities. um i yeah i would love to have a word that meant lame which is because the meaning of lame is a very important thing to have in the world like in its colloquial usage I mean. but the word lame is hurtful to a lot of people. so yeah that's what I would. yeah but I don't know what the word would be. if does anyone if anyone ever has any suggestions please leave them as comments on SoundCloud or you can always tweet us at John Green or Hank Green.

Hank: I in that same vein I think that there aren't enough curse words that that are actually negative things. Like a lot of our curse words are like, well, that's just a bodily function or that's just an activity that many people enjoy engaging in. Right. Why, like, why?

Just because? like, like. we've sort of pull these things out of our taboos and oftentimes our taboos don't aren't don't actually make any sense. I would love to have more curse words that are just actual negative things. I can just like yell out like, you know.

Weapon of mass destruction, like... Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Think sarin gas. Yes.

Yeah, that's bad.

John: Stalin's mustache.

Hank: Yeah, that's good. I like that one. I often say poop on a stick. Poop on a stick, because poop, eh, you know, like we use lots of different words for poop are our curse words, but you know, that's just a thing that everybody does.

We shouldn't be ashamed of that. We shouldn't... 

John: Hank, maybe we should move on now to the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon.

Hank: Yeah, make that transition. Yes. Well, in news from Mars this week, one of the interesting things about Mars is that it was at one time covered, at least partially, in water, liquid water, and that is, you know, the main ingredient for life to exist. But the question is...

John: Hey, can I just pause real quick? Can we pause? Was it water? Like, our water is water?

Like, was it an ocean? Like, if I were in the Martian ocean of the distant past, would I swim in it and feel like I was in the ocean of Earth?

Hank: Well, we don't know. Yes, it would. Except for the fact that we're not sure what you would be breathing with your lungs. So it is possible that, in fact, likely...

In fact, almost certain that if you were in the Martian ocean and you took a breath, not of the water, but of the air, that you would not be able to survive on whatever stuff was in that air.

John: No, I was imagining that I was like scuba diving. Right.

Hank: Oh, yes. It would be, yes. If you were scuba diving on Mars and you had a tank full of oxygen, it would be exactly like scuba diving on Earth. Yeah, pretty much.

Yes.

John: Okay.

Hank: So the Martian water, we know that it was there, but the big question is how long was it there and where did it, where was it last? So the place where the water stuck around the longest is a really good candidate for where we should go and look to. see if maybe there was or still remains beneath the surface living things that might be based on an entirely different kind of biology. than we have here on Earth. And that would be a tremendous and sort of ridiculous wealth of scientific understanding of the universe and of life. So recently scientists have discovered basically what they think is the last place, pretty much, probably, that water existed on the surface of Mars.

And you can read about this in a number of places just by looking at maybe googling last lake on Mars. And it's possible that locked beneath the surface there, there are still certainly signs that life once existed, but also potentially life itself, which would be pretty exciting. So that is definitely knowing that.

Informs our future missions and also just our understanding of this wonderful planet that exists right here in our solar system.

John: Hank, I wonder if we could make a wager about life on Mars, so that if life is eventually found on Mars, you would win it, and if life isn't found on Mars within, say, the next 36 months, I would win it. Would that be possible?

Hank: 36 months?

John: Yeah, I think that's long enough in terms of human innovation to find some life.

Hank: No. No? I'll make the bet that in the next 20 years we will find life on Mars. Or that there was once life on Mars.

John: Okay, but I want to amortize the bet so that you have to pay me every year for the next 20 years and then if within the next 20 years there is a discovery of life on Mars I will pay you back everything that you've paid me plus whatever the bet is.

Hank: Alright, I'm gonna take that bet except that you have to pay me double what I put in.

John: One and a half times what you put in.

Hank: One and three quarters.

John: Done. All right. So we're betting that life will or will not be found on Mars, a cold dead rock with no life on it in the next 20 years.

Hank: So we could we should bet like $200 so that I have to give you $10 a year?

John: No, I was thinking that we would bet on a sponsorship of AFC Wimbledon so that you would have to sponsor an AFC Wimbledon game every season for. the next 20 years unless You're right, in which case I would have to sponsor one and three quarters times more games. 

Hank: Yeah, I don't like that bet, John. Let's just do $200.

John: All right, well, we'll have to keep working on what exactly the stakes should be, because I have to get to the news from AFC Wimbledon, which, as always, is so important. Hank, the less said about the first weekend of AFC Wimbledon season, the better. My prediction of a 3-0 victory against Plymouth was wrong. Instead it was a 2-0 loss, and then they lost in the Capital One Cup to Cardiff City.

So it's been a difficult week, still no goals scored in AFC Wimbledon season, but... But Hank, as I don't even know if you know this, but there is also a women's AFC Wimbledon team who are quite successful. And this week they signed two really good players, a striker named Kelly Jade Whelan and a goalkeeper named Chanel Salgado.

And Kelly Jade scored in her very first game, well, her first game back because she was also previously an AFC Wimbledon player. Anyway, she scored in her first game in a 3-1. victory over Enfield Town. this Sunday, and that's pretty exciting.

Hank: So I am really excited about both the youth sides that AFC Wimbledon And that is the news from Mars and AFC Wimbledon without any bias at all in either...

John: Nope, bias free.

Hank: And this has been this episode of Dear Hank and John with John Green, who is my brother, and I'm Hank. And it's nice to have you back for the second episode in a row, John.

John: Oh, it's so good to be here.

Hank: John Green, who is apparently just a guest star on this show because he shows up so infrequently. If you don't know who he is, he writes books and makes YouTube videos. And he is, what else do you do, John? You know, raises children and cares too much about obscure sports.

John: First off, there's nothing obscure about football. It's the number one sport in the world. Secondly, there's nothing obscure about AFC Wimbledon because they have a following around the world. Thanks in no small part to Dear Hank and John.

What did we learn on today's podcast, Hank?

Hank: We learned that yourself is the thing that you make.

John: We learned that sometimes. the thing that you make is pesto. And that is incredibly valuable, more valuable than any time or money.

Hank: We learned that sometimes the thing that you make is lasagna and surrealist drawings with new friends.

John: And of course we learned that a fart bag is an excellent insult.

Hank: Yes, bag of a thousand farts. This episode is edited by Nicholas Jenkins. Our theme music was by Gunnarolla. If you have any questions for us, you can send them to hankandjohnatgmail.com.

And as we say in our hometown, don't forget to be awesome.